[sharkbetty]

I'm 40, been loking for Bfamily for long time. Just made contact with Bmom's sister, and have been emailing for 3 weeks. She is in her 70's, and seems sweet and kind, but gives me conflicting info on Bmom. Says she told Bmom about me, and Bmom wants nothing to do with it - which I am perfectly OK about. Afraid aunt is harrassing Bmom. Afraid I am causing too much trouble. Seems like a lot of tragedy surrounding me. Won't say beans about Bdad. I have 3 half-siblings - one that knows about me. I have 5 cousins, 3 that know about me. I repeadetly invite all relatives to contact me via emails to aunt - but have only heard from aunt. don't want to push it. i have sent photos, and i supposedly look exactly like sister. aunt has not yet sent photos. frustrated. what to do? don't want to push. not at all angry or resentful about adoption - just curious.

[InBlindFaith]

Do you have an address for your Birthmom? If you can get that I would send a letter and include a few pictures of you. You will never know for sure until you hear from your Birthmother.

[snuffie]

I agree. I would try to make contact with your bmom. Families can be "funny" sometimes. Sub plots,undercurrents. I'm not saying this is true in all cases but definitely in some. I hate to mention this but do you know for sure that there have been no emails for you if they are going through your aunt?
Do you know if your aunt has a good relationship with your bmom? Not just from what your aunt says but from your own knowledge? You are hearing from only a single member of the family and there may be another "side".

I contacted some bcousins for instance. One was very horrible to me and said that no one in her family wanted contact from me or to know about me. BUT her sister DOES want contact from me. There are more things going on the family than was evident at first.

I wish you much happiness and hope that things work out the best possible way for you and your bfamily.

Snuffie

[sharkbetty]

There's definitely some family estrangement here. Says her sister is in and out of her life. The aunt helped to raise my siblings, but is no longer in contact with them. I don't have Bmom's address or name - but I do have ideas. I promised Baunt I would hold off in trying to contact Bmom as she does not wish to have contact. No hard feelings here, I totally respect that.

I'm going to believe all this for now, and give it a bit more time. Baunt is going to big family reunion this weekend, so after exchanging about 20 emails, I suspect she will be talking about me to at least someone - I hope.

Thanks for advice - am in wierd, unknown place. Thank you!

[MakDknife75]

Time is against you here.... Since you found someone and know thier name, hire a PI and get the bmom's contact info. If you want, the PI can make first contact with bmom for you.

There is a chance, bmom has no idea you made contact. There is of course a chance she waants nothing to do with you (for now).

A PI can professionally make contact and report back to you with her REAL answers and intentions.

Since you know the person's name, working with a PI should not cost more than a few hundreed dollars....

right now you're getting all your info through a filter and hanging on every typed word, over thinking, interpretting, analizing... etc... I know what that is like...

Hire a PI and make direct contact with bmom - you'll know for sure, if you want to know, that is... Good luck!!!!!