[Aussie79]

Hi everyone,

I'm a 27year old woman from Western Australia and I
am searching for my bparents. This is my first post on this site though i've been reading it for a while and taking comfort in the experiences of those who have already trod the path I am begining. Anyway, introductions over, on to my problem! I have already obtained the full names and addresses of both my bparents and I am considering sending them a letter each just to let them know that I would like to have contact with them if they are comfortable with that. I was told by a reunion organization that they thought I should let them do the initial contact but I have decided that I dont want to give up that control just yet. My main question atm is that after much discussion with me amum, we agreed that the standard, non-identifying first contact letter just doesn't feel right. I don't want to say anything that is too emotional just basically, say hi, who I am and that I would be interested in getting to know them. I guess what Im really asking all you wonderful people is that do you think that identifying myself as their adopted child in my letters would be okay, or should I write one of those letters that does not say that it's in relation to an adoption issue????

[Mandie moo]

Hello Aussie 79
I think anything else other than an open honest letter, would come off like a phrank. I believe that it is best to tell them who you are, including your birth date. A basic friendly letter letting them know that you are doing well, a little about your life growing up and a photo or two.

You don't have to give out your phone number or personal address until you are ready. But its best to provide some kind of mailing address, so they can respond to you.

I feel that if you are overly protective, they may feel that there are walls put up already, which may inturn put their walls up.

I know that most often bparents don't cross over the boundarys that are in place. I have read many very friendly open for contact first letters and those usually are welcomed, although some are not due to many other emotional reasons.
Good luck
mm