[sondance]

To those who have been in reunion with birthmom. How did you feel after meeting your bmom and after reunion, did you draw back or show anger. Was the reunion a rocky one and are you in relationship with your bmom today? I'm a bmom and I'm just trying to find some answers to my situation and hoping that you could provide me with some help.

[Juscuz]

Sondance, did you just have a reunion with your bson? How do you think it went? I'm curious too because I myself just had a reunion as well. My bson and I spent 4 glorious days and nights together, but I'm quite sure it's just as overwhelming for them as well.

Yes, this is a great question, I 'd like to hear more as well.

Anyone?

[chris1965]

I recently met my bmom after about a year and a half searching. Our first meeting was really wonderful in everyway; we talked like we've always known each other and we look quite a bit alike. She lives about a 6-hour drive from me, so we swapped emails afterwards. We met again about a month later and it was after that visit we both really 'clicked' with each other. Her and I have quite a bit in common and I think that has really helped. She plans on coming up again around the 1st of the year and I plan on her meeting my wife and kids.

So far things have been really good yet modest... I've made sure I haven't put any pressure on her and allow her space since I'm the one who dropped in on her life. That's why I tend to just email rather than call. I do think we've learned in a surprisingly short time how to open up to each other and thus gain a common goal on where we want to take this relationship, but I do wonder if I should be more 'active' with her. I don't feel any anger with her... I'm thrilled that I not only found her but, that she also wanted to meet me.

Chris

[Juscuz]

Aw Chris that is so touching. It's interesting you mention that YOU are taking it slow with her since you were the one searched for her. It really seems like you are thinking of her feelings during this process.

My son and I have hit it off quite well before our first meeting so he kinda knew my personality, which is like his. But I'm the one thinking I have no right to interfere in his life (he's 23) because I'm the one who placed him. I would love more than anything for him to get more involved, but again that *guilt* thing - and just when I was doing so well with it......The guilt that the main reason I relinquished my son was so he could have a better life, which he by all means did, I don't ever want to take that away from his aparents, they are awesome. And I know, that I need to come to a place that it's okay to love 2 moms just different ways., and it's okay if he wants to *protect* his amom, but I don't want to be in competion with her. Does this make sense? I will give him all the space he needs, but at the same time I don't want him to think *okay, I've gotten my answers, had a reunion, and that's enough for me*, when I'm basking in the glow, and the rejection would be devastating.