[britnie87]

My name is Britnie and I am 16 years old. I was adopted soon after birth by my bfather's aunt. It was an open adoption so I have contact with my bparents and bfamily my whole life. I have a great relationship with my bfamily on my bmother's side. A year after my birth my little brother(who was adopted by different people) was born and my parents then split up. Since then my bmother has has one child who I spend time with in fact I spent thanksgiving week of 2003 at my bmother's home. It had been 2 years since I had seen my bdad when he came to see me Father's Day 2004. When I saw him 2 years ago he wanted me to come to his house 1 1/2 hours away. At the time I didn't think it was a good idea. I was 14 and didn't think I would be able to handle it at the time. My little brother who was 13 went and stayed with him. When he came back that next week he told me that he had a great time and that it felt really great to spend time with our bdad. My amom tried so hard to get me to go spend time with him 2 years ago but when I told her I didn't think it was the right time she understood. Now that I am older(not alot older but still) I feel like it is the right time. Over the past 2 years my amom has kept in contact with my bfather. When he came to see me on father's day he asked if I wanted to come spend time with him I thought it was a great idea. I knew that it was exactly what I needed. The strangest thing was that my amother wouldn't let me go. She told me that if my afather would agree then I could go. He said no and became almost violent so I let it go. My bfather then said that he would be back next weekend and bring my little sister and we would all go camping he said where we thought about going but wasn't sure. My amom agreeed but the next day on the phone I over heard her tell someone that she was going to call the place he said we were going just to make sure we were there. I didn't understand why she wanted to spy on us. It really made my upset and nervous. It seems like something is telling me she dosen't want me to spend time with my bdad. What can I say to her to make her understand that this is a good idea? SOMEONE HELP!

[prose3a]

I'm an Aparent, so I'll try my hand at it. Just tell her the truth. You want to know your Bdad. Just simple. You don't like being spied on and I think she should give you an explanation. Don't be confrontational or angry; just tell her what you need from her.

[britnie87]

Thanks alot for your reply and I will keep this all in mind. I can only hope that over the next 2 years she will understand more and allow me to spend time with him and maybe I won't have to wait until I am 18.