[stacycooper]

Hello,
I need support and hope I can find it on this forum. My spouse found his birth family 2 years ago and for various reasons, they don't think I am the right wife for him. They don't like me and we do not get along. I am of a different religion than them and my husband, who converted to my religion when we married, has since gone back to their religion. He loves me and we are happy, but they come first and he is very impressioned by them. I need to know if there is anyone else out there in a similar situation. Life is very hard for me. I feel isolated. We just moved to their town and they predominate my husbands life and I feel left in the dirt. The only way to get along with them is to listen to whatever they say, do whatever they say and always agree with them. They don't appreciate free thinkers. I can't blame my hubby for wanting to know his birth family, especially when it was at my prompting that he find them :-(

Sad and lost

[SuddenlySusan]

Stacy, I'm sorry to hear that this is happening in your relationship. It must especially hurt when you had encouraged him to search in the first place.

I don't have any experience with this, but perhaps you might consider posting under the "Adult Adoptees" forum. There are a number of sub-forums that could address your situation, and you might get quicker feedback there.

Would your husband consider going to counseling with you?

Peace,
Susan
(bmom in reunion)

[snuffie]

Hi Stacey,

I am an adoptee who found her birth family not a spouse of an adoptee. But I do have a thought. Sometimes the very same type of thing happens in families untouched by adoption. For whatever reason (or no reason at all) the spouse's family isn't very accepting of a spouse. Have you tried discussing this with your husband? Maybe try doing some things away from the "family" with your husband?

I know it wasn't easy on my husband when I reunited with my bfamily. He was and still is very supportive but it has taken time away from him. We adoptees can have tunnel vision for a time after reuniting. It's all we can think about. It does get better and settle down though.

Also, If you have just moved to a new town are there any activities or groups there that could help make you feel at home?

Much happiness to you.

Snuffie