[MMcpadden]

My birthmother remembered on her own.

[katlyn]

My first contact with my DD was a letter enclosed inside of a birthday card right before her 20th birthday. I, like many other firstmoms on here, remember that day down to the last detail. I not only remember the day, I remember the time and I even remember what time they brought her in and let me hold her for the first time.
I cannot fully understand how a firstmom could forget, but I can comprehend how a mind would block an event in ones life that is as life altering as that.

[Jo Ellen]

My bmom remembered my birthday on her own and it thrilled me to the point of tears because she did. Just a few weeks after our first contact we were discussing my bdads birthday and I asked her when her birthday was and she told me. Then she said and you have a birthday next week.... which I did. When I began crying she asked me why I was crying and I told her... because you remembered. She said of course I remember I always have and how could anyone forget. I told her I know of some adoptees whose bmoms hadn't remembered and she told me she had always remembered my birthday. Not only had she remembered but I also received a birthday card in the mail on my birthday from my bparents.
What I have learned from reading and from talking with bmoms is that they don't forget it is that the pain is so great and some bury so much that they don't recall it all so readily.

[gigglessa]

my mother did not remember the day, just the month. She gave up my brother, who was also born on the same month. So she said she got them confused. Possible I guess.

[sal]

My bmom remembered the day...but didn't remember much about my birth...she had 4 other children after me and she too said that she got them mixed up. I think that she had locked things away about me because they were too painful to remember...The more time that has passed now that we are in reunion.. the more she is remembering. She shared one memory of her pregnancy with me... she went to prom when she was about 7 mos pregnant..(nobody knew about the pregnancy)..and I kicked and kicked and kicked when she was dancing.. she was SO afraid that they guy she was with would feel me!.. lol With now knowing all the pieces that had been missing before in my life...I finally feel more "real"...and now am at peace...sal

[MeScorp]

At my first reunion meeting with her, her very first question to me was when my birthday was. I wasn't given up for adoption as a baby, I was 2 1/2...so I can tell you that it not only crushed me at the time of my reunion with her, but almost 20 years later, it still kills me to know she never even remembered her own child's birthday.

[Mil]

her very first question to me was when my birthday was.

Are you sure of why she was asking you that? Was she possibly verifying info to be sure of who you were? Or was the fact that you were mother/child already definitely confirmed? Just thinking it could be a possibility!

[MeScorp]

I wish that was the case, but the fact that she still asks me after almost 20 years has me saying, no. I've talked with her about it more than once, and all of those conversations confirm that it wasn't just for verification.

[RavenSong]

I always remembered my son's birthday, right down to the hour and minute listed on his original birth certificate. For many years afterwards, I would wake up in the middle of the night (the morning of his birthday) at the same time I woke up when I went into labor.

I think several things may be happening with birthmoms who don't remember their children's birthdays. One, of course, is mentally blocking out the memories in order to deal with the grief. The second reason has to do with anesthetics that were commonly used from the 1940's through the 1970's. Many women were given what was called "twilight sleep". This was a combination of scopolamine (an amnesiac) and either morphine or Demerol. Many women who received scopolamine back in those years have difficulty remembering labor and delivery...

[dpen6]

My Bmom did not remember the correct birthdate for me.

I honestly did not get all upset over it...it was more like....midly hurt. I got over it very quickly because I knew the turmoil of her life really made the actual date uniimportant...not that my birth was unimportant to her because she never forgot that.

i really do understand how she could have forgotten the actual date.

[shell50]

Been in reunion with bmom for 5 months now, she told me she always thought of me on my birthday(I am 51)but, when I asked what time I was born she could not remember,too traumatic for her. She is great,I am blessed.

[Tazer]

My daughter was actually born on New Years Day so even if I'd have wanted to I couldn't have! Not only that, but I also remember the exact time as well as all of her vital stats.
When we reunited she was shocked at the amount of info I remembered or even knew. She shared that she thought once I had her the hospital staff just whisked her away without telling me anything. I also had several photos of the two of us taken days after her birth before I left the hospital. Tracy