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  #1  
Old 07-18-2010, 07:21 AM
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Maximum age to adopt?

As a single parent, what is the maximum age YOU would feel comfortable with adopting a second child?

I'm such a major planner, but my "plan" is off by a few years. I was suppose to adopt my first at age 35-36 (I actually adopted DD when I was 38) and I wanted to adopt my second by age 38 (I'm now 40 - eek!)

There are so many circumstances right now where it is simply NOT the right time to start the process again (may need to relocate due to career, or I may decide to start a business in my current city). BUT, I really do want a second child... I'm thinking if I don't start the process in the next 365 days then I will need to be content with one child.

Thoughts?
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  #2  
Old 07-18-2010, 07:57 AM
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My thoughts are that I would think about it at 50 or 55.

40 is the new 30. I have several good friends who gave birth after 45 and one who adopted an infant at 50. They do just fine.

I would think you will be fine, when ever you are ready to start the process for #2.
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  #3  
Old 07-18-2010, 08:18 AM
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It would depend on you I suppose. Many people are having kids in their 40s nowadays.

I know for me, I am currently 32 with a soon to be 1 year old. If I were to go for #2, I would try to do it (or at least be waiting by age 35...since that's the last year my homestudy is good for.
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  #4  
Old 07-18-2010, 11:13 AM
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single mom here - my 1st son arrived when I was 40, the 2nd at 43. I do wish I were a few years younger- but its all good!
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  #5  
Old 07-18-2010, 12:19 PM
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You know, I really do "feel" young... and I'm not just saying that. I don't smoke, never have... I drink socially (and only started that at age 30). I'm in good health.

Just recently I was mistaken for being "about 30" - I giggled like a maniac. My DD's godfather that I've known for 15 years thinks that I'm "33 or 34" - even though he knows I was 25 when we met. I swear, he really is a bright guy and can count to 10 all on his own.

I'm waffling between another girl or boy next time - will probably just leave it up to chance. I would like to have an open adoption since I have such an open and great relationship with DD's birthmom.

We will see...
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  #6  
Old 07-18-2010, 01:08 PM
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I am 42 and just adopted my first. I would like to adopt 2 or 3 more in the next few years. For me, I think 50 is about the upper age limit that I would consider adopting an infant.
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  #7  
Old 07-18-2010, 01:58 PM
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I adopted my first child at 53 and my second at 54. Both were infants when they came to me at 50.
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  #8  
Old 07-18-2010, 02:49 PM
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I plan to hopefully adopt a sibling group...I will be 39 next year and probably 40 at the time everything has been finalized...

If you feel up to the challenge both physically and mentally, I don't see an age "limit" on building your family!
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  #9  
Old 07-18-2010, 03:38 PM
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I'm 41 and in the process of adopting my first. I do wish I hadn't waited so long sometimes (I thought I had to be married before I adopted- lol). I'd like to have more than one, we'll see what life has in store!
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  #10  
Old 07-18-2010, 04:54 PM
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I was 38 when I adopted dd. When I started the process again at age 39, I thought 42 was my age limit. I'm approaching 44. I never imagined that adopting from the foster care system would have taken me this long. I think for me the age limit has gone out of the window because I'm certain I'm not done.
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  #11  
Old 07-19-2010, 07:06 AM
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It depends on the age of the child.

I'm 43. I would like my child to graduation before I retire
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  #12  
Old 07-19-2010, 07:28 AM
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I'm 48 now and think that I'm a little too old to start over with the process.

As wcurry66 says, though, if I could adopt a 3-4 year-old, I would reconsider. My daughter is 4 and would love a sibling (she thinks, at least!) but I don't know about starting the process now since it would probably take 1-2 years. Plus, the agency I worked with before has a cutoff age of 45.
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  #13  
Old 07-19-2010, 08:05 AM
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Today, some families adopt when they are in their 50s, and it is totally normal for families to adopt in their 40s. I am a single Mom, and I adopted my daughter, who was 18.5 months old at the time, when I was 51. We are having a terrific time, and I know quite a few families like ours.

Now, saying that, domestic agency adoption doesn't usually work for parents over 45. The reason is that many birthmothers prefer to place with younger parents, and they usually have a "say" in choosing the characteristics of the prospective parents. Many birthmothers have parents and grandparents who bore children at a fairly young age, and, to many, it feels "odd" to select adoptive parents who are the age of their grandparents.

With domestic foster care, it is often hard to adopt a healthy newborn; you often need to be willing to adopt a child with a disability or a achool aged child. As a result, the domestic adoption option that makes the most sense is private adoption, in the states that allow it. You seek out a birthmother on your own, and then use an attorney and a social worker to handle things like the homestudy and finalization.

Private adoption can be very risky, with high potential for a fallthrough. As a result, parents over 45 tend to adopt internationally, not domestically. Some countries allow adoption up to age 55.

My feeling is that if you come from a long lived family, have some energy , and really want to have children, go ahead and adopt. Thirty-two is actually young; some countries, today, won't even let a person apply to adopt until he/she reaches 30. And American women are even having bio children at 40 and beyond.

Sharon
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  #14  
Old 07-20-2010, 12:27 PM
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I adopted the Queen when I was 44. My plan was to add another one to the family within a year or 2. However, DD isn't ready for a sib (per ECI) and financially I can't do it right now. So, I am guessing I will be in the 48-50 range when I adopt again. I turn 46 next week. Yikes!
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  #15  
Old 07-20-2010, 05:23 PM
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Liana was born when I was 44, and came home when I was 45. I'm 48 now, and seriously considering a second child. Rather than an infant, I am looking into adopting a toddler, 1 or 2 years younger than Liana.

I LOVE being a mom. You know, so many of the parents of kids in Liana's preschool get babysitters and go out and do exciting adult things. I've DONE exciting adult things. I cannot think of anything I would rather do on a weekend than go to a zoo or a kids' museum. I haven't seen Avatar yet, (I'll see it some night after Liana has gone to sleep), but I LOVED Toystory. Ok. I miss SCUBA diving on vacations. But make-your-own-ice-cream-sundays are fun too. I used to shoot a mean game of pool. Last week on vacation, I learned to play miniature golf. Liana is a natural.

My back isn't great, and I can't carry her on my shoulders at parades. And maybe I don't "run" as much as I used to. But other than that, I can't think of anything a younger parent can do that I can't. I have more patience than I did when I was younger. I'm more financially secure. And I don't have the restlessness that I had well into my late 30's.

I'm glad I became a parent later in life than most. I have DONE so many things, that all I want to do now is focus on being a mom.
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