[klm4279]

Ive been thinking about looking for my birthmother. I have a few reservations though. What if she has a new family and they know nothing about me? I dont want to intrude. Or what if she just doesnt want anything to do with me? I just dont know what to do. Im scared. Any advice would help. Thank you

[kss626]

You only live once. Why not try! She may not want anything to do with you but she also may. You'll never know unless you try. I'm in search of my birthmom now. If she wants me in her life great but, if see doesn't I understand. I feel very blessed. My adopted family has been wonderful to me and are the most supportive people on the face of this earth. So my advice to you is GO FOR IT!
I wish you the best of luck!
Kristen

[imflying]

Have you looked in any of the adoption registries? You may also be able to get help thru the agency that placed you. I dont know if I want to make contact or not. Most likely, its just a fear of rejection I have. I have made contact with the agency that placed me. The woman I spoke with assures me that every bp or adoptee that she speaks with says they dont want to intrude on someone else's life. If your certain you want to contact her, but dont want to risk upsetting her, I'd recommend placing yourself in the adoption registries. At least youll be there if she ever comes looking.
Best of luck
patti

[emm]

In the book "The Adoption Reunion Survival Guide" the writers Bailey & Giddens suggest

"Adoptees most often find reunion gratifying because it finally provides answers to questions they've had their entire lifetime. Many adoptees describe the experience of reunion as finally feeling in control of their destiny or at long last completing a partially painted picture."

The book also offers "Questions to Contemplate: Are you Ready to Move Toward Reunion?"

for example: "How do you define "adoption reunion" and what do I hope to achieve by having one?, Am I seeking a family in reunion?, Am I seeking information (medical, social, etc.)?"



I found the book very helpful. At the end of each chapter there are Questions to Contemplate either as an adopted person, adoptive parent or birthmother.

Perhaps it would be a good idea for you to read and research possible emotional stages of searching and reunion before you take the next step. Preparing youself for any life changing decision is generaly the wisest way to go.

Be honest with yourself. Take time to think about your needs. Seek support from your family. Ask questions. Try finding other adopted people on this forum who feel the same way as you, to discuss your feelings.

Good luck and take courage you are not alone.
emm

[snicklefritz]

I am fairly new to the adoption search. I wasn't interested at all because I had such a wonderful life given to me by my adopted parents. It was in 1979 when my Adopted mother's family had the Nash family tree traced and found that her great grandmother's maiden name was Fleeman. Up until 1979 she and
the rest of my aunts and uncles thought her name was Freeman.
When my adopted mother passed the last thing she told me was to do everything I could to find out if I was blood relation. My great grandmother's name was Sarah Fleeman. I was born Barbara Sue Fleeman through the Welfare Department in Pulaski
County, in Little Rock, AR. I was born 05-15-1957. I have lived in Russellville, AR all of my life. If any of this sounds familiar, please contact me at snicklefritz69@cox-internet.com


Can someone post a reply to this and give me some more registry
places that I can post to. Like I said, I am new to this and need all the help I can get. I am a disabled housewife and have no money to hire anyone.


Susan Jan Carpenter Rhea

[Kitten Britches]

Hi I am a bmom who was recently reunited with my daughter. I have always wanted to find her ever since the day I gave her up for adoption. I think if you want to find her to go for it, if she wants to be found you will find her. We all have differant reasons for what we did, and sometimes we just need to tell our stories. I don't think there is any bmom who wouold not like the chance to make it right for you. I know not all reuions will be like ours but you will never know if you don't try.

[Christine Lynn]

I am a birthmother and I feel the same way as far as not wanting to intrude in my birth daughter's life. I also understand that it could go either way--she could want to meet me out of curiosity or she doesn't want to meet me. I am ready to face either decision she makes, I just need closure. At least you will know. You will never know if you don't try. Good luck!
Christine Lynn

[kimber vc]

I Am A B/mom Recently Reunited With My Wonderful Son (born 1971). He Acually Tried To Contact Me In 1997, Since There Was No Search From My End He Decided I Wanted My "privacy" And Decided To Leave Me Alone. Nothing Could Have Been Further From The Truth. I Have Always Wanted Contact With Him, My Family Knows Everything About Him.

I Think That One Of The Hardest Things To Overcome When Searching Are The What-if's; What If He/she Rejects Me? What If They Are Horrible People? Etc.

Keep Trying, Your B-mom Has Probably Prayed For The Day Of Contact With You As I Did. For The Most Part, B-mom's Were "ordered" To Relinquish Their Babies In The 50's, 60's And 70's, I Know It Was True In My Case.

Good Luck, Take A Chance!

[fudge]

I wouldn,t worry about that just follow your heart as she may be searching for you goog luck