[mumofone]

Richard, thank you for sharing your story. It was very beautifully written.

My DH is in reunion with his birthparents for about 12 years now. Like you, he had no desire to search for them. I tried to convince him to search, but he just wasn't interested. He didn't want to disrupt either his adoptive family or his birthfamily. As it turned out, his birthparents did eventually marry.

His birthparents actually located him. It has worked out great.

I am the mom to 3 children through adoption. I am grateful that my children will always know everything with regard to their adoption.

Thanks again for sharing.

I wish you much peace and happiness.

[jrainbow]

Richard, your story touched me. Even though I had a marvelous adoptive family, there was still a hole I didn't even know I had until I met my birthmother in June 2007. I had registered but had not actively searched because I didn't want to interfere with her life. A friend of hers found me. The overwhelming part to me is that she does love me and always has. That is astonishing to me because I had such an impact on her life -for more than 50 years.

The first thing I received from her along with pictures of her and my birthdad was a belated birthday card. I had no idea Hallmark even made a card like this - but it is a letter to my daughter on her birthday. "There is a place in my life shaped like you. Before you came, I did not even know it was there. But afterward, I knew I had always had it - this quiet and waiting space in the middle of my heart that you, and only you, could fill. And even more than the day you came into my world, I love you. "

Congratulations on your reunion ... and enjoy that unconditional love. May we all learn from this and pass that same kind of love to our children.

Jill

[richardcp]

Thanks Jill. I think we both feel much of the same stuff. One of the moments when I first spoke to my mother was when she told me that she always thought about me on my birthday. I almost couldn't handle how that made me feel. To know that she was thinking about me on my birthday was just unbelievable.
Ya, unconditional love is something unique. It's nice to know what it is now.
~rcp

[jmsa]

Richard, I'm in tears after reading your story. Please write a book. Your writing is just beautiful.

Jenny

[richardcp]

Originally Posted by jmsa

Richard, I'm in tears after reading your story. Please write a book. Your writing is just beautiful.

Jenny

Thanks Jenny. After all the feedback here, maybe I'll write something else.

[janiej]

Originally Posted by richardcp

Thanks Jenny. After all the feedback here, maybe I'll write something else.

PLEASE DO !!!!!! You speak from the heart, and it is very evident in your writing.

Speaking for myself here...you don't know how it warms my heart to read what you and the others have written about how you have felt since meeting your mothers.

Though my son isn't "vocal" about his feelings in any of this reunion.....I certainly hope he feels at least just a LITTLE of what you have all written.

[bashfulchio]

Richard,

I loved your story. I was so happy to hear about the positiveness you have found in your adoption. My brother and I are both adopted , but have handled it differently. He has had the anger towards his adoption. He is getting better though. I too watched Antwone Fisher..and it made me want to actively search for my bparents. It truly moved me.

best of luck.

bashful

[LiquidGlass]

Thanks for sharing you story. My Son and I have been reunited after 32 years and enjoying a wonderful relationship. It funny but the first movie that he had me watch was Antone Fisher and our first Thanksgiving was pretty emotionally for both of us. But it is funny, there are times that we feel that we been together forever.

Thanks again for your story and I am so glad that you found the closure in your life that was missing.

Many Blessing

[barralisy]

As a birthmom who has been reunited with my birthson only a few weeks ago, I am so glad to hear your story. I am so sorry to hear of your childhood experiences, but I am very impressed that you are working through them and doing what you need to do to be whole again.

I am certain that your birthmom has loved you, prayed for you, and sent good feelings your way for your entire life. I know because that is what I have done. Your birth mom and I sound quite a bit alike.

I hope that the love she has for you will help to heal your wound and that you can be happy.

Best wishes!
LCT

[Moongrl22]

Richard, that was just LOVELY and heart touching at the same time. I am so glad you took that step to finding your Bmother. I'm so sorry that you endure pain and suffering as a child. NO Bparent wants that for their Child. I am a Bmother also and the LOVE that I have had for my baby that I GAVE UP is Stronger now than ever. I'm lucky to say that my daughter is happy, healthy and has an amazing family. Her life has been BLESSED beyond my own expectations. We have been in contact but I don't foresee a reunion in our future. As much as I always wanted that happy reunion, that moment I could hug her and tell her how much I loved her is not in our cards. I will always love her until the end of time. Nobody can take that love away from me.
I'm so glad that you found your way back to your Bmother and that you are able to find some peace. Your story touched my heart. I'm just happy for other people's happy reunions. Believe me I wasn't at first because I really wanted one of those happy reunions to happen for me.

[L@@king2]

Originally Posted by richardcp

Thanks Jenny. After all the feedback here, maybe I'll write something else.

wow Richard - what a story... had me in tears - and am SO glad that you have found happiness and most of all peace of mind...

I too await my bdaughter to contact - but it's probably not in the cards, the same as Moongrl22; alas, she does not want contact...

So I await for MORE from you Richard!!

[Moongrl22]

I'm a Bmother and it makes my heart cry to know any adotee could endure child abuse (pain and suffering). You were so brave to make that first step to call your Bmother and I'm glad you did. I'm so over joyed you had a happy reunion.
You touched my heart and I hope from this day forward all you will always have LOVE, Joy, Happiness and Peace in your life!
You made me realize something that I haven't been able to get for many years. I was abandoned by my own mother when I was Seven years old. She just walked away from me and my four siblings. Not only that she took us away from our entire family, relatives. They never knew what happened to us! It's like we just disappeared out of thin air! We grew up in a Home for children with Foster parents. Our upbringing was fairly good. The emotional trama/damaged was done the day our mother turned her back on us. We were able to adjust to our new environment fairly quickly but their was many nights of fear, loniness and many tears. Our Foster parents treated us like one of their own. Yes, we were blessed. I always felt in my heart like the broken and forgotten child. Wondering why I wasn't good enough for my mother to keep me. She returned 6 years later to check on us. I can remember that day like it yesterday. She walked through that door smiling holding her arms out as if we were going to run into her arms. I stood behind my foster dad's leg holding on for dear life, never wanting to break free. He whispered "Go on now, go see your mother! It's okay" I let go and sat down at the table and she just sat their and smiled, crying how much she missed us. My little sister was so Happy. She hung on to her arms as if she never wanted to be broken from her again. After thirty minutes she got up and said "I need to go." My little sister started to scream, cry "NO" take me with you! She says "I can't!" She walked out the door and she never Returned. I wished she never came back in the first place! It tore up my baby sister. It took a lot for us to claim her down. I was numb to this because I lost trust in her many years back. I wasn't going to let her break my spirit! Life moved on and I grew up! I'm the mother of three beautiful children and a wife for 15 years. I've learned that children can't undo or change what has happened in the past but as an adult I can't allow my past to control my future. I know now that it wasn't about me and I've always been loved by the people around me growing up. I have learned by so many people that weren't even family. For many years I was so ashamed that I didn't have uncles, aunt's, grandparents, cousins in my life. I really didn't feel I belonged or I was wanted but I was WRONG! I have my children, my amazing friends, my wonderful family by marriage. Life really is what you make of it. Every day I try to see myself as special and loved.
Thank you for sharing your story. It helped me realize we all have stories, a history and life is about what we do with those experiences. We can grow and blossom from it or we can allow ourselves to be broken. I chose to grow and blossom! Good Luck to you richardcp and God bless you!

[geogdeb]

Richard,

Thanks so much for sharing your story. I am a bmom in reunion with my son. He has a good, loving adoptive family, but your story just goes to show that adoption isn't necessarily the answer. Just because people want children doesn't mean they should have them and just because a woman or man is young and/or single doesn't mean they can't be a good parent. I am so glad things are working out well for you. Check in and let us know how the reunion is going.

Deb

[richardcp]

Originally Posted by Moongrl22

You made me realize something that I haven't been able to get for many years. ......

Thank you for sharing your story. It helped me realize we all have stories, a history and life is about what we do with those experiences. We can grow and blossom from it or we can allow ourselves to be broken. I chose to grow and blossom! Good Luck to you richardcp and God bless you!

That was nice to read. I'm glad my story helped you to realize this. You are so correct and at the end of the day it comes down to exactly what you said.
"We can grow and blossom from it or we can allow ourselves to be broken."

Thanks for the feedback.

[richardcp]

Ok, checking in. My mother came down this weekend for my 40th birthday. I had always avoided my birthday, I didn't see it as something to celebrate. I took on a challenge to allow it to be celebrated and be "ok" with it and just to take it in. Small celebration attended by people I am closest to and it was nice. I think i've exercised another demon.

I was moved by all the positive feedback I got on here to my story, so I started an extended version of it. I have a good bit done, but would be interested in feedback from anyone who wants to read it. Just send me a msg and i'll send it to you rather than post it to the board since it's incomplete.

Thank you.