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  #16  
Old 09-05-2002, 05:18 AM
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Re: Too many children...

I'm from a family of nine children, and I can say that having so many siblings get better as we all grow older. There's nothing like family, and its really a built-in support group, especially when I recently gave my baby up to be adopted by my older sister.

When people made comments to my Mom about having so many children she would smile, and say, "yes, we are truly blessed to have so many children." Or she would look at them sweetly and say, "hmm... which one don't you think I should have had?" when they couldn't answer she would say something like, "yeah, we couldn't decide either."

Good luck with all of your kids
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  #17  
Old 09-05-2002, 06:54 AM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By C. Kemper

Don't worry about what other people think. What you are doing for your kids means soooo much more than other people's opinion!!! Right?
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  #18  
Old 09-05-2002, 06:55 AM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By C. Kemper

Don't worry about what other people think. What you are doing for your kids means soooo much more than other people's opinion!!! Right?
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  #19  
Old 09-05-2002, 07:08 AM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By christine

You GO girl and don`t worry about what others say its their loss and their ignorance.You answer to noone but self and your higher power and if you raises your children with that same big heart you have they will do fine.Mother of 11.
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  #20  
Old 09-05-2002, 08:45 AM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By merilyn

I am considering adopting siblings and you have just given me the confidence to innitiate it. I think you are doing great Keep up the good work. Merilyn
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  #21  
Old 09-05-2002, 09:13 AM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By Judy

We have 14 children, 10 still at home with us. They are Caucasian, Korean/Africian American, and Hispanic.
When I am out alone with them I get the stares, and coments about how many men I must of slept with. So I solved thier gossip and wonder by making up a little pin that I wear. " As me about adopting, look at the beautiful children We've adopted " Now all I get is praise for the wonderful work we are doing, and questions about the children. We want to adopt more, and we also only take siblings so that they can stay togeter. We believe that since they have already lost their whole family there is no reason to separte them. Keep up the good work, and keep the kids together. A simple trip to the craft store is all it takes !
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  #22  
Old 09-05-2002, 02:35 PM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By Cheri

Kathy - I know from your posting that what you're feeling is painful so I hope you won't mind that it made me smile, 'cause I'm a mother of seven by choice too - although ours are spaced MUCH farther apart and are of so many races that it's very obvious that they're all adopted. One of the most intended-to-be-hurtful remarks I got was from my mother-in-law who said, "your life must be so empty that you keep trying to fill it up with kids, it's so sad."

You really do have to get to the point that you can just laugh about it, especially in front of your kids. I tell my kids that we are so rich in people, I tell them that they are my treasures. And, when the moment calls for it, there's nothing wrong with being right to the point with busybodies. You might try one of the following:

"God has blessed me with 7 children, I'm so lucky"
"Yes, I'm lucky to have been allowed to adopt these children."
"It's hard to worry about birth control when you're adopting."

or, how about a good, old-fashioned "mind your own business".

It has been funny for me, as a white Mom with lots of brown kids to note people's reactions. When I'm by myself with my three african-american kids, people of both races look at me like I'm some kind of low-life (sleeping around I guess they're thinking), but, when I'm with my also-white husband they look at us like we're saints. Well, we're neither - just very blessed and sometimes very tired parents.

Hang in there - YOU know the truth and YOU know that you're doing the right things. God is on your side, so let people's comments fall where they may.

Cheri Tillman
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  #23  
Old 09-07-2002, 04:49 PM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By Rachel Murphy

I understand what you are going through. We have 6 children at the moment. 3 are my biological children and 3 are foster children we have adopted (or are in the process of. My youngest child's bio-mom just had twins a few days ago. We have already been aproached about taking them. That would make 8! We never planned to have this many children, but like you we love everyone of our children and are grateful to have them. I havent discovered a response to the rudness yet either. My oldest child is 11 and recently his teacher said to me "Now, how many children do you have, with how many different men?" I was terribly insulted! We are a wonderful family as I am sure you are! Let me know if you find a good response! rachelmurphy@tds.net
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  #24  
Old 09-07-2002, 06:21 PM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By trish

I wouldnt worry about it. I have 6 kids (all adopted) and we get funny remarks and looks all the time. We are HOPING to adopt more. I just figure if the remarks are the price we pay... then so be it. I look at these people and think "at least WE arent ORDINARY...MY FAMILY is EXTRAordinary!!!"
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  #25  
Old 09-09-2002, 08:56 PM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By Marie Johnson

You know I have 9 children. They are biological ( 5 still at home) and I am looking forward to adopting in the near future. I don't have any good comebacks except that in life there is usually something that everyone does that is different than others. Someone on the corner may have green hair someone may be an alcholic and so on.... Teach your children that everyone has their own story and that you are very privledged to have chosen to be in their presense and to have them in your life. Also tell them that sometimes you feel sorry for people that don't have the experience you have and who don't understand. The children will not be bothered unless you are. Stick out your chest and tell them how greatful you are. Children all understand intuitively and will know what you are talking about. I had a friend that had 8 children ( 6 adopted) that she was greedy and selfish to have been given so many wonderful kids. Take care and good luck.
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  #26  
Old 09-16-2002, 07:42 PM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By Carolyn Dembowski

Love multiplies it doesn't divide, so when people make rude comments just smile and know that you have much love from your family, and that they will always have each other to support and care for during good and difficult times.
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  #27  
Old 09-18-2002, 05:31 AM
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Re: Too many children...

Originally Posted By Wendy

Kathy, you are an inspiration to so many--I pray God blesses me one day with lots of children. We have 2 and are getting ready to adopt a little girl from Kazakhstan.
Keep in mind what Mother Teresa said: "How can you say there are too many children, that is like saying there are too many flowers." Children are a blessing, the more you have the more you are blessed!!
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  #28  
Old 11-05-2002, 09:18 PM
cdkmpat cdkmpat is offline
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I know that alot of people have already replied to your post but I struggle with this everyday. I too have seven children 5 bio and 2 adopted. We have mine, he adopted him,his I adopted him ,, ours four girls we had to gether and then we adopted his sons half sister to keep them together. People are very judgemental about things that they don't know about. On woman said to her five yar old daughter in front of my kids. Move out of the womans way that doesn't know what birth contorl is. My older kids started asking questions. Then we ran into this ignorant womans again. This time we were in her way so I told my children to kindly move out of the way of this very ignorant lady aand of course my children asked my she was ignorant so I told them loudly so she could hear that that woman is very ignorant because she makes judgements on other peoples family without knowing the cercomstances of it. Her face dropped and that was that. I lvoe all my babies from my belly or my heart they all grow the same.... Never feel bad about all the things that you do for your family. Those children need you to be their mother and protector By protecting them you are defending them...They have a wonderful mother who care so much for them. Talk to your children about the comments that people make so that they understand what has happened that how you feel so they never feel that they should not be in a family that big. Best of Luck Carlynn Mom of seven beautiful babies.
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  #29  
Old 12-26-2002, 10:13 PM
Robin15 Robin15 is offline
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We have 15 children, 10 are adopted. 13 are living at home and of those 12 are ages 12 and under : ) That can cause peoples mouths to hang open. We have been truly blessed and I am open to talk to people about adoption. I also say-we are looking for more. That usually leaves them speechless. Robin15
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  #30  
Old 01-03-2003, 10:39 PM
beverly gardner beverly gardner is offline
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too many children

Kathy,
Don't sweat it. I have 16 children. 12 of whom are adopted. Our own DHR agency, the one that gave us all of the kids, has said the same thing to us. My kids are white, black, and bi-racial. Boy do we get looks. Plus they are handicapped. People ask us why we want so many. I tell them because they don't. They tend to shut up after that. Hang in there and don't let it stop you from helping more children.
Bev.
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