[wereeves]

We have to sign the consent forms to have all the contact info released. But the search is over. She called the intermediary Monday night. She married my birthdad. I have 2 FULL brothers and a sister! OMG! I feel like I am making this all up! They are divorced now. He remarried. I'm an Aunt! One of my brothers has a child. My brother! Talk about best case scenario!
ok, deep breath....but what am I feeling. total elation. gratitude. nervous excitement.
.......and totally detached from my adoptive family. mainly my a-mom. suddenly. overnight. like her replacement has finally arrived. I didnt expect that reaction at all. Its making me feel bad, but just because it seems like it should make me feel bad. Not because of a-mom potentially hurt feelings. I have always been detached and pretty unemotional and not affectionate with them. She's never even been in the running for mom of the year. She did her best, but it wasnt that great. I dont really hold a grudge on her or anything. I've learned to deal with her.
Trying to put my feelings into words, I told my husband that it felt like I had been loaned out. borrowed. And now am being returned in a way.
I feel like I need to ground myself and force myself to recognize the contributions my a-mom did make in my life. But I honestly feel like I could walk away. Doesnt that sound horrible? Its caught me a bit off guard.

[sommer]

congratulations on the success of your search! Keep us posted on the progress of the pending reunion! It is such an exciting time - but you're right when you say you need to keep yourself grounded - Good luck!

[wilted rose]

Hi reweeves, this is indeed exciting news! I can see you are beaming at the prospect of meeting your bfamily, I understand. With respect to your afamily perhaps you can look upon the positive times. Unfortunately, I didn't have an a great adoption experience. However, in every relationship we encounter, we must ask ourselves, what did I learn about myself? As an adoptee, I choose to take away a few positives: She taught me kindness with the elderly( consequently I work with them now), simple things like love of gardening, and then continuing to educate herself (meaning in a scholarly manner), she returned to school in her fifties, after growing up in an extremely poor background. Unfortunately, for us there was no bond formed, but certainly, I take away some good things. A good friend once told me people come into your life for reasons and seasons. Enjoy your reunion! Keep us posted!
Rose

[carmel drake]

Congrautlations!! to you and your found family.I have heard that many adoptive families become closer after reunion, ya never know. I have also heard that some amoms find it difficult to become close to their adopted child, becasue they always know that the child belongs to another mother and that adopting doesn't alway feel "as if born to" As the adoption agencies has told them it would.

I wish you and your family a successfull relationship...cheers

[sliszm]

Definately enjoy your new found family and understand that everyone has a good and a not so good side.

Also, as I myself had to do, don't worry about your afamily and if you are that concerned, don't necessarily share too much about your reunion all at once with the afamily. It may be too much at once. Even if the events happen quickly, meter out the information in doses they can absorb.

Definately appreciate that they adopted you and raised you. B-mom couldn't for some reason. Grounding yourself in reality will happen when the euphoria wears off.

In the meantime, enjoy the high of success and emotions that come with it.

Congrats on finding them.

[rilo kiley]

Wereeves,

How's it going? Have you met your first family yet? How's it going with your amom? How're you feeing about everything now?

I hope all is well and look forward to hearing about your experience when you're ready to share more of it.

Best wishes.

[SarahandSam]

I told my husband that it felt like I had been loaned out. borrowed. And now am being returned in a way.

That is how I feel !! Borrowed and now, I need to be returned.

Now I need to slap some sense into my mum because she is still in some fantasy world about who we really are to each other.

[Irish Eyes 1229]

My a parents are gone now and I miss them. After they passed away, because of medical reasons, I searched and found my birthmother. Long story short, they want nothing to do with me and threatened a law suit if I contacted them again. BUT I also located one cousin and she and I are like sisters..twist is she is an adoptee too..I was tossed out by my birthmother and her sister adopted a girl...so...we aren't related by blood but we are in all other ways. As to the odd feeling of detachment from your afamily..don't worry about that. If your amom would not approve of this find then keep the two families seperate. My brothers, also adopted, don't know I searched and found a cousin and I intend to keep it that way. Neither of them are interested in searching anyway. So I have my two worlds and am happy with it this way.

[wereeves]

update long overdue.

i just got back a week ago from my first face 2 face with them...all but my sister. it was painful. it was rewarding. i miss them terribly. it feels unjust that i had to meet them and leave them so soon. how could i not want to be with them. i am ready to move. i dont know how to explain that to my adoptive family. they would keel over if...when.....

i was welcomed. my mom there say she feels more healed than ever...complete. i do to.

i still feel like they could back out at any moment though...despite their reassurances. can we say trust issues, people?