[dmca]

I saw the question "do feel you were coerced into relinquishing your child and thought that it doesn't really apply to us, the older Natal Mothers.
There was no "open" adoption or anything near that.

So, How do the older NM ( natal mothers) feel about SOCIETY forcing us , through lack of any means of support to relinquish your child?

How did you feel being seen as a "fallen woman" with all the social stigma attached?

If your parents went along with the idea that you were undesirable, how did you or did you ever forgive them ?

Did you feel that the adopting family was doing a "gotcha" on your child?

How long did you keep it a secret and from whom?
Going along with that question,did you feel that society forced you to keep it a secret from people?

How did you cope with no counsiling?

I"m sure there's more questions for our generation, so feel free to add what you like.
dmca

[BrandyHagz]

Where did you get the term "Natal mother" - I've never heard it before and it sounds really disrespectful, to me at least.

[dmca]

to each his own I suppose. Some take umbrage with the term birth mother and others with adoptive mothers.
Natal is in reference to the infant. NO disrespect intended.
We have no hard and fast rules about what is disrespectful and what is acceptable.
Just out of curiosity, why do you think it is disrespectful?
dmca

[BrandyHagz]

I guess, for me at least, I am more than an infant mother - for me, birthmother our defines what I did - I gave birth to her and I am one of her two mothers - I will continue to be a mother to her long after she is an infant and well into adulthood...I will always be the mother who gave birth to her...but she will not always be an infant.

For me personally, birthmother defines the roll I play in my daughters life to a T - I am the mother who gave birth to her.

[dmca]

I understand.
See, we are from different generations. My daughter was in a closed adoption and now 39 years later we are reunited.
I can't wait to meet her mother and brother. I only wish I had met her father before he passed away.
today, the mothers of the infants have a role in their lives. Not so with my generation.
That was why I started another thread for women who relinquished in my generation and older.
Different experiences.
thank you for sharing.
dmca