[SkorMT]

I've just started the process of looking for some of my "history". I was adopted as a baby. So I know nothing of my heritage or the like.

Many times over, did I tell myself, "I'm going to search for bfamily". and then never really get anywhere.

Well, .. I did it again this week. and after reading into some to some of the stuff on this site. I actually made the phone call to the Montana department covering the adoptions.

Within minutes of the phone call, the lady I had talked to, e-mailed me back saying she had found some information on me, and would need an official written request and photo id to get me my non-id info.

I'll tell you, truthfully I kind of stopped breathing for a second or 2.

This whole search process always has me second guessing myself. One of the biggest questions I always face up to is... "Well, if my bfamily wanted to found, they would have searched for me by now.... " given into the idea that was given away... for what ever the reason.... *sigh*.... I mean.. my afamily still lives in the same (very small town in Montana) that I grew up in... where everyone knows everyone..

well we'll see what happens.. gotta wait a couple weeks as it is to even get the information (non-id stuff anyways)...

I did ask a friend in the state to go see if they could dig up the original birth announcement for me. just to see if it gives a last name or something.. assuming they did that in the paper back then.. in good ol great falls mt.

ugg..

thanks for the space to rant if nothing else

[snuffie]

Oh, its all so exciting and nerve wracking too. It takes a lot of fortitude and patience. But you have begun a journey into your past and your future.

Its easy to think that our bparents should be searching for us. But there are very many reasons why they may not. (They may have searched and not found you.Even though your aparents are still in the same place your bparents may not know who your aparents are or the place they were from.) Depending on when your were adopted bparents were told they could never search, some were told that to search would disrupt their childs life. Believe it or not, some people don't have access to a computer nor know how to use it. They are unaware of search sites etc.

I wish you much luck and happiness in your search and reunion.

Snuffie

[SkorMT]

Thanks for the reply,

I've already determined this is going to be one of those rollercoaster events .. but will keep moving forward.

I think the waitings on information is gonna drive me nuts

[bfuddled]

[quote=SkorMT]I've just started the process of looking for some of my "history". I was adopted as a baby. So I know nothing of my heritage or the like.
thanks for the space to rant if nothing else >>>

HI - I am totally new at this - not sure I am doing this right but I read your note and felt that I can understand your emotions. JUST a WEEK ago, out of the blue, I was contacted by the group that handled the adoption of my babygirl - and that was 42 years ago. I AM IN SHOCK still. I never expected this even tho I did try some searching on my own some 14 years ago. Today's world is so different it is almost impossible for anyone to understand why a woman would not keep a birthchild as her own. SIMPLE - Stigma for both mother and child and NO HELP out there from anyone. Not like today...I am so relieved that all of THIS has come out into the open for both sides. I am not sure what I should do. I know I need to reply to her non identifying letter to me..but I am not sure what I should say. It makes me sad to think that I have missed all of her life - but I am happy that she has shared that she has had a good life and is happy now. So things happen for strange reasons. For me - almost 65 now - I feel this is an omen..a sign that something is going to happen (to me most likely since I am the old one
I just wanted to share that there can be many reasons why one feels they have not been looked for...I am sure you have been loved your entire life - and missed too in that deep hole inside your birthmom's heart. I know the emptiness. Take care-

[SkorMT]

wow.. I'm still waiting for the non-id info in the mail .. but I didn't get that they were contacting anyone for it. When I spoke to the person at the department, she made it sound like I had a file already.. *shrug*..

I do hope your reunion goes well.. if it gets to that point... I would guess in some form or fasion just knowing that your birth child.. or a realitive of theirs is looking for some past... can mean a lot.

being a child born in the late 60's.. and being born in a town where there was at the time a VERY active airbase.. my mind can come up with multitudes of scenarios of what led up to my being put up for adoption... and by no means do I hold resentment for it... I get that things just happen ..

do follow up with us on how things go with you.. I think many people like to hear both sides of the stories for sure.

[SkorMT]

Well..

after a LONG month.. and still no CI info.. I decided to re-email the lady and mention I hadn't seen any of my info yet ..

I guess she happened to get swamped with work at the same time of my request... and well. .forgot.. *sigh*..

anyways.. finally got my "papers".. looks like they're the orginal documents .. but with names and places whited out and then copied :/

but did learn some things ..
bmom .. was 25... single.. with 1 child already ( I have a brother ?!!?!! well half brother maybe..).. sounds like the extended b-family may have not even known about me...

b father.. was 25 also.. but married.. though didn't sound like that was lasting much longer at the time either...

"sounds" like I have a half sib through his side of the family too.. at least..

oh well.. just a quick update.. still processing the information .. lot to grasp

[kune]

Louis
Keep us updated - I have a bson your age who searched and found me about 5 years ago. It was an amazing time and in a nice way, still is.

There are so many variables and emotions to work through for both parties - if I can help you or you are looking for answers from other members of the forums, post here and you are sure to get a good "cross-section" of replies.

Ann

[sal]

Welcome to the "roller coaster" of search and reunion. I've been reunited with my bmother, bsiblings and extended bfamily for 6 years and counting.. and can say that it was THE best thing that I ever did for myself. I'd really recommend reading what you can about adoption impacts and reunions.. a good book is The Adoption Reunion Survival Guide by Julie Jarrell Bailey and Lynn NMA Giddens. There is great support here in the forums and in the chat room. Keep us posted...I wish you good luck...sal