[bmum79]

Next month it'll our 1 year in reunion and I'm lucky enough to be able to spend that time with my bson - an event that we are both looking forward to. As I look back on this past year I realise that our reunion has, by and large, been pretty uneventful. Of course it has, as there has been very little discussion on emotional issues especially from him who does not like nor want to 'go there'.
My problem (if I can call it that) is that it'll be my birthday over that period and, in we're planning a day excursion on that day (not in celebration but just to spend time together as a 'family'). G has never asked me when my birthday is and I've never brought it up either.I do know that it was mentioned in the initial letter by the sw just prior to contact. Now I'm in a dilemma, do I mention it beforehand or do I just keep quiet.I do not want him to feel awkward and obligated to acknowledge my birthday as I do not think that he's at a place where he knows where I fit into his life but on the other hand I would not like him to feel awkward and embarrased if it's let slip on the day and he hadn't been told. My instinct fluctuate so I'm getting no help there - what to do

[kharma1130]

Hi bmum79! Hmm....that's a tricky one. Maybe you could just mention to him in an email that you're glad that he is going to be able to spend time with you on your birthday. And that him being there will be the best birthday present ever! At least he will know in advance and wont feel awkward and surprised when someone else mentions it. Good luck and I hope you have a great birthday with your son! That's awesome-enjoy!

[amyshaw]

bmum, I agree with kharma, mention it in the email. Telling him that spending the day with him will be the best present ever takes the pressure off him--he wont be obligated to get you a gift. He also wont feel the embarassment of finding out on that day, because you KNOW somebody will mention it.

Congrats on your reunion!

[SuddenlySusan]

I agree...let him know. Just my 2 cents, FWIW.

Congratulations on your reunion. Is this your first face-to-face contact? How old is "G"?

Best wishes,
Susan

[bmum79]

Is this your first face-to-face contact? How old is "G"?

G is 27years old and we had our first F2F in November '06 - His birthday. Finally, being able to say "Happy Birthday"and give him a hug was incredible. He even took a day of work on his b'day so that we could spend it together .... how awesome was that!!!
We'd met 2 weeks earlier so by the time his birthday came around we'd relaxed enough with each other and could just chill - it was so special and has meant so much to me.
I've made a decision that I will 'casually' mention my birthday in an email to him and that'll put the ball in his court should he want to acknowledge it or not. I'm terrified that he choses to ignore my birthday (read ~ rejection) and I hope that I'll be strong enough to deal with it - I hope that it won't come to that.