[martin_p]

Found out that I had a brother 2 years older than me and he was placed for adoption. I grew up an only child, and didn't find out about this until I was 34 years old, 7 years ago. My father had passed away and mom was ill and she told me. Well I had the range of emotions mad, sad, depressed, excited... Anyway a year later mom died. After dealing with the death of my parents, I thought searching for my brother, but didn't know where to start. I searched a little bit on the internet based on what little information I had, but didn't find anything.

This past year my wife started a new job, and she was talking with a co-worker over lunch and they got on the subject of adoption, my wife told the co-worker my story and the co-worker said she had a friend that did adoption searches. My wife told me about it and got the information about the friend. I was still not sure if I wanted to make contact, what if he didn't know he was adopted, what if he didn't want to meet me, All the what ifs kept me up nights. Finally about 7 months ago, I contacted this friend via email and gave her my information and asked if she thought she could help. She responded the next day saying she would love to help and asked for some more information. I didn't have much to go on, gave her what I had. The next day she called me and asked me a couple of specific questions about adoption agency (catholic charities) again not knowing much, only the birth month and year and location, which I wasn't positive about. I told her I was off to work if she had questions just emailed as I couldn't be reached once at work. On my way to work about 20 minutes later my cell phone rings, she says I have found the adoption file. This was less than 48 hours after I had contacted her. The file was at Catholic Charities. She gave me the contact information for the case worker to talk with. I contacted this person and asked about how to proceed. They sent me a packet of information and within a week I had returned it along with copies of required documents.

About 4 weeks later I had not heard anything, I was going on vacation so I emailed the case worker before I left, wondering if there was any new information... no reply... a week later I came home from vacation and still nothing. The next day I get an email from another case worker at catholic charities, 1 sentence. I think we have found your brother, thats all I can tell you right now. 2 more weeks went by, and finally an email saying they have made contact and my brother would like to communicate by letter with me, they asked me to write him a letter. Explaining who I am, the reason for the search and why I want to meet him. It was a hard letter to write, I'd never had any siblings, wasn't sure how to act, and who is this person I am writing to. I struggled through it. I sent the letter to catholic charities via email and they forwarded it. Then about a week later I get a response letter. After the letter exchange, I replied with another letter and we exchanged contact information. I found out he lives 35 miles from me. We set up a meeting in July, we met at a restaurant for dinner. The meeting was awkward, we made small talk, but it was a step. We talked on the phone a couple more times, and since have become good friends in these past 5 months.

We've since visited each other's home and our families are becoming close. It only took 1 day to find him, and 2 months for the process, I was lucky. I now have a big brother, we have alot in common, I found out he knew he was adopted and he has a brother who was also adopted. We grew up in a similar situation, our dads were farmers and moms were care givers. His adopted father passed away and mom is ill with alzheimers disease. I am glad I searched for him and found him, but wish I hadn't waited 7 years.

[sum1son]

Hi Martin!! How awesome is that - to find your brother Sorta being flip-flopped with you (me being the adopted one) I imagine he must be pretty amazed with this too, to be found by you, his bio bro

[Dickons]

Martin,

Welcome to the forum...amazingly quick search. And it took a lot of guts to search and write a letter...good for you.

Wonderful story. I wish you the best of times getting to know your new family.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[dawn3755]

Hi Martin...your story sounds so much like mine...I found out about my brother about 11 years ago,,,and then started searching...so for about 8 years I searched on this site, I had a date of birth and a name and still couldnt find him..then i decided to post another thread last week, and a week later i recieved an email from my brother.(his ex-wife seen the posting and called him to tell him).and after talking, it is him..it is all just so overwellming..he lives about an hour and 1/2 away..we are gonna meet for the first time this Sunday...I am so excited..I hope it all goes well....and I am so happy for you take care Dawn

[txrnr]

Very cool Martin. Glad it's going so well!

[martin_p]

Thanks for the kind thoughts. I am still pretty excited about my brother.

Good luck on your meeting this weekend Dawn. The first meeting for meet was so exciting, and yet awkward. There seemed to be a let down after it was over. But you just have to work through it.