[crystalp]

I hope you all don't mind if I ask a question on this board. My husband and I are waiting to be matched with an eMom, and, more than likely, our new baby will be AA. We are both CC and have 3 biological children. My question is, do you have any advice on how to help our new child be proud of his/her heritage and race? We don't want to discount him/her being black, we want to celebrate it and make sure he/she knows that it is beautiful. Any ideas? Thanks!

[loveajax]

CrystalP, you may get more responses to this on the forum called "transracial adoption." I am the mom of a biracial (AA/cauc) DD. Some of the things that I have "understood" may be important are:

1. Making sure that your child has positive real life role models of the same race as him/her (my best friend is a biracial successful woman and I am so glad I have her in my life!).

2. Living in a diverse community (I don't, unfortunately) or at least making efforts to go to church, social events, etc. where there are others that will look like your child.

3. Having books, dolls, etc. that look like your child.

4. Embracing the fact that you are truly a multiracial family now. Being comfortable with it....learning how to deal with stares/comments, etc. Not "discounting" the child's race (like my mom sometimes will say dumb things like, "I wouldn't care if she were green - - I love her!"...I know it's well intentioned, but it kind of discounts the fact that DD is black!).

GOOD LUCK!!!

PS: there also is a good book to read called "Does Anyone Else Look Like Me" that discusses how to "handle" raising a child of a different race than you,etc. (not adoption specific, but helpful). I have heard of another one called (I think) "I'm Chocolate, You're Vanilla" that Ihaven't read yet, but heard was good.

[crystalp]

loveajax - thanks! I will definitely post this on that other forum. And thanks for the ideas!