[Lucy82]

Hi All!
I posted this in the Making contact section but not sure if it fits better in here!!
I just wanted to write and share my journey so far (and its early days!).
I'm 24, live in the UK and was adopted from birth. In Oct I received a letter from a charity who had been contacted by my bdad saying he would like contact with me. I responsed and said that would be OK and got a letter from him not long after. I wrote back and we've now exchanged another letter each. I'm writing this as I wait for another letter from him!

I would really love to hear from anyone with similar experiences to me (or any advice/support from anyone would be great). At the moment I'm feeling a bit lost and although my family and friends are great, they're struggling to understand my "rollercoaster" emotions! and how to relate to how I'm feeling.

Lucy

[seaspiritnw]

I can understand how you must feel. I posted yesterday about finding my cousin after 33 yrs. We both have the same rollercoaster thing going on. Happy, scared, the whole thing.We haven't met in person yet, but that's the next step. That should be next month. I'm glad you found your bfather, and I wish you all the best. It does get easier! One step at a time. You'll be ok! So happy for you..

[Lucy82]

Thanks for your reply!
Its so great to know that I'm not alone and that others have the same rollercoaster ride that I'm on. Sometimes I feel so happy and excited about the whole thing, other times I feel quite low and frightened... but I guess thats normal! I'm just trying to take it slowly at the moment.. I think because he was the 1 who intiated the search, I'm scared of getting hurt and I'm trying to keep some control. i'm really looking forward to eventually speaking to him and meeting him. Good Luck meeting your cousin. hope everything goes smoothly! Lucy

[Richard Justin]

Hi Lucy. I'm a birth father. I searched for and reunited with my son after 32 years. That has been six years ago, and we have a continuing friendly relationship. I just want to encourage you to remember that your birth father is going through all the same fears and emotions as you. He took the risk of seeking, knowing that you would have the power of ending contact. That you know he wants to know you should be very reassuring. Share honestly about yuor feelings, fears and hopes for your reunion. There are undoubtedly others being affected by this process. Keep them in the loop as much as they wish to be. I hope your have a support system of family and friends to walk this path with you. My experience can be a witness to you that reunion can work out very well. My extended family has accepted my son, and he and his wife have welcomed me as the third grampa to their kids. God be with you on your reunion journey.

Rich

[HBTrina]

Lucy,

Over two years ago I began the search for my bparents. After many twists and turns last spring I finally ended up with the name of my bdad.

Last June I sent a letter to the address that I had found for him. He responded back within a week. Since then I have seen him and his family two differenet occassions.

So far it is going great. We live 1200 miles apart so we are getting to know each other mostly through email.

Good luck and let us know what happens.

Trina

[kakuehl]

It is truly a roller coaster ride of emotions - excitement, fear, etc. Take a few deep breathes. In terms of control, you can and should set boundaries. Try to take it slowly. You are strangers to each other despite the genetic connection (which you may feel very strongly). Ask for copies of family pictures - begin to organize your biological family tree? Ask him to tell you family stories. You'll find out about him as he does so. Think about what you want to share of your experiences of being adopted. When did you find out, how did you feel. You get to choose how much you want to share. Try not to unload it all at once!!! You have started on the journey of a lifetime.