[Robin Harritt]

This forum seems almost dead, I wonder whether there is any real interest in reunions with foster families. I'm still trying to find members of my foster family from many years ago see. http://forums.adoption.com/t122784.html

Am I unusual in being more interested in finding them than I was in finding my (now deceased) birthmother, I see them more as my first family even though I last saw them when I was eight months old in the 1950s.

Robin

[sonata]

This subject affects me only indirectly, but I thought I would add this story to the thread:

I grew up in a family of six adopted children. Three of us were adopted at birth, and the other three were a sibling group who had lived with one foster family for 7 years.

These kids had really thought of the foster parents as their parents all those years. (They had been removed from their birth home as toddlers) I know that each of them in time did go back and seek out the foster family after adulthood. I think they now keep in touch sporadically.

In your case, I can absolutely see why you would want to find your foster parents especially since your birthmother is now deceased. These are probably the first people you bonded with - whether you consciously remember it or not. Good luck in your search! Sonata

[Robin Harritt]

Originally posted by sonata
These are probably the first people you bonded with - whether you consciously remember it or not. Good luck in your search! Sonata

Thanks Sonata for the reply and the story, I think many people who spent a long time with foster families do want to keep in touch as they see them as 'real' family.

My nmum relinquished seven kids one by one, I was the last to be relinquished, she then went on to have four more that she kept. I've traced all the survivors so I do have plenty of connection. But the story still feels incomplete. My mother left me with these people at about 10 weeks because she had to work, but they had been helping to look after me since day one so I guess I could have bonded with them, they had been looking after her as well.

Unfortunately Barnardo's are particularly unhelpful in imparting the information that they have on this situation.

Robin

[Robin Harritt]

I had meant to include this as it helps to explain why I am searching for the Threadgolds, http://robin.robin.org/~tl this letter "leaked" from Barnardo's. Barnardo's behaviour with regard to this has been appalling, I have consulted Alan Levy QC the formost adoption lawyer in England, who described Barnardo's actions as Kafkaesque . I do hope that behind all the spin and expensive advertising Barnardo's is better at dealing with its current clients than it is with those it dealt with in the past. Access to records at Barnardos is, for want of a politer phrase, nothing much more than a glorified corporate arse covering exercise.

Robin

[tricia3]

Although I was only in fostercare for 8 weeks I still have the desire to know the people who cared for me during this time. I know I was an infant, but I had to be grieving from the loss of my mother and want very much to say thankyou for opening your home and hearts to care for me. 8 weeks is a long time in the life of an infants, and I know that I had to have some sort of connection with them. I am also hoping maybe they took a picture, I've never seen one of me until I was about 4 months old.

[Robin Harritt]

Originally posted by tricia3
Although I was only in fostercare for 8 weeks I still have the desire to know the people who cared for me during this time.

Eight weeks is a long time if it's your first eight weeks I think. I was with Mr & Mrs T (who when I was taken from them wanted to adopt me), from when I was born in mid september until the following May they weren't official foster parents, just friends of my mother. It'll probably annoy some of the more hardcore birthmothers here but I really do feel I have a much much stronger connection to them than I have to Jean (my natural mother)

Have you searched at all for your fosterparents, had any success? How helpfull was the adoption agency?

Robin

[tricia3]

I am about to file a petition to release my original birth certificate and fostercare records. I've already reunited with bmom so I'm hoping they will see that the need for confidentiality is no longer neccessary. I live in north Carolina and this may be more difficult than I hoped. I too wonder if I formed some sort of bond with them. Right now I am struggling with the demons in me that say "you don't need to know all of this info" . After all it's not going to signifigantly change my life.
How long were you in fostercare? Tricia

[Richard Justin]

My wife and I were foster parents to three siblings for 14 months back in the '70's. They were eventually able to go to live with their father. I did develop a love-bond with those children, and it was hard to see them go. In the mid 90's one of them contacted us. It made us feel so good that we hadn't been forgotten. I was able to go to the wedding of the oldest foster girl's daughter, and found that she had told all her children about us. It was a great reunion. I wish you well in your search. I think it will be a joy to your foster parents to see you all grown.

Rich

[Robin Harritt]

Originally posted by Richard Justin
I wish you well in your search. I think it will be a joy to your foster parents to see you all grown.

Thanks Richard, after 50 years I'm guessing it's a bit too late for that, see Still searching for foster family, Threadgold
but I still live in hopes that I may find Penelope and Cynthia their 'daughters' who were 12 and 7 at the time. Penelope was at the same children's home as my brother, but he does not remember her.

I really don't understand why adoption agencies in England which now see that it is so esential to have contact with birthmothers can't grasp that there is a life-long bond with foster families. Or is just that Barnardo's are really crap at dealing with this sort of thing?

Robin

[Richard Justin]

Boy, I really did come into this late. But now I'm curious. Who or what is Barnardos? An agency of some sort? Good luck in your quest.

Rich

[Robin Harritt]

Originally posted by Richard Justin
Boy, I really did come into this late. But now I'm curious. Who or what is Barnardos? An agency of some sort? Good luck in your quest. Rich

Thanks Rich

Barnardo's is one of the largest child care charity organisations in the world operating in Australia, Ireland, New Zealand and the United Kingdom. See http://www.barnardos.com/ it raises over 100 million UK pounds per year in the UK alone. Barnardos although hopefully it does a lot good work today, did more than almost any other entity to break up and destroy families in the 20th century. And it does the best that it can to cover that up. Barnardo's was a foremost organiser of the Child Migration Scheme in the late 19th and 20th centaury. It often told children their parents had died, and told parents their kids had been adopted when it simply wasn’t true, though the organisation still vehemently denies that it did so. It is reckoned that one in every eight Canadians is descended from a child shipped there by Barnardos. A couple of years ago year some of the survivors in Canada tried to bring a class action for 400 million Canadian dollars against Barnardos for lack of fiduciary care. Barnardos being a huge organisation is able to employ advertising agencies able to create a great deal of spin. The money that it spends advertising in British newspapers makes sure that it has a strangle hold on the press here, and very little is ever mentioned about its often very dubious past. Barnardo's current president is our Prime Minister's wife Cherrie Booth QC (aka Cherrie Blair). I am personally still considering taking Barnardos to court in England to obtain access to records as continues to ignore the legal precedents set in the Gunn-Rosso v Nugent Care et al case in the High Court. I find the me a pretty unpleasant and difficult bunch of people to deal with generally.

Hope that helps to explain it.

Robin

[dadfor2]

very interesting thread

when i was doing my kids lifebooks, i was searching through their records for all the foster homes they were in.

it was amazing to me that i couldnt get names..they were listed as 'the G family' 'the B family'

I felt these familes were where my children lived was so valuable and i know they wont remember them all. I wanted to include these people in my childrens life books, But due to confidentiality i couldnt get the names...so i had to actually minimize all the foster homes...

how sad for my kids that they dont know who took care of them in those earlier days when they were removed.

i didnt really push the issue, but maybe i should of....

dadfor2

[Sharron6]

I think it's great that there is a site like this. I am a foster parent daughter ISO of Carol Carson (birthname) DOB: 8-31-67; Born in St Petersburg, FL and adopted in 12-69 to a family in Tallahassee, FL. I have been searching for Carol for several months and would really love to find her. My parents got her when she was 4 days old and she was taken from us at age 2 1/2. It almost destroyed my mother. I was 19 at the time and it broke my heart to carry her out to the social worker's car. Carol would not take her arms off from around my neck and I litteraly had to break her grip and put her in the car. That was the last time we saw Carol. Somehow, we managed to get the names of the adoptive parents and their address, but over the years that information was lost. I now have a 2 yr old granddaughter and I know she would be tramatized if something like that ever happened to her. I pray everyday that I find her. I am trying to trying to surpise my mother, now age 84.

Sharron in Florida

[mel77]

In response to your question, yes...I think there are many who want to find their foster parents...moreso than bio. parents. If you think about it, many of us have our "first memories" from foster care...I, personally have been searching for them for a very long time now....with absolutey zero desire to find my bio. mom. I am petitioning the Adoption Agency to allow me to write a letter to my foster parents..which they can they send out for me....(that's about the best I can hope for right now)....I fear I am running out of time as I know they are getting up there in age and may not even be living still.

Nonetheless, I wish there was a better forum (more active)....which focused on just foster care and re-uniting, etc....but so far..I haven't found much beyond this...

Take care...

~M. - ISO foster parents...Los Angeles, CA ...1978-1981

[Robin Harritt]

Thanks Melanie

If you ever do find a better, more active, forum for peoplle who wish to be reunited with their foster families, then do please make it known here

Robin