[lizzieisfullofhope]

Thank you so much for your side, it is really great to hear from your side. We talked to the 3 girls counselor yesterday, and my husband and I have decided we are going to go for it. I really think what my husband needed was to hear the issues and how to work with them from their actually counselor.
Thank you for your story. It makes me think that we are doing what is right. We have a huge support system and I am calling a family therapist/indiv therapist one that specializes in adoption families and one that will be able to continue working with what the girls have been working on.
This feels right, not to just me but to my husband also.

[ranoutofnames]

How wonderful for you and DH to finally have peace about your decision... sometimes it's a true leap of faith needed and then you can conquer the rest together.

If I might offer my own advice, coming from a foster parent who has lots of different ages coming in...

If you have the option, if your 9yr olds are in the same grade and there are at least two classes for that same grade, request they have different teachers. Although it's a LOT more work to keep up with an additional teacher and different school work I've found that if my same grade kids share the same teacher there are more problems. If you're in a small school it might not be an option, but if at all possible I'd request this accomodation.

Another poster mentioned bedrooms. You didn't mention bedroom space, but for the first year I wouldn't have your bio children share the same room as your new children. Not only because of the prior posters concern but also because they will each need time for healthy venting and to get away from each other. With that said, I wouldn't put a child (or sibling set) in a room that feels physically separated from everyone else (such as most bedrooms downstairs and only one upstairs.) If that is your only option then please consider putting yourself and DH in that physically separated room.

In addition, I'd take out all media in their rooms (such as TV's) which will force everyone to congregate together.

... and for my last bit of advice. During this upcoming 5 day visit I would recommend you stay home and keep it as boring and "normal" as possible. Divide out chores that will become everyone's responsibility with the understanding there is no $$ for doing it... you do it because you are a family. Try living as a family, not as a family with 3 new guests.

Truly I'm excited for you to finally have a decision.