[MyCatharsis]

If this post can help anyone save the emotions I have been going through along with my family, then I suppose it's worth it.

I started looking and posting here when my son turned 18, no actually 17. I came to read for support during the blue days.

I laid it all out for all to see, thinking this was the best tool for him to find me. I listed all the information he would ever need to know he had found me.

That was a HUGE mistake! I was contacted via these very forums by a young man who thought I could be his mother. He listed things and asked, could I possibly be your son? Of course over weeks I had asked a barrage of questions. The majority went unanswered, but the ones that were answered fit, and I believed my son had found me. Believing this I told my daughter, who is his 100% sister, I married his father and we are still married. My daughter emailed him immediately, so estatic that she found her big brother. We were overjoyed. Then things started seeming a bit fishy.

I started comparing the questions he answered, with the ones I had asked. I had asked things that I never posted here, and he never replied. He forgot which email address he had given me, so he contacted me thru here again. I just looked and he last logged on the 4th, and there are still 3 messages from me that he hasn't read.

But, here is my point. All the questions he answered were ones he could find the answers to here. So, I posted asking if there was anyway to edit thread posts that had been posted over the years. Sadly, that answer is no.

I think by asking for a DNA test, it scared him off. Many mothers are so willing to take everything at face value, they skip it. I am not one to lay down and play the victim. So please, beware when you first start searching for your children. Don't put too much information out there. I never thought it would turn around and bite me as it did, but sadly this is what happened.

Just please be careful.
LC <--who is still searching for her son born 3.21.86

[bigbertha]

Hi MyCatharsis,

I am so sorry for what happened to you and I do agree that posting too much information is not a good thing.

I found out through the internet that my fiance now husband at the time fathered a daughter about 38 years ago and I found out all the information through this site. He had kept this a secret from me for all these years. You can imagine my feelings and emotions as well. I was simply googling my married (very rare last name) for geneology purposes and there it popped up with the name of the child given to her at birth by the birth mother. I tracked the information to this site and the rest is history. As you can imagine, this has caused a significant rift in our marriage. He wants to keep this a secret, not wanting to tell our children and never wanting to make contact.

So, you see, how I do agree with you. I hope everything works out for you in the future.