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Old 07-18-2010, 07:21 AM
Fe2002's Avatar
Fe2002 Fe2002 is offline
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Maximum age to adopt?

As a single parent, what is the maximum age YOU would feel comfortable with adopting a second child?

I'm such a major planner, but my "plan" is off by a few years. I was suppose to adopt my first at age 35-36 (I actually adopted DD when I was 38) and I wanted to adopt my second by age 38 (I'm now 40 - eek!)

There are so many circumstances right now where it is simply NOT the right time to start the process again (may need to relocate due to career, or I may decide to start a business in my current city). BUT, I really do want a second child... I'm thinking if I don't start the process in the next 365 days then I will need to be content with one child.

Adoptive Mom in 2007
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Old 07-18-2010, 07:57 AM
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txwannabemom txwannabemom is offline
adopted 1& back for more
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My thoughts are that I would think about it at 50 or 55.

40 is the new 30. I have several good friends who gave birth after 45 and one who adopted an infant at 50. They do just fine.

I would think you will be fine, when ever you are ready to start the process for #2.

Dec 31, 2013- Finished a second round of PRIDE to begin new foster/adopt journey for 3 little girls
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Old 07-18-2010, 08:18 AM
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DannieAS DannieAS is offline
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It would depend on you I suppose. Many people are having kids in their 40s nowadays.

I know for me, I am currently 32 with a soon to be 1 year old. If I were to go for #2, I would try to do it (or at least be waiting by age 35...since that's the last year my homestudy is good for.
I was a crazy single mom by choice to:

L (aka Tigger)

Now, I'm forging the journey of newlywed and adjusting to parenting with another person in the mix

I blog every now and then at

"We are told to forgive and forget ... But I couldn't forgive and I couldn't forget ... Then I realized .. I have a right to remember and I leave the forgiving to a higher being."~ Unknown
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Old 07-18-2010, 11:13 AM
HeidiK HeidiK is offline
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single mom here - my 1st son arrived when I was 40, the 2nd at 43. I do wish I were a few years younger- but its all good!
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Old 07-18-2010, 12:19 PM
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Fe2002 Fe2002 is offline
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You know, I really do "feel" young... and I'm not just saying that. I don't smoke, never have... I drink socially (and only started that at age 30). I'm in good health.

Just recently I was mistaken for being "about 30" - I giggled like a maniac. My DD's godfather that I've known for 15 years thinks that I'm "33 or 34" - even though he knows I was 25 when we met. I swear, he really is a bright guy and can count to 10 all on his own.

I'm waffling between another girl or boy next time - will probably just leave it up to chance. I would like to have an open adoption since I have such an open and great relationship with DD's birthmom.

We will see...
Adoptive Mom in 2007
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Old 07-18-2010, 01:08 PM
Longing2bMom Longing2bMom is offline
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I am 42 and just adopted my first. I would like to adopt 2 or 3 more in the next few years. For me, I think 50 is about the upper age limit that I would consider adopting an infant.
My fost/adopt journey:

05/04/09 - Attended fost/adopt orientation
06/30/09 - 08/25/09 - Attended fost/adopt classes
12/04/09 - Officially licensed (finally!!)

12/22/09 - Baby A is born!
12/23/09 - Meet Baby A in hospital - Fall INSTANTLY in love!
12/24/09 - Baby A comes home!
01/21/10 - Judges orders no reunification services for birthparents, sets TPR hearing for March 25, 2010
03/25/10 - TPR granted!
05/24/10 - Appeals period ended with NO appeals!
07/06/10 - Finalized!

9/22/10 - Meet Baby M (6 months old)
9/25/10 - Baby M comes home!
12/10/10 - TPR granted!
12/28/10 - Appeal filed
3/2/11 - Appeals court refuses to hear appeal
4/27/11 - Finalized!
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Old 07-18-2010, 01:58 PM
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Withay Withay is offline
I'm Just Me

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I adopted my first child at 53 and my second at 54. Both were infants when they came to me at 50.

Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments,
because you know they produce quarrels.

2 Timothy 2:23

Mom to:
AS - S
AS - N

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Old 07-18-2010, 02:49 PM
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sparkle1908 sparkle1908 is offline
What the deuce??
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I plan to hopefully adopt a sibling group...I will be 39 next year and probably 40 at the time everything has been finalized...

If you feel up to the challenge both physically and mentally, I don't see an age "limit" on building your family!

I"m blogging now !! Check me out:
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Old 07-18-2010, 03:38 PM
Leeah Leeah is offline
Mommy to Sweet Pea
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I'm 41 and in the process of adopting my first. I do wish I hadn't waited so long sometimes (I thought I had to be married before I adopted- lol). I'd like to have more than one, we'll see what life has in store!
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Old 07-18-2010, 04:54 PM
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SavannahGirl SavannahGirl is offline
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I was 38 when I adopted dd. When I started the process again at age 39, I thought 42 was my age limit. I'm approaching 44. I never imagined that adopting from the foster care system would have taken me this long. I think for me the age limit has gone out of the window because I'm certain I'm not done.
01/2005 - DD (Domestic Infant)
05/2013 - FD FS (Foster care)

Last edited by SavannahGirl : 07-18-2010 at 05:10 PM.
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Old 07-19-2010, 07:06 AM
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wcurry66 wcurry66 is offline
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It depends on the age of the child.

I'm 43. I would like my child to graduation before I retire
Nov 5, 2009 - princess moves in
Jan 14, 2010 - TPR, OA signed
Aug 5, 2010 - FINALIZATION

If you want to keep your memories, you first have to live them. Bob Dylan
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Old 07-19-2010, 07:28 AM
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Betelnut Betelnut is offline
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I'm 48 now and think that I'm a little too old to start over with the process.

As wcurry66 says, though, if I could adopt a 3-4 year-old, I would reconsider. My daughter is 4 and would love a sibling (she thinks, at least!) but I don't know about starting the process now since it would probably take 1-2 years. Plus, the agency I worked with before has a cutoff age of 45.

Decided on Guatemalan adoption: December 2004;
Signed with agency: January 2005;
Home study completed: May 2005;
Dossier submitted: End of August 2005;
Two referrals fall through, much nonsense: October 2005-May 2006;
3rd referral for Danna Gabriela: Born April 1, 2006, referred May 2006;
PGN: November 18, 2006
3 previos!: January 12, 2007 through June 2008
Out of PGN, August 14, 2007!
Got Pink!!!
Found out: October 3, 2007
Gotcha Day: October 14, 2007!!
Appointment is October 15, 2007!

Home forever: October 17th, 2007!
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Old 07-19-2010, 08:05 AM
sak9645 sak9645 is offline
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Today, some families adopt when they are in their 50s, and it is totally normal for families to adopt in their 40s. I am a single Mom, and I adopted my daughter, who was 18.5 months old at the time, when I was 51. We are having a terrific time, and I know quite a few families like ours.

Now, saying that, domestic agency adoption doesn't usually work for parents over 45. The reason is that many birthmothers prefer to place with younger parents, and they usually have a "say" in choosing the characteristics of the prospective parents. Many birthmothers have parents and grandparents who bore children at a fairly young age, and, to many, it feels "odd" to select adoptive parents who are the age of their grandparents.

With domestic foster care, it is often hard to adopt a healthy newborn; you often need to be willing to adopt a child with a disability or a achool aged child. As a result, the domestic adoption option that makes the most sense is private adoption, in the states that allow it. You seek out a birthmother on your own, and then use an attorney and a social worker to handle things like the homestudy and finalization.

Private adoption can be very risky, with high potential for a fallthrough. As a result, parents over 45 tend to adopt internationally, not domestically. Some countries allow adoption up to age 55.

My feeling is that if you come from a long lived family, have some energy , and really want to have children, go ahead and adopt. Thirty-two is actually young; some countries, today, won't even let a person apply to adopt until he/she reaches 30. And American women are even having bio children at 40 and beyond.

Sharon, age 69
"65 is the new 45!"
Mom to Rebecca
born 10/18/95
adopted 5/5/97
Xiamen (Fujian prov.), China
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Old 07-20-2010, 12:27 PM
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parenting-over-40 parenting-over-40 is offline
Mommy to "The Queen"
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I adopted the Queen when I was 44. My plan was to add another one to the family within a year or 2. However, DD isn't ready for a sib (per ECI) and financially I can't do it right now. So, I am guessing I will be in the 48-50 range when I adopt again. I turn 46 next week. Yikes!
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Old 07-20-2010, 05:23 PM
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Quesita Quesita is offline
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Liana was born when I was 44, and came home when I was 45. I'm 48 now, and seriously considering a second child. Rather than an infant, I am looking into adopting a toddler, 1 or 2 years younger than Liana.

I LOVE being a mom. You know, so many of the parents of kids in Liana's preschool get babysitters and go out and do exciting adult things. I've DONE exciting adult things. I cannot think of anything I would rather do on a weekend than go to a zoo or a kids' museum. I haven't seen Avatar yet, (I'll see it some night after Liana has gone to sleep), but I LOVED Toystory. Ok. I miss SCUBA diving on vacations. But make-your-own-ice-cream-sundays are fun too. I used to shoot a mean game of pool. Last week on vacation, I learned to play miniature golf. Liana is a natural.

My back isn't great, and I can't carry her on my shoulders at parades. And maybe I don't "run" as much as I used to. But other than that, I can't think of anything a younger parent can do that I can't. I have more patience than I did when I was younger. I'm more financially secure. And I don't have the restlessness that I had well into my late 30's.

I'm glad I became a parent later in life than most. I have DONE so many things, that all I want to do now is focus on being a mom.

5/06-8/06 Research
9/15 Signed with Agency!!!! The paperchase begins!
9/25 a princess is born
10/2 Homestudy Application and Police fingerprints
10/3 I600A Mailed
10/18 FBI Fingerprints
11/7 Homestudy Visit
12/13 State Fingerprints
12/14 Homestudy Submitted to USCIS!
12/23 I-171H!
2/6/07 Accepted referral of my beautiful daughter
2/22/07 DNA Authorized by Embassy
3/?/07 DNA came back 96.55%
3/?/07 Family Court
3/25/07 DNA Taken again
4/5 DNA comes back 99.2% - told there is a mutation and yet another sample is taken
4/6 My beautiful mother passes into eternity
4/18 DNA 99.9%
5/11 DNA Test #4 Scheduled... don't ask
5/11 Submitted to PGN
5/30 DNA 99.9% from lab US embassy accepts
6/23-6/30 Visit trip!
7/23 PA!!!
7/26 Back to PGN
August KO
9/6 Re-submit
10/29 Going to foster
11/5 Out of PGN!!!!
11/20 Passport
11/21 Orange
12/2 DNA 99.999%
12/10 E-Pink
12/18 Embassy
12/28/07 HOME!!!!!!
7/10 Paperchasing for toddler from Ethiopia!

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