[kmagnusson]

Hello,

My DH and I are considering adopting from foster care. Our adoption journey has been a winding path with many ups and downs. We started with a Russian adoption agency. Then by accident we were offered to adopt a little boy from local county social services until a grandparent stepped in and the judge gave him custody.

We are thinking of changing agencies and going with a private non-profit agency that does adoptions of waiting children instead of going through the county social services. We live in a very rural area of Minnesota and it is my understanding that it would be very hard for us to foster/adopt or do concurrent planning. That is okay with us since our last time working with the local county social service was not positive.

We are looking at adopting a sibling group with 3 or less children age 8 and under. I have found several groups already on national and state photolists. I am interested in hearing how others have adopted waiting children through a private agency. Is this possible without doing foster/adopt? What was the process? How much time did it take to find a match? What are the pros and cons of adopting waiting children? Any advice would be welcomed.

God Bless,

Kathy

[tlc4kidz]

I don't have any real advice, because we adopted our fosterchildren, but I can tell you that if you are looking at kids from Missouri, if they say "on hold" by their names they have already had a staffing and a family selected. You might do a search for Jackson County MO adoption photolist....I know there's quite a few sib groups.

[crick]

We adopted a sibling group of 4 almost 3 years ago. We didn't do any fostering at all and we went through a private agency.

For us, the pros were having a faciliator on our side so to speak and mediate with the social worker and state, as well as help us find the right match by telling us what terms like "needs a lot of structure, charming etc" could really mean and whether or not we felt confident that we could handle certain issues etc. Obviously we didn't deal with a long term placement only to have custody returned to the state or bfamily etc., and we were only willing to accept a placement where termination of rights had already happened. (You could accept a legal risk placement though if you are comfortable with that)

I also like the fact that now almost 3 years later, I still keep in touch every now and then with our mediator and can call on the agency for support anytime we need it. Excellent resource for us when needing counselling etc.

Another pro for us was that our agency worked very closely with the counties in our state and knew of possible placements very quickly and before the kids were listed on the waiting child websites etc.

Cons - everything happened so quick for us. We first heard about the kids in April, met with their sw in May & had the meeting with the foster parents etc, and then towards the end of May we met the kids. Had weekend visits, then a week visit and then 2 weeks. Were placed with us permanently August 1st. So it was a very quick process when trying to bond and get a routine down etc. We did hold off on finalizing until the following April but could have finalized in December, 6 months after placement.

Other cons were not being able to meet the bfamily at all just to have an idea what they were like and be able to answer the kids' questions that pop up later. Plus, no baby pics or some medical information that I'd like to have was not available.

There are some other issues relating to a sibling group adoption but figure I'll save those for another post. Hope this helps?

[tmjbstark]

Hi Kathy,

My husband and I just finished our home study. We live in a rural area in MN as well and went through a private agency in Grand Rapids because our county social services no longer does adoption studies. We have had a really great experience with them so far as opposed to another private agency that we started with. Basically, we filled out an application, attended an orientation session, registered for classes, filled out many pages of paperwork that included background checks, physicals and personal essays. Then we attended a few full days of adoption training to prepare us for parenting a child adopted from the foster care system. In this training you learn the pros and cons of adopting out of the foster care system. Anyway, it is definately possible to adopt without doing fost/adopt. We are currently waiting for a referral/placement. We are looking to adopt siblings as well in just about the same age bracket as you! Check out www.mnadopt.org for a listing of public and private agencies in MN. Best of luck to you!