[ewilley]

To start my story, I myself was adopted at birth 1968 in the State of Ohio where all records are sealed. I had wonderful adoptive parents that were unable to have children, only to find out a year after adopting me they were pregnant with another son.

I was raised with a loving, caring family never knowing I was adopted until the age of 12. I only discovered this as I began to grow many of my features were very different than my adoptive family. One thing that always stood out was my height, lets just say I was always around to change the light bulbs for everyone as my entire family is on the short side. The great thing my adoptive (mom & dad) parents never hid anything from me when I asked questions. They had very limited info regarding my birth parents, all they new is they were both in college at the time of my birth, thats really all they knew.

Its so difficult for a child going through life not knowing who you truly are, doing family tree reports in school, answering when someone asks where did you get those eyes, that hair, long legs, etc. You really have empty spot inside not knowing if you are Italian, German, English, etc. For many years I assumed I was Italian do to my looks and love of Italian food.

Moving on the the search, for many years I always wanted to find my bparents with my adoptive parents backing me. Well one thing leads to another and more important things come along, like marriage and a baby.

My wife and I had discussed doing a search but never followed through with it as the career was demanding etc. Then we had our first child that was born premature, all of a sudden I am being asked questions about my medical backgroud to help save my daughter. I had no answers for the doctors, I knew nothing of my bparents medical. Thank God our daughter survived and is still perfect, but this caused me to begin my search and hire a third party search.

After hiring the search organization within 3 weeks they had found my bmother, along with supporting docs to verify. It was the night of the call, the search company called my bgrandmother asking for my bmothers location, number etc. They then contacted my bmother, she was blown away as she herself was searching for me as well. I then gave her a call we talked for hours, she about peed her pants she was so excited. She had been watching a TV show regarding adoptee searches and had been in contact with them to find me.

I then asked about my birthfather, she had given me his name, was not sure where he was located, but she did knwo his mom and dad and where they lived. We did a search and I started calling a list of names until I reached the right person. It was my bgrandfather I was speaking to on the phone, I asked if his son was there. He responds no is he in some kind of trouble? I answered quickly on my feet......no this is bob from his college from 1968 and I was trying to get in contact with him. He again asks is he in trouble...and says I know he got into a little trouble in college with marijuana back then and his mother took care of everything as I was overseas in the military at the time. I replied again no he is not in any trouble (while laughing inside) but could you please take down my name and number and have him give me a call. He responds saying he sure will, as my bdad calls him every Sunday and he will pass the message.

Well, the following Sunday I get this call from my bfather, asking whats this about. I ask him do you remember Oct 20 1968 ? He says all my God I have been looking for you. Apparently he had provided info to one of his College friends that became an Attorney to search for me and they had no luck. He says I was always worried some 6' 4" guy would show up at my door sometime and punch me in the mouth. I shared I would not do such a thing, we then talked for a very long time.

Apparently he had an accident and was unable to have any children besides me. My bmother never had any additional either. I was the only child for the two of them. They never married and after my birth they completed College in Ohio and then split up and moved to different states completing additional colleges courses.

My bfather soon after came to meet my along with our new child. My bmother came to visit me as well a few months later. I spoke with them every week for hours on end, they sent me all kinds of pictures and family info for each side. In fact they even met up with each other for lunch when my bfather was on a business trip close to my bmother. It was the first time they had seen each other in 30 years.

After talking with them every week on the phone I began to discover who I was, where I got my nose, my eyes, my hair. I also discovered my personality and thought patterns. I know I was raised by a very loving family and I still love them and know them as Mom & Dad but I could start to see the real me. My adoptive family for generations had always earned their living as laborers (nothing wrong with that ) my bparents earned theirs as non laborers in white collar positions going back generations. Its hard to explain but there is a difference, regardless of the environment you are raised in I feel your inside mechanics and thoughts etc are hereditary. It had now came full circle, I was now whole. Now let me go back to school and do the family tree, I now know who I am and no longer have to lie on the family tree projects (that is how I felt in school) I can now explain who I am and where I come from in heritage.

My bfather would even fly in for Holidays with my family and my Mom & Dad. After eight years I received a call that my bmother was in the hospital and things did not look good. I immediately packed up and went five states away to the hospital. I was able to spend sometime with her minutes before she passed away. Her sister had told me that my bmother had told her now that we had reunited everything she wanted had been fulfilled in her life. They all said she hung on until I was there at the hospital with her. A year and a half later I was unable to reach my bfather for our normal Sunday call. I called authorities in his state and they called to tell me they had found him deceased.

I share the later part of this only to prompt you to do your search today, dont put it off until tomorrow. I had eight wonderful years with my bparents, it made them whole, it made me whole...I now know who I am. I can now share with my kids who they are and help them on the family tree reports. I am so lucky to have Great parents and wonderful bparents that made a great decision to have me adopted. I would not have had the wonderful child hood I had if they were to keep me, I know that now.....they wanted what was best for me and did the right thing.

And by the way I did find out I am not Italian, but Native American and a little Irish.......still love Italian food though.

Good luck on your search and I hope you have a great reunion as I did. Dont wait, be persistent and resourceful and remember to pray as God will answer prayers.

[JustPeachy]

That was a truly heartwarming story, and I thank you for sharing it. I am sorry both your birthparents are deceased, but happy that you found them and had those 8 years to share with them.

[dpen6]

ewilley,

I agree with peachy...it is a wonderful story, poignant, bitter sweet, and I think you touched upon every good reason for an adoptee to search.

Thank you!

I hope you are doing ok with all of this. I so agree that finding does help in a big way to put all the peieces together. I have also come to reaoze that it doesn't matter how old a person is the need for some is very strong to find their roots. I have read stories of 70 yo adoptees looking.....