[christana]

Originally Posted by cnb1099

I am an adoptee and the oldest of three siblings. I am the only one that was adopted as my parents tried for many years to conceive and couldnot. 2 years after I was adopted my brother was born and another year later my sister was born.

They have always known that I was adopted and when we were young they would make comments li8ke they would not drink out of the same cup because we had "different germs", silly I know, but hurtful as a child to hear. As adults we are all very close and they have been very supportive of me in my reunion with my bmother.

I have always felt though that there is a stronger "bond" between the two of them because they were "blood related". Even to this day I feel odd talking to them about my reunion and choose to divulge very little to them about my progress. I cannot explain why I do not want to let them in and I feel guilty about it.

I love my siblings, I am auntie B to their kids, my kids adore them and I would do anything for them..but deep down there is this odd man out feeling.

I just wonder if anyone else was the only adoptee in a home with naturals? Does this feeling ever really go away? I am very interested in hearing from others...

wot right do they hav to say those things, i feel for u, am oldest sibling,others not adopted, found out by accident 4 yrs ago, nothing changed, always felt like odd one out, always remember comments like, we not fat, but you big blah blah,its all unfair,uncalled for,they have a lot to answer for my heart is with you x

[bridgetkoc]

you're definately not alone here!

i am the middle child of two biological boys. I feel a closer bond with my younger brother simply because we are closer in age. We do not speak of my adoption or that i am different in anyway, and i wish i had his support instead of hiding everything i am going through. When we were younger and i told him i was adopted he use to say things out of anger, like 'shut up you're really adopted.' and i know its silly too, but little things like that really do hurt. so i definately feel ya here!

[prairieman]

I am the oldest and my little brother was born 5 years after. I must say that it makes me a bit sad to hear the stories of people feeling outta place. My Brother and I have never had any akward moments as a result of my reunion. I guess I got lucky. I remember when it was all happening, and it happened fast, he'd call and ask for the updates, and ask how I was feeling about it all, and he seemed excited for me. I always made a point of being very open with him about my feelings and such. He has always accompanied me to dinners and concerts with my bio-mom and her husband, and to all the other bio sisters, and brothers houses for bbqs.

Family isn't always based on blood and dna imo, it is based on unconditional love and understanding.

[BrennaMiriam]

Hey there,I know it hurts my aparents couldn't have children so adoptee me,when I was thirteen my mom left my dad with me and we moved to Belgium,she was from there,and my dad remarried,and has two children of his own,about the same age as mine,I was a teen mom and he was an older dad,anyway,living in Belgium and him with my sisters in Canada,makes me feel like an outsider even thought my dad reasures me that I'm as much his daughter as my sisters.
But hey,kids will be kids,my son of ten won't even drink from my cup because of germs,go figure,lol.
I'll pray for you.
xxx

[Liz79]

I hav etwo older sisters that are my adoptive parents, "real children" as my middle sister used to say. I love my sisters and they love me. But I too always felt the odd one out even now that we are older. Especially now that I have my own children. To never look like anyone etc. while they all look alike, its hard on a kid. And the question I hate Whats it like being adopted?
You aren't the only one with these feelings Trust me!
My middl esister always resented me cause, mum and Dad always tried to make sure that I didn't feel left out that it kinda worked in reverse.

[jrainbow]

In my opinion, sibling differences are just part of being a family. Families with only natural kids have kids who feel like the odd man out and kids with different talents, gifts and attitudes.

In my family, my sister and I were both adopted and younger natural brother. One of my cousins favorite stories was when my sister and I told my brother that "we were specially chosen, they just had to take what they got with you". Although we all always knew about the adoption, I can honestly say that none of us felt that our parents treated us differently because of it. We are all very different and, in some ways, my sister and I are much more like our parents than my brother. Growing up my brother and I were closer and, as adults, my sister and I are closer.

Many years later, both my sister and I are reunited with bparents but that hasn't changed who our family is.

[noele1218]

I am the middle child with an older sister and younger brother. My parents did not think that they could have any more children! I have never felt different from them. It is always the family joke that I was lucky not getting the crazy genes. But I guess I have been really lucky with my family. I can talk about the issues I have with my birth family and it drives my mom crazy that they do not want to meet me.

[athikers]

I would add to what another poster touched on. I am my dad's only biological daughter (he adopted two daughters after me with his second wife) and I have always felt like the odd man out, so it comes with all sorts of children, adopted or not. Perhaps it is more prevelant or more discussed with adoptees.