[crick]

Aww Raven...you and that dang guilt. Knock it off! People can do some actual typing once in awhile. It's good exercise! LOL!

Kidding! Sweet of you to come back with the link.

[KittyMay]

I agree that not acting on the letter was not the correct thing to do. There are many emotional things that can happen in life and if we choose to ignore them, then we cannot blame anyone but ourselves. Inaction can sometimes cause more problems than action. While I feel for the lady, I think she stands to have a MILLION reasons why she should blame the state.

[never_good_enough]

Has it been revealed the content of the letter this woman received from the state asking for her consent?

Many legal actions in the fine print state a lack of response will be considered consent. Happens every day with traffic tickets.If you don't pay when you get it and don't show for court you are pleading guilty.

And wow about the statement: I'd be disgusted If I was the product of rape. Jeeeeez How can you take on the guilt of the rapist? Thought that went by the wayside long ago when folks used to say "Well maybe she deserved to be raped, she was a tease, she's just lying get back at this guy. Wow. Thanks for the idea of that for all of us that don't know the circumstances of our conception. Another knife in us. Now I might be disgusting on top of all the other things.

[evansmum]

DID the daughter get full disclosure from the agency, or did she get her non-id and take it further and find her biomom on her own?? The article didn't say....

[zxczxcasdasd]

Thanks for the idea of that for all of us that don't know the circumstances of our conception. Another knife in us. Now I might be disgusting on top of all the other things.

Don't think for a second that the one statement- made by someone who is not an adoptee and has no clue what it really does or would feel like- should bear any consideration on how you feel about yourself or any adoptee's origins. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone else who thinks that sad or awful circumstances of conception have any affect on an individual's worth, value, beauty or goodness. You are what YOUR life has been, not what anyone else's was.

[lacymarie]

This article really struck a nerve. I spent years looking for my bsisters and mom. Rejection is the worst. Sometimes, I wonder about people.
I assume that the daughter is distraught over the case. This could crush her. Everyone speaks of adoption like its a magic wand that waves off the fact that there is a child involved. Yes, I feel really bad about the circumstances that surrounded the bmom and the baby that was born. But goodness, either way, how can you over look someone who was the ultimate result of this. The poor girl HAS to be hurting right now. It wasn't the mom's fault, but its not the child's fault either. To ignore someone's right, that's just ridiculous. The part that makes the rape HORRIBLE is that you should be REQUIRED to HAVE to offer medical information if a baby is conceived. I don't feel that it gives anyone the right to IGNORE the situation and place the burden on someone who is down right innocent.

[kmcrab]

Wait a minute....This woman is so 'traumatized" that her supposed bdaughter shows up on her door step and she just wants to forget due to an alleged rape, BUT she is okay having the whole world know her story vs just her family and bdaughter?? I guess she could think of a million reasons why that is not sooo traumatic.

If she wins, I wonder if she will donate some of the $$ to rape victims or rape crisis centers??

Being related to someone like her is what I would call disgusting.

If anyone wonders, I do think that a little more tact could have been used by bdaughter initiating contact and that the woman could have had the decency to respond to the first letter from the state.

[California_Chris]

Well, this lady went through a horrible experience AND it was 20+ years ago. I would hope that the passage of time would have helped her separate herself from it, but I guess not.

It had never ocurred to this woman that her child might come looking for her? She never thought about what she might say?

The thing I hate about all these sealed records is it's sort of a revisionist approach to history. What's so wrong with just looking at life clearly and saying, "Okay, here's what happened..." She doesn't owe this young woman a place in her life, considering the circumstances, but she does owe her the opportunity to learn where she came from, who her parents were, etc. It's not like this broken blossom birth mother is the only person involved in the scenario.

[thanksgivingmom]

Horrible experiences, no matter HOW LONG AGO can have lifelong ramifications.

And while it may seem "convenient" to some that she was traumatized by this event, yet able to persue a court case - it COULD BE that she wants to make a point so that this doesn't happen to other women and further traumatize them.

Unless you've been there, I think it's impossible to judge the effects of rape trauma.

[wishfulthinker]

Sorry but I still don't get it. That is her child - her own flesh and blood. As a mother myself, I would think that it would mean more to her to know that her child is okay and to know who her child is than to revamp a rape that happened decades ago. I would think that giving birth and relinquishing your baby would be more traumatic than being raped. It's time for everyone to stop hiding behind secrets and lies that surround adoption and begin speaking the truth. I just don't understand how any mother could forsake her own child under any circumstance. We are no longer talking about a baby, we are talking about an adult who deserves to know where he/she came from. We are talking about a human being who most likely has children who deserve to know their heritage and medical background. This whole lawsuit is a slap in the face to all of the birth mothers and adoptees who are struggling to overcome the secrets and unseal records. There is no shame in searching and getting answers. There is no shame in being a victim of rape. What is shameful is the particular birth mother's actions. If she really was dead-set against having her information given out, then she should have signed the papers the state sent to her rather than doing nothing and then taking legal action. Now she is victimizing not only her own child, but all of the rest of us who are attempting to search and unseal records. I just don't understand how anyone could defend her actions.

[CRAZY_WOMAN]

Maybe in her mind the man that raped her was an evil person that got her pregnant because he raped her,So since her daughter is a part of him,She will never love her and she will always consider her daughter evil in her eyes.

[Velisa]

When I read the article I just thought "Why didn't she sent a reply letter?" After all, the letter came from the Division of Youth and Family Services, it was not a letter from the daughter herself.
Since we live in a society that sues for everyhting this was just another one for the list of "peculiar" law sues.
I am now curious: did she get some money?