[Miltdaddy]

Let me start off by saying hello family and one of the biggest questions I ask myself everyday is......."Hey Daddy, are you still in prison"??????

I grew up in the foster care system since birth..........Looking back now I can't recall a day not being in the foster care system. I was cheated out of my childhood and had to experience things at a young age that no child should have to have gone through....Yes it has made me stronger but Wow that was lesson that has made me the Man I'm today...........

My father, A handsome African-American with a dark complexion, as described in my Non- Identifying Information, got caught up in the Prison system when I was about 6 yrs old.........The details behind his incarceration are very sketchy but one thing I recall is that fact he had to surrender his rights over due to his incarceration. This left a bad taste in my mouth because I always wondered if the foster care agency provided him with a forwarding address to send correspondence to me. I recall visiting with counselors at a young age and did plenty of role playing.....Of course it came up on several occasion about my father being incarcerated........How was I suppose to respond???? The system broke the chains of father and son. Who was going to replace his shoes and now I was faced with a major question. Who was going to teach me to become a Man???????

Being without my father has taught me to appreciate other children families that had a father present. I was raised by a blood sister 1 year older who was forced to play Mother and Father. I guess she was also cheated out of her childhood. Throughout this whole ordeal we were never separated through the Foster care system and that has made us have a stronger bond. She taught me something so minor as to how to tie a tie that I value today.

I have found my male figures through various sports that I participated in. I excelled in several sports and was captain of several teams but no one knew my little secret. It wasn't until I began receiving achievement awards when people would figure it out. My sister would attend every award ceremony and unfortunately I didn't have a supportive foster mother. When I came to this foster home there was a solid structured household that was ultimately broken up and again I was left fatherless.

For those fathers or even mothers who are caught up in an unfortunate situation always remain an active part of your offspring's life since a child never forgets.... I recall asking my social worker how he was doing but never getting a straight forward answer. Just a simple letter or phone call goes a long way. As much as I regreted the prison system I had to force myself to step forward and end the torture and finally tell someone. And yes she was arrested and had to do time

What are your feelings towards this subject??????

I'm currently running into problems locating my father through the prison system. I don't want to stir up the past with my biological mother since me stepping forward as a child terminated her rights for permanent neglect.

I'm approaching my 35th birthday in March and hopefully my one and only wish will come true.......... Finding Daddy!!!!!!!
I'm open for all ideas and approaches to finally closing this chapter of my life. Help me score a touchdown and do a victory lap with my father.




Miltdaddy

[RiverGal]

If you know what state your father was incarcerated in, it may be possible to find the info on the internet...depending on how long ago he was last locked up/released. In Florida for example: you would type in "Florida Department of Corrections" and the screen prompts you on how to search for inmates in population or released. If he was released, the address he regestered to at the time should be displayed. It's basically the same for all the states I have searched. There is also a search site for Federal inmates.

Good luck in your search.

Debra

[jomar4]

Your parents were both told you were being sent to a good family that would give you the life they couldn't. No they were not given an address on how to contact you, as I was not for my children. Had I know how my daughter would spend her life..........
I'm sorry you raised a growl about the system. I will not stop trying to find my two children. I wish you the best in finding yours.
jomar4

[KittyKitten]

Do you know your fathers name and roughly his age?

I knew my father's name(First and last) and roughly his age. I peiced together all that I knew about the two of them. My mother was a teen so I figured my father to be in his late teens or early adulthood.

Armed with that information(whch was all I knew) I started going through state/federal prison inmate lookup's. Your father probably has a felony(mine did that's how he lost me, ironically I was also six), if that is the case you should be able to some info. about him online.

Do your best and you should find him. You also might try getting a criminal backgroud check which might give you a starting address.

Kitty

[jomar4]

Miltdaddy, May I suggest a couple of sites to try.
http://www.inmatesplus.com or else try
http://www.hollywoodnetwork.com/hn/m...oom/board.html
sorry it will not do link for me you will have to paste it, it seems they have good info for what you are searching. We never know where we will find our answers. But i kept thinking of you when looking through it and couldn't wait to tell you about it. Let us know how it is going you have freinds here.
jomar4

[Miltdaddy]

Great news............... I finally found his true identity..... I contacted the parole dept today but they advised me that he was released from parole to another state back in 1992.

Need advise from anyone with inmates on parole procedures so that I can get a better understanding. I will attempt to contact to courts to get copy of the trial hearing reports. Then I could get the complete details on the reason he was incarcerated. I just remember bits and pieces.



Miltdaddy

[RiverGal]

Miltdaddy,

I am so happy that you have made progress, as I certainly understand the frustration. Sounds like you are on the right track in obtaining the court reports. From there, you should be able to call the parole office in the state he registered and see what info they offer. There is a book you can get in the public library by Joseph Culligan called You Can Find Anybody which has a chapter (including many websites) on tracking down both active and released inmates where you may find some helpful info.

Thanks for the update...I had been wondering if you had any news. Keep us posted!

Deb

[KittyKitten]

Congrats!

Maybe soon we will have a new "Family" photo to see

I hope you are able to make contact. How did you "find" him?

Kitty

[Miltdaddy]

Thanks Missing Link for the pointer but that book " You Can Find Anyone" has been my main guide........... I saw him on the Montel Williams show last year and went to the library to rent the book. It had so much information in it I had to go out and purchase it. I carry it with me everyday when I go to work as well as a composition book. I began using my spare time wisely and without this group I wouldn't have been able handle this emotionally and mentally.

Yesterday I finally had to opportunity to meet with the New York Foundling Volunteer Director. I have shown a great deal of interest on giving back and this was going to be a long life commitment. He advised me that this year was the 135 Anniversary of the Foundling Hospital. I guess things happen for a reason and I'm thankful this agency was established and took me in and provided shelter. Without there assistance where would I be today?????? Probably another statistic and inside the Prison Walls.

Ok back to business.......... I received plenty of hits regarding his address but now I need information on how to write the contact letter or what to say during the 1st phone call. I don't want to come off pushy and scare him away. I came too far on the emotional roller coaster to be side railed. If anyone has a checklist it will be gladly appreciated.

"Daddy your little man is coming. I'm not going to stop looking"

Miltdaddy

[Miltdaddy]

Still waiting !!!!!!!!!!! Does anyone have or know how to construct a contact letter. Just need a few pointers and advise from adoptees who already sent a contact letter to their biological family.


Thanks

[Miltdaddy]

Wow it has been awhile since I have updated this thread....... Let me bring you up to speed. Reunited with daddy back on 4/25/04 and everyday something good happens. It has been over 2 months now since being reunited and our relationship has grown so strong. He admires my dedication in helping others and gives me the moral support I need. It puts a smile on his face to watch me grow into a real man that values his family and help people who are less fortunate. It just bothers me when I run into people who are all talk and no action. At times it feels like I'm losing this battle but when a child comes up to me and either says Miltdaddy or Coach it gives me inspiration to continue doing my part.

After dealing with the reunion I have so many chapters closed but now need to confront my foster mother. I already know that she brought us in for the money but why not admit it. I say this because the woman was clueless as to what I ever did. If you are to play the role of a parent then what type of supervision are you allowing. To not monitor my where about showed me that you really didn't care about me. I signed her name on so many permission slips and report cards I lost count. Also to not show support providing transportation to the various sport engagements. It was embarrassing to have to ask the neighborhood friends that at times I would either walk or ride my bike to and from an event. I had to do what I had to do......


Now with my father in my life do I introduce her to my father. I don't even want to give her that satisfaction since she never called me since I graduated High School. She always has the same excuse that she didn't have my number but it has pretty much always stayed the same. I must get these questions answered since this is such a mystery. I could handle the truth but just keep it real ........ It's funny that we turned out better than her own children and I think that bothers her.


We put off what I can do today.............



Miltdaddy
"Bringing People Together"
Adoptee reunited with Daddy 4/25/04
New York Foundling Hospital


I must now make it my personal search to get a picture with my role model Jim Brown. This is a sports figure that I have watched and followed. I'll let everyone know once my mission is accomplished. Take care of your children and remember I would like to see your child in a football camp from 9-5 pm than to see them caught in the Prison System doing a 5-9 sentence......

[Unidentified]

Miltdaddy

I am so thrilled for you!!
I just wanted to post congrats and say
you are awesome

way to go!!!

-mk

[Miltdaddy]

Thanks......... Like I said before we are survivors and I speak for those who can't speak for themselves....... This is such a small world and word of mouth is the best tool to get our message out there........ Positive words like yours give me the strength to keep doing what I do............ Be safe!!!!!!!!







Miltdaddy (Milton A. Mills)
"Bringing People Together"
New York Foundling Hospital
Adoptee Reunited with Daddy 4/25/04


I would rather see your child at a football camp from 9-5 than to see them doing a 5-9 sentence. My message will be the same on either side of the bars.

[RiverGal]

Miltdaddy ~ You, your family and your awesome work are still in my prayers. Hope you keep reaching out...it is the people like you who are best equipped to make the biggest difference...the ones who serve from the heart.

~D

[Miltdaddy]

Thanks for the kind words DL. I have the best of both worlds since I know what the system does to you and I'm a survivor like many others who were able to make it out. I only speak for experience and I speak from the heart. I will never change!!!!


Ok family I took this photo yesterday and it was very disturbing. See this all the time but still can't believe that this problem still exist in 2004. This situation isn't color blind and many have learned that this is just another figure of everyday life. Wow.......
Everyone has a story but we fail to realize we are two pay checks from being homeless.......... This could be someone's child, brother, father, relative but who will take the time to find out his story????????

The words on the sign speak for itself!!!!!!!!!!!

Food for thought..........


Where is the media now when we need them the most........Hmmmm Lets not just show the glamorous side of New York. I go where people are scared to go and a picture is worth a thousand words.......... Support Miltdaddy I'll always be in your corner......



______________________________________________

Miltdaddy (Milton A. Mills)
"Bringing People Together"
New York Foundling Hospital
Adoptee reunited with Daddy 4/25/04 after 27 yrs