[righteousbabe]

Well. I've just found this site and I'm really surprised and happy with the number of young people on here...

I've been told that my birth mother was 15 when she had me and put me up for adoption. I was born in Darwin, Austrlaia. She named me and my adoptive parents kept that name.

2 Years later (when she was 17), she had a "long term" boyfriend and they both were planning on moving to Melbourne, Australia. She got pregnant again and apparently the boyfriend didn't want to keep the baby so she put it up for adoption - my adoptive parents adopted the new baby and now I live with my "real" sister. We have the same mother but different dad - she looks like she has some Italian/Greek in her.

It's really weird knowing that I live with a 'blood' relative (what me and my sis call it, haha) and then my adoptive parents. I can't imagine what it must have been like for our birth mum having to give up 2 kids in 2 years.

I am glad, in a way, that it happened like that. I can't imagine raising a child at 15 or 17. And if my sister wasn't adopted as well, I would never know her.

Because our birth mum was so young, I have no doubt there are other family members out there that we don't know.

I have a question for all parents who have had children and put them up for adoption..... do you really think about them often? Do you want to meet them? Honestly, are there times when you don't want to meet them - and why? I'm so scared to start the search because I don't want to be let down - I don't want them to say "Sorry, she doesn't want anything to do with you". Maybe that was a really bad part of her life and she's blocked it out and doesn't want it coming back to haunt her? I don't know...

[BethVA62]

you'll never really know until you ask her will you?

when i talked to my mom for the first time, I asked her if she thought of me on my birthday
She said, "I've thought of you everyday"

[bprice215]

My daughter was always on my mind, you can't have a child and forget that. I'm sure your birth mom will love to hear from both you guys, but you'll never know the joys of a reunion until you decide to search. Let me now say it is a double edge sword and wont work unless you decide to search, stop worrying about things you have no control over and give it your best shot, you're answer may be closer than you think.

bprice215

[-maggie]

My bdaughter is always on my mind. In our experience, bdaughter was very nervous about making contact at first, but was extremely happy she did! She was able to get all of the answers she needed and found out that things were a lot different than she expected. She was able to let go of a lot of anger.

IMO.... you will never know if you don't ask! The whatifs and wondering can drivie ya nuts!

Good luck to you and your journey!

[cetalley]

Yes, Yes, Yes.....I agree with one of the post about one never forgets giving birth to a child. I do not care who you are or the circumstances that occured, one NEVER forgets. As for some, they choose to not want to know. Having said that, regardless of that choice , EVERY person has the right to know of where they came from...their origins if you will, no exceptions to this rule. The worst that can happen is first parents may refuse contact, but that does not mean you have to stop search. I think for every bad search...there are 10 happy searches. I am a FirstMom to twin sons, they are now 22 yrs. old,and am actively searching. I cannot wait until I know 1st hand that they are safe, together, healthy and happy. I will welcome whatever it is that comes my way, and I will respect their needs in all of this, regardless! I am sure your FirstMom thinks of you all the time...so if what is in your heart is to know more of your origins, GO FOR IT! Much Peace and Serenity....

[linneyd]

theres never a day goes by when i dont think of the child i gave up for adoption. it has been the biggest regret of my life and has had an impact of every aspect of my life. i hope someday to meet with my daughter as the emptiness i feel is undescribable. Good luck!

[Cassidy77]

Not a day goes by that you don't think about the baby you placed. You wonder how they are doing and if it is a closed adoption, you wonder what they look like, if they had a good life, if they are/were happy. I think the only reason a woman would be hesitant to meet their birthchild is because of fear. I don't know any women that would pass up a chance to be in the same room with their birthchild I say GO FO IT TOO!!!

[cetalley]

Righteousbabe, I have not heard from you and am wondering how you are doing in your quest fr finding your first family? I hope you are doing well and we are all pulling for you!

[scott103068]

Do they really think about you everyday? I was adopted 38 years ago ( I am 40 today) my "real" mom is only 56. I wonder about her daily. I wonder if shes still with us. It hurts the most on my birthday (today). I wonder what could have been but dont regret what has been.

Wish I could meet her and be friends.

[humbird753]

Scott -
I am a birthmom of a daughter who turned 38 this year. I thought of her all the time (especially birthdays). Birth moms never forget about their child.
I have been searching, and now have a name and possibly a way of communicating with her via email. I don't have her email address, but on a website where she is an active member there is an area where you can click on "email this member". I've only known this information for a week. I am very nervous, and wondering what to write since it's FIRST contact with her. I do not want to overwhelm her, but I just like you would hope we can be friends.

[cetalley]

Scott, I am a Firstmom to twin sons...22 yrs.old now, yet to find..but am searching. Happy Birthday, and if what your heart truly wants, you should search for your Firstmom. I know you used the phrase "real" mom, but in reality your mom who raised you is your "real" mom, your Mother who , loved and gave birth to you is your natural or Firstmom. She has thought of you , probably daily, I am NEVER without thoughts of my twin boys...ESPECIALLY on holidays and Birthdays. It is not something a mom can forget...giving birth to our child. Some, and I do not know why, do not want contact...but I am sure 99% DO want to know if their child is safe, alive and healthy. So be prepared for what you seek, most moms want to know their child. Good luck, If you are serious about reunion and you decide to search, I would not delay. I am 47 yrs old...age has a way of making you think that one should do all they wish to do...because life is too short...and we are never guaranteed not one more day! Blessings and Luck!

[rachaelsbaby]

Hi! I am also adopted, and I DID find my mother, but only when the timing was right. I had studied much about how to go about it without giving anyone a heart attack...Anyway, long story, short...My adoption was closed, I had acess only to 'non-identifying information', which I got, and which led me straight to her. You are much younger, so they may not make the same mistakes, but I will post my story so you can read it and see what I did.
My mother was thrilled to reconnect, had thought about me much, much, much, and we had a very good relationship until she passed away. I hope the same holds true for you.