[Crane13]

Until two day ago, the oldest child in my home was 6. Our sib group that we are adopting are here to visit and will come for good as soon as icpc is done. So dh and I are learning how to manage a house full of bodies. We both work outside the home and need a good working routine around the house. I have two 11 year olds and an 8 year old now (along with 6 and 3ish). Does anyone have advice about chores? My six year old has been feeding the dogs forever and then he helps out with what ever we ask of him. Should I be implementing a chore routine now? Should we just ask kids to help out when needed, but every day? We were planning a 20 minute "group clean up" after dinner every night. I really need some ideas here. I am not used to kids who actually can do for themselves! We were thinking about "helping tokens" that they copuld earn by being helpful, respectful, doing chores, etc that they could cash in for gameboy time, etc. Any one ever doen something like this before?

Thanks!

[SherBear2528]

Hi there,
My children are not as old as yours, but I do believe parents should set expectations from the beginning. When we got our kids home, they were automatically in a very different world. They had never beem disciplined, and they never had any chores, not even in the least. Not even picking up after themselves.
So, we started out simple. We made our oldest, then 3 and 5, a check chart. It had things like "Be Honest, Respect Others" (ask before taking and no name calling), along with other things like "Feed Pets, Clean Family Room..."
In the past year, we have built upon this. I have also had to obviously teach them how to do chores. They can wash walls and doors, clean the bathroom sink and counter and toilet (with help).
We give out tickets (short strips of poster board I cut up), and at the end of the week they can buy stuff from our family 'store'. I put things from the dollar store, or even thrift store they would like here, and decide the price. It also helps them learn about spending.

My recommendation is to make a list of what you need done, and give each of the kids one or two to start with. Make them easy if you need to, so they can succeed and feel great about it. I think it helps to be up front about chores: "This is what needs to be done to make our house run, and as part of the family, you have a responsibility to help."
Whatever the age, they can and SHOULD help.

Hope that makes sense.

[minxycat]

Hi!
Our two came to us at 4 and 6 years old, almost three years ago. Once they were settled in we put them on a regular chore schedule. We keep their daily chore list on the fridge. In addition to chores we list personal grooming, homework and piano. All must be complete prior to playtime. We started with pretty simple chores, but now they do a lot to help keep the house running. Hubby and I work fulltime and we don't have a dishwasher so we all need to work together. Of course things come up that don't need to be done on a regular basis, such as yard work, so those things are assigned as needed or instead of time outs for bad behavior. Also, they must pick up after themselves throughout the house. If we have to remind them to do so we just assign an extra chore.

Janice

[rk36]

I plan on starting our kids on chores about a week after they come to live with us.

Our birth daughter has had chores since she was five. she is now 13.

I started her off slow and added to the list as she got older. She can clean the entire kitchen, bathroom, do laundry and help mow the yard.

I found that breaking it down by day and room and listing each thing you wanted done helped alot. They definately need some type of reward or bonus to make them feel good.

It sure helps when you aren't the only one doing the work.

I also found that having them assigned to the same chores each day works better than on a needed basis. They don't want to be pulled away from their fun. My daughters chores only take her about thirty minutes a day.

Rose

[siblingadoptionblog]

I agree with what everyone else has said and would add that I like your token system for rewards. We do that in our home, but I never let any of the kids earn more than 30 minutes of screen time per day. That includes Gameboys, computer games and TV time. If they are glued to a screen, that is time that they aren't interacting with or learning to bond with their new family.

There are a ton of systems out there for rewards, but one that my kids really love is a debit card. I glue a photo of them on a 3x5 card and print "Debit Card" on it. On the back it says "I currently have ____ points". I laminate the whole thing and then can write with a white board marker how many points they have. I have a "store" where they can buy things with points earned, or they can spend points on riding bikes, screen time, playing games with Mom, etc.

Depending on previous placements, they may not have the best skills when it comes to chores. My 11 year old who came home 4 months ago had to be taught many times how to clean, so we did alot of chores side by side. Kids enjoy it more when you are working alongside them, so I like your group clean up idea. One book I would highly recommend if you are looking for ideas is Teaching Children Responsibility by Richard and Linda Eyre. I have gleaned many ideas from that one as well as their book Three Steps to a Strong Family.

[cvalda]

My kids have some set chores, and some chores that are done when I ask. I don't give my kids rewards for regular household chores because I feel helping out is part of being a family and should be done regardless. They do get an allowance (which isn't related to chores, though). And if they do an exceptional chore - something not normally required - like my oldest mows our lawn and we have a HUGE lawn that takes him about 2 hours to do - I DO pay him for that because to me that's not an average household chore that benefits the family (such as cooking or cleaning or setting the table does).

;~) Kelly

[StorkWatcher]

Our "required" chores growing up were:

Bed made, room picked up before playing
Those who had pets, had to take care of them
The setting/clearing of the table was also divided among us, and we took turns with this
We were also responsible for sorting our laundry and having it down to the laundry room by laundry day. (Of course, we slacked on this, so by the 3rd grade, the two older of us girls were having to do our own laundry! Great punishment)

Optional chores earned extra money or privileges:
yardwork
washing cars
anything Mom and Dad needed help with that they were willing to "pay"for

I like the idea of chore charts and positive reinforcement. My mom used poker chips for a while as tokens we could earn to cash in for TV time.

Some families have a chore jar, where they put in things like caring for the pet, bathroom duty, KP duty - and each week everyone draws for a chore and does it all week. That way, work varies from week to week.

If a child has a good part in taking care of things around the house, it helps them learn that it's not just the parents' house, it's the kids' home too - and it takes everyone in the team doing his or her part to make things run smoothly! Plus teaches them responsiblity cooperation.

[kimmom]

Kelly arent you about out of chores for your kids to do? When you get your newest additions you must have everything covered right?

[CallMyselfEsther]

A couple ideas for you.

We went from three to five kids this month, so had questions about chores myself.

1) There is a yahoogroup called Large Family Logistics. They have great tools on raising a large family (4 or more kids). There is even a file about chores, so check that out! This website has organized my growing family!

2) FlyLady. AWESOME! She will organize your home and life. I've been flying for about a year. What a difference. FlyLady has a yahoo group. Check it out on yahoo.

Best wishes, Esther