[mel77]

Absolutely I will do so ...but I have searched high and low for a better site....would be easier to start my own it seems....(will let you know if I do that too!)....but yeah..it's tough ...they were more than just my first memories..they were my first *good* memories...they actually started me in pre-school ....and spoiled me with ice cream and toys and all sorts of stuff...it's because of them that I have a childhood animal blanket....they taught me my ABC's....and even though I remember their first names..the last name is difficult....turning up nothing over and over again...

It's really weird....as I said before I actually have *zero* desire to find my bio. mom ....I mean the only thing I could ever think of to "thank her" for was letting me go! And even then, I don't think those words would ever come out.... I guess bottom line is I just can't really think of anything nice I'd want to say to her...so why say anything at all ...would much rather devote my time and energy to finding someone I once truly loved and think about every day. Good luck in your search...truly.

[Bleu_72262]

I was reunited many years ago with my first foster family. I was with them for seven years then was taken away because of abuse reports from the school. I loved them passionately and always considered them to be my "real" family...The reunion didn't go the way I had planned in my mind and I have never seen them again. Left with a hole in my heart and life...

Bleu

[S Harrison]

Hey Tricia:

Fancy meeting you here Happy holidays!!!!

As you know, I was reunited with my foster family in September of this year and it has been the most heartwarming experience. I was with them from 3 days old until I was 2 1/2 years. They still had my baby/toddler pictures after FORTY years and still have the coffee table that I cut my teeth on. When I looked into that dear woman's eyes and touched her face, I knew I was HOME. I have no physical memory of her at all whatsoever.................but there was a deep deep emotional bond there. When she looked at me and touched my face, forty years of pain and emptiness were eased with a comforting peace. I will continue to search for my natural family, but nothing will ever replace the joy and peace of looking into the eyes of the woman who loved and cared for me during my first two and half years of life. That relationship formed the person I am today and for that I will always be greatful. Just to hear her say my name, the name that she gave me when I was placed with her, and for her to sing to me again.................nothing and I mean NOTHING, can come close to filling the void in my life as this has. I have been home after 40 years and I have been touched to the core of my soul by this remarkable woman who after 40 years still calls me her "baby". In her eyes, I always will be.
As I said, I will continue to search for the people I look like and share a bloodline with and pray that I may be able to establish some type of relationship there, but my foster family is my true first family and nothing will be able to change that.

Hope all is well with you Tricia..............am hoping to get down there next month again so maybe we can plan ahead this time.

Take care and good luck on getting those files opened............it's about time NC come out of the dark ages and allow us the rights we deserve.

Hugs,
Sue

[tricia3]

You definitely have a unique situation, knowing your fostermom and having spent so much time with her - then coming back 40 yrs later.

I did find out my fosterparents names a few months back. I tried to locate them, but only had a last name, so it was just about impossible to find them in a huge city like charlotte. I looked them up in the 1970 city directory and called the one and only family with that name, but she said it wasn't her.

Turns out that in that short 8 weeks, I was moved to another foster home, because I was colicy and that mom couldn't handle it. Funny thing is, when I was moved, my stomach problems magically disappeared.

I have given up on ever locating them, as I feel I've learned what I needed to know. No point in hanging out in the past when there is nothing to find. I am at peace, finally.

Good Luck with searching.

[spitzlvr]

I just found this thread. I was in foster care until I was 16 months old. I would LOVE to find my foster family. But I don't even know how to begin. Would someone help me?

[tricia3]

Spitzlvr- I did so by contacting the agency that handled my adoption. Every state will be different. Good Luck.

[Robin Harritt]

I've just updated the story so far. It's very long and rambling but hope it will not put people of reading to the end. I'm just maybe starting to make some headway with the Barnardos now. It's a pity the only way to achieve that is with legal threats and by shaming them on the internet.

http://barnardos.harritt.net/barnard...ords/barnardos

Robin Harritt

http://harritt.net

[Robin Harritt]

Just bringing this back to the top.

Some of the links in the posts above might no longer work, you can see my story on the following links.


http://barnardos.harritt.net/

http://search.harritt.net

http://barnardos.harritt.net/barnardos


Robin

call +44 20 7871 1835 Fax +44 20 7691 9668

*

[Robin Harritt]

Just bringing this back to the top, again.

Some of the links in the posts above might no longer work, you can see my story on the following links.

http://barnardos.harritt.net/

http://search.harritt.net

Of interest to anyone who was involved with Barnardos (Barnardo's) in the past.

http://groups.msn.com/thebarnardofam...w?all_topics=1


Robin

call +44 20 7871 1835 Fax +44 20 7691 9668

*

[woodie]

i was foster parent in portland from 65 to 69 was eondering if any were looking for me wife has died but i'm still alive was wondering how they are doing today
my name is melvin w. newell e-mail address under now wife's name veegee@aol.com thank you

[Bradley]

As a former foster Mom from Florida, the comments I have read here about your foster families made my heart "feel good." I have contact with several of "my" foster children, but would LOVE to have contact with ALL of them. These children were a part of our family, and we loved them with all our heart. I have no doubt that your foster families would be thrilled to see, or hear from you. Rest assured that you have always been in their thoughts and prayers, and their love for you will never die. Good luck to each of you in your search, and God Bless You!!!
Truly-Momma@webtv.net

[sal]

I located and developed a relationship with my foster father for several years before his death... his second wife told me that it was one of the most important things that had happened in his life. Meeting him gave me some of the missing pieces and I think gave him the feeling that he really had done something good way back when. I finally feel that I can rest some of my "searching" ....I have filled in most of the gaps in my life.. with my reunions with bmother, bsiblings, extended bfamily and my foster father... sal

[Bradley]

Sal, thanks so much for sharing your story with me. I truly know how happy your foster father was to have you come back into his life. Sadly, there are some "bad" foster homes out there, but most of us loved "our" children deeply and even though they may leave us through adoption or other reasons, they ALWAYS remain in our hearts and we are ecstatic when, and if, we are somehow reunited later in life.

I actually go by the name, "Kip" - the user name on this forum however is, "Bradley." "Bradley" (Braddie as we called him) was a beautiful, precious foster child of ours who was returned to his bmom and stepdad over our VERY VOCAL objections just before he turned 2 years old (we KNEW he would be hurt if returned home). Our attempts to protect him fell of deaf ears, and 66 DAYS after his return to bmom, he was dead of repeated, horrific abuse. I sadly gave up my foster care license after that nightmare that still haunts us each day of our life. We have a website for Braddie if you care to see it - he was, and still is a beautiful little angel. http://mywebpage.netscape.com/cloud9bambi/brad.html


I hope your reunion with your birth family has been all you hoped for. I wish the laws would make it easier for families to find each other if child and parent desire to. Thanks again for sharing. ------ KIP

[sal]

I am SO terribly sorry for the loss of such a beautiful child...just this summer in Madison, WI a 4 mos baby girl was killed by her mother even after medical reports stated that earlier injuries were due to abuse. It's appalling to me that Child Protective Services is so understaffed and so overworked as to not be able to protect children. I'm a special ed preschool teacher who has, unfortunately, had to report suspected abuse...which has ALL been verified...and then the child has been protected. I hope that one day taking care of children is funded FULLY.. and that there will be help available for parents that need it...My reunion IS everything that I had ever hoped and dreamed for... knowing my bmother, bsiblings, extended bfamily and my foster father has given me peace in my soul...sal

[Bradley]

Sadly, these horror stories happen much more often than people realize, and it is quite common for the abuse to be verified by professionals. Yet, the child is left in the home, or is placed "under supervision" by DCF workers. There is no doubt that DCF is understaffed and overworked - they are doing a job that I personally would never do. I have known MANY excellent CPS workers who put their heart and soul into doing their very best to protect the children on their caseload. Then, unfortunately there are always the few workers who do NOT do their job; lie about seeing the children; etc., and those children are in extreme danger.

In Braddie's case, the worker failed miserably!!! She would make visits to SEE Braddie after he was returned to his birth mom and NOT see him. She would either be "detained" in the yard by bmom and talk to her there - never going inside to see Braddie; or bmom would tell the worker that Braddie was with a g-parent or somebody else. These 'excuses' by parents are called "red flag warnings" and the workers KNOW to see the child "eyeball to eyeball," without exception, when this happens. Braddie's caseworker also lied to the judge on several different issues, and even withheld a psychological report from the judge which stated that Braddie should NOT be returned home.


Due to these facts, plus others, Braddie's caseworker was the 1st caseworker in Florida to ever be charged criminally in a case. She was found guilty by a jury of a misdemeanor and a felony. After appeals the felony was
finally dropped, but the misdemeanor stood.


I personally know of several cases where the caseworker has lied about seeing the child who was "under supervision" in the home (even since Braddie's death). In one of those cases, the child was already dead and dumped on the side of the road DURING THE TIME that the caseworker said she was seeing him face to face. She too was prosecuted. I just wish they would all do their job "to the best of their ability" - that is all we can ask. Sadly, some children would still "slip through the cracks," and be killed or injured, but the numbers would not be nearly as high. I have great respect for the caseworkers who do their very best. How wonderful it would be if every child had a loving, safe home to call their own!!!


I am so thankful that your reunion with your b-family and foster father was such a success. I have been blessed in being able to reunite one of "my" children who was a 15 year old bmom with the daughter she gave up for adoption - I had her baby too which bmom gave up at the age of 5 months because she realized she could not provide for her child. I had contact with each of them, plus the adoptive family, all these years. The adoptive family always told me that when the child was old enough, they wanted me to reunite bmom and daughter That day finally came when the daughter was 19 years old, and what a wonderful day that was. My heart was bursting with happiness for all of them. The 'child' (who now has a child of her own) has met all of her b-family now. I can't even begin to explain the joy in my heart when bmom and daughter were reunited.

Please feel free to write me personally at Truly-Momma@webtv.net if you care to. I would love to hear from you. Take care and God Bless You and your family.