[lost-ina-lonelyworld]

greetings from a newbie... bumper sticker version of my story.... lived 23 years believing father I grew up with (bad childhood, he was alcohlic/ gone half of life) was my biological... 6 years ago I found out he wasn't... after questioning mother, I found his name and address... I'm writing contact letter... and it's agonizing... so many emotions...
He has a business so I also think I found his e-mail on it's web site... but believe it's too personal an issue for that... so fedex will be my choice of delivery... for proof of delivery...
it's interesting to know after growing up and only child, I have a bigger family than I knew about... I pray for best case scenario that I'll be able to meet him...
so many guy/ father issues unresolved... pieces missing... I'd appreciate feedback from guys going thru/ gone thru this... thanks

I'm a drummer/ bassist/ writer/ vocals so I'll add those icons to the bottom of this post
I wish I could clone myself so I could do it all in a band situation... maybe members of my family I don't know about are also musically inclined...

[Jackiejdajda]

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step..
Use your intuition.. I think we know what to do..

My daughter is a singer in a band..

Jackie

[lost-ina-lonelyworld]

that is true.... the first step in writing letter has been made... today is the big day of 2nd step in mailing the letter... so much in 1 letter... so many emotions... 1 fedex package has so many emotions involved... I pray for a good response... I know the hardest part will be waiting for a response... but, that's out of my hands...

[Longtimewaiting]

As a bmom, I can imagine how you feel--but in reverse. I'll be thinking about you and praying for you.

[lost-ina-lonelyworld]

I've finally sent the letter and have strong reason to believe that my bfather personally received the letter... now, the waiting game... after doing some searching he may have been married for a while while while I was conceived and is still married so there may be some 'splaining to do that may rock his boat... because I really would like to meet him eventually... there are so many questions in my head and heart and a void that needs to be filled... I hate all these emotions...
I am thankful that it's not in my hands anymore and that my Heavenly Father is the only faithful one who I can always count on... whatever happens, it's in HIS hands... He will work it all out... I still hate this waiting and all the emotions...

[bprice215]

Very interesting post, so you are about to make contact with your biofather. Being a father myself I hope it works out for you. Best of luck to you.
bprice215

[Richard Justin]

I am a birth father. I searched for and found my son in 2001. We have been in a successful reunion ever since. We don't even refer to our relationship as a reunion any more. I share this just to give you the knowledge that we guys can and do succeed in reunions. Like you, I did what I could and then left the outcome in God's hands. I admire you for taking this initiative, and I'd be happy to share more of my experiences if you'd like.

Blessings!

Rich

[bprice215]

I am also a birth father and yes I'd like reading about your experince. Best of luck to you.
bprice215

[JustPeachy]

I still hate this waiting and all the emotions...

I'm on the other side of the waiting game--waiting to hear from my son. And I can't get that darned Tom Petty song out of my head ("The waiting is the hardest part....")!!!! It is not easy, but you took the first step and that is awesome. It takes a lot of courage to do that. I wish you all the best and hope you hear from your bdad soon.

[Richard Justin]

Hey there again, lost ina lonelyworld. Thinking back on my reunion experiences, I remembered that I took about six years to do all the preparation leading up to an actual search. That included some years of counselling and time to tell family and friends of my secret past. The point is that I determined that I would give my son the same amount of time to prepare to respond to me. Thankfully I didn't have to wait but about a week, but i told myself that I would not lose hope for six years if it took that long. So I'm suggesting to you to be patient with your bfather for at least as long as you took to prepare before sending your letter. Sound fair? If he responds sooner it's a bonus.

To bprice, I don't want to alter the topic of this thread away from Lost's issue, but if it's okay, I'll send you a private message with more of my story. You're also welcome to read my past entries (by clicking on my name).

Rich

[lost-ina-lonelyworld]

I got a certified letter from Connecticut where by Bfather is from... but it wasn't from him... it was from his attorney's office... the attorney that handled his estate... he died a few years ago from lung cancer... he smoked for over 40 years... THIS SUCKS!!!
I hate these emotions even more than the ones regarding waiting for a response letter... foreclosure of a dream... my wife lost her father a few months ago... now, I have no chance of talking or reuniting with mine... all because of some bull**** family secrets... don't tell John because he might get upset... what bull****... I'm even more upset having lost the chance to ever get to know 50% of who I am biologically... this sucks...
I had a dream a couple nights ago that my world was torn apart and was being rebuilt but I didn't like how that was going... now I understand what that means... while I never had or ever will have my b-father in my life... I do have faith in my heavenly father... that HE will make some sort of sense out of this awful mess... that He has some sort of purpose in all this... thanks for all your support and prayers...

[Richard Justin]

I'm so sorry to hear of your news, and I know you now have to add grieving to your already full plate of emotions. I hope you have an extended support system of friends and family who will stay beside you while you sort things out in your head and heart. Give yourself the gift of time to hurt and to heal. Perhaps one day you'll write the song that will reach the hearts of men who need to reunite with the children they've never known.

be strong, man, and know that there are others who care!

Rich

[firish16]

I am so saddened to read your story. I was rooting for you. I'm 23f adoptee myself. What you are going through now was my worst fear when I was searching. However, I think that things happen for a reason. I know you have so many questions in your heart that you feel you may never have answers to, but truth be told, I've made contact with my bmom and siblings and I may still never have answers either. In fact, only more questions have come of it. I am so sorry for the disappointment you are feeling, but if I were you, I would still explore. I think you are owed answers about why you are on this earth and who brought you into it. Don't stop seeking your biological father--you may still be able to find a way to know him.

I'm so sorry John.