[Bethewarrior]

Thanks to all of you who have helped on my journey. I am meeting my bparents tomorrow for the first time. We have spoken on the phone several times already and I am very excited.

Help! My amom sounded weird on the phone today. I have tried to keep her in the loop and call her with updates every day. She was very supportive and nothing has happened until today, when I heard something strange in her voice/tone.

While I don't want to hurt her, I am already on edge myself emotionally and can't deal with guilt right now.

What can I do ASAP to reassure my mom that she IS my mom and nothing will change that. She lives in another state so everything has to be on the phone.

22 hours until meeting my Birthparents!



Thanks!

Steve

[snuffie]

Wow, can't wait to hear about your reunion.

I think its only natural that your amom may have sounded a bit different on the phone. She may be happy for you but have all of the understandable insecurities too.

You can call her and tell her just how much she means to you and how much you love her and reassure that that won't change. There are a lot of us here on the forums who have reunited and I am one of them. I can tell you that it has not changed the way I feel about my aparents at all.

After your reunion, you can keep your amom in the "loop" - maybe she will want to meet your bparents too someday.

Have a wonderful reunion!

Snuffie

[Bethewarrior]

Thanks for your thoughts. You are right. No matter what, I'm sure she can't help feeling a bit insecure about this whole thing. The truth is, I have become closer to my amom in this whole process. She says she does want to meet my bparents so I am hoping that after they talk, she'll feel more comfortable.

[wishfulthinker]

Honesty is the best policy. Simply tell her how you feel. Tell her as you posted that she IS your mom and nothing will ever change that. I'm sure that your emotions are going crazy right now, and you're probably not the only one experiencing the craziness (amom, and bmom surely are too).


Just be honest with yourself and with the others involved. And remember, there are a lot of us out here who would do just about anything to be in your shoes - waiting to meet our bparents tomorrow, so be grateful that you are about to get some long-awaited answers and hopefully some peace in your heart.

Best wishes.

[Blessed2x.]

Best wishes on your meeting tomorrow! Very exciting, emotional, and, for me, it was surreal too!

Reunion has made me value everyone in my life all the more. Perhaps you'll find this is true too, and can that with your amom.

Good luck!

[Bethewarrior]

Thank you! Yes, ultimately, I am being given a tremendous blessing tomorrow. Good advice! Steve

[Bethewarrior]

Thanks!

Yes, as I describe my amom to my bparents, I hear myself saying things that I have never really articulated and I am growing in my appreciation of HER sacrifices with my adoption as well. Just hours away now!

[JustPeachy]

Best wishes to you! Keep us posted for sure. I hope to one day reunite with my bson AND meet his parents. I know I will be having all sorts of emotions about this and also worrying that his parents, esp. his mom, will feel "left out." I don't want that to happen, but it's only natural for amoms to be nervous about reunion, too. Try not to feel like she is "guilting" you, but rather more likely has unexpected emotions that have come up and reassure her that she cannot be replaced, because, truth is, she can't.

[finallyamom0310]

I can only imagine how your AMom is feeling. She will definately need some reassurance from you but make sure to enjoy visiting with your BMom too. She will not want to know that she is taking away from that. Can I suggest sending her some flowers with a card that says something along the lines of your original post? Or an special something that really shows your feelings not just says your feelings? Material things are not necessary but the "actions speak more than words" therory may help her to feel more secure. Just my opinion.

[Bethewarrior]

Dear Finallyamom0310,

Flowers are a great idea! Never thought of that (says the GUY!) but I can see how that could really show her I am thinking about her every step of the way.

[finallyamom0310]

Glad I could help then. Just keep us all posted on your visit. I really hope all goes well with your BMom.