[utbirthmom4-12-83]

My heart is soooo heavy today. I can't believe shes 25 and doesn't search/google her own birthdate. Do other adoptees google their dob? I keep thinking something is amiss in the information she has about herself, about her birthday, or about her birthfamily. I don't want to attach myself to her. I just want her to know that she is adopted because I did and do care about her.
Today I begin another year.
April 12 1983 St Benedicts Hospital Ogden Utah

[Jinxie64]

Originally Posted by utbirthmom4-12-83

My heart is soooo heavy today. I can't believe shes 25 and doesn't search/google her own birthdate. Do other adoptees google their dob? I keep thinking something is amiss in the information she has about herself, about her birthday, or about her birthfamily. I don't want to attach myself to her. I just want her to know that she is adopted because I did and do care about her.
Today I begin another year.
April 12 1983 St Benedicts Hospital Ogden Utah

Hi,

My heart aches for you when I saw your post! I too am a Birthmother who gave up her daughter after 6 months through catholic charities in 1980. I had been searching for her for so very many years. I found absolutely no indication she was even interested in finding me.

By the very grace of God an angel came into our lives and intervened. I found her and made the call that would change my life forever. Not only did she want to find me as much as I wanted to find her, but she wanted to get to know me, our family!

On Sat. April 13th I met my incredibly beautiful daughter. I am so overwhelmed with emotion right now!

It's incredibly sad that current laws, adoption agencies etc. make it very difficult if not impossible for us to find each other. The costs associated with the search can be out of reach.

Hang in there and know that it will take time, but can and will happen. BTW I am forwarding some info to you on someone that may be able to help you.

Hugs, Jeanne

[Dickons]

I always checked the newspaper on my birthday...but that was before the internet...

Kind regards,
Dickons

[Nicole28]

From the perspective of an adoptee - - how do you know that she is not searching for you?

Also, I have Googled my DOB, and there was no useful information as a result.

She may be involved in some kind of search effort. All you can do is continue to put your information out there, too. Are you registered with the Utah state registry? Here's a link to the Utah Dept. of Health/Vital Stats website:

About the Office of Vital Records and Statistics in Utah.

Click on the second link that says "Mutual-Consent Voluntary Adoption Registry" and it will redirect you to a printable PDF file that you can print, fill out and mail in. You absolutely must register if you have yet to do so!!

Here's a link to another registry:

Utah Adoption Registry

And more info from the state:

Adoption records

Maybe that will get you started!

[echox]

I've googled my own bdate and found no useful info. Who know's if the bdate they give us (adoptees) is even correct?

[jrainbow]

Another adoptee. I googled my dob and found nothing. I am registered here and found another person registered here with my dob but nothing on me in the 1st 2 pages. I know my dob is right because I am reunited.

Just an FYI, in my case, I had absolutely no interest in searching at age 25 - there was so much going on in my life and I loved my afamily very much. It wasn't until after my daughter was born that I seriously looked at searching. Everyone is completely different in this but I don't think you can assume anything. Your daughter and mine are about the same age and I know there is a lot going on in my daughter's life at this time.

[ReOcB42008]

I am an adoptee who is registered with ALL the reunion sites and agencies (I think! ; O ) but do not actively search as I don't want to interfere with my bmom's life. Figure if she is interested, would have registered with search agencies or sites. Am 50 as of Feb of this year and no "bites" yet. : ( Good luck and keep loving your birthdaughter! PJ/MJM (bn)

[Jinxie64]

ReOcB4,

You may be surprised as it may be that your birthmother isn't inyernet savvy. I suspect it is more likely than you very well may relaize. I wish the best for you and hope someday that your dream will come true for you.

I am loving her and we're enjoying getting to know each other. I think what makes it easier is where we are in our lives at this time. I am incredibly grateful. She has wonderful parents that love and adore her. She's had a wonderful life which was the point of the adoption.

Jinxie

[Mockingbird]

ReOcB42008, your mother may feel that she would be interfering in YOUR life by searching for you. That is how I felt. I was told that I had no right to ever look for my child.

I did not post on the internet--but I did frequently search for postings that matched the date and place of birth. However, as Jinxie64 said, your mother may be uncomfortable with using a computer and not even be aware that you are open to contact from her.

I never found anything posted by my child--but last year he found me. He got the original paperwork and searched for my name on the internet and called me. I am SO grateful and happy that he did!

[ReOcB42008]

Thanks Mocking and Jinxie - have registered with mail registries also - where if she had registered too they would write both of us and ask if we still wanted to be reunited. Adoptive "female parent" (did not want to be MY "mother" and was abusive in every way) told me that my birthmom promised her that she wouldn't "interfere" with me but I keep hoping she will register with either mail or internet search anyway. Probably won't ever happen but if she is STILL keeping her promise (after 50 years!) I have to assume she doesn't want contact. Heard she got married and had a family so probably wants to just put me behind her - or wouldn't she realize her "promise" isn't valid anymore? PJ/MJM

[Mockingbird]

ReOcB42008, if I had any inkling that my child was being abused, I would have walked through fire to get him out of that situation. I'm betting that your mother thinks that you had a wonderful life and have no need for her. I was still "playing by the rules" after almost 38 years--and would have continued to do so had my son not contacted me.

[the4gs]

Originally Posted by utbirthmom4-12-83

My heart is soooo heavy today. I can't believe shes 25 and doesn't search/google her own birthdate. Do other adoptees google their dob? I keep thinking something is amiss in the information she has about herself, about her birthday, or about her birthfamily. I don't want to attach myself to her. I just want her to know that she is adopted because I did and do care about her.
Today I begin another year.
April 12 1983 St Benedicts Hospital Ogden Utah

Keep praying. If it is meant to be it will happen. I used to think the same thing about goggling the dob. But after my reunion with my b-son, I found out he does not even use computers because he is a farmer! But he was looking for me. We were very lucky! Good luck to you.

[feb171983]

Good luck in your search.

I, too, have googled my name. I've made a website for it and posted in all the registries that I could find. I have read hundreds and hundreds of threads on this site. And, nothing.

Your daughter may or may not be looking, but she's probably at least wondered about you.