[JadedJenny]

I have only known about you, my sister, for 3 months. Our mother was only 14, she didn't want to let you go. Her mother placed her in a Maternity Home. after you were born she visited you in the foster home until her mother found out and insisted the adoption be underway, also her mother tore up the only pictures she had of you. Her mother apologized many years later for doing such an awful thing. I never knew she had this pain inside of her, I bet she wondered if you even knew the cicumstances, or if you would even care. She told her friend before she died she wanted to find you so bad but she feared rejection, she didn't fear cancer, she never once complained, but she feared your rejection. I bet she thought it was her fault, I know she had the feeling she should have done more, that is how she is. She never told me, because she knew I would hunt for you, and I would find you, and she would be forced to deal with the past and all the years she never had with you. She didn't exactly have the fairy tale life, there was a lot of pain in that heart and i only know of what she let me know. I hope you know she was a VERY young girl without a choice. It was 1963, things were different.

I myself am only 24, your my big sister, I would love to find you, and tell you that you were wanted, she didn't just "give you away" , in a sense you were taken. That's how I see it, and I won't stop looking.

Today is Mom's birthday, she would have been 54. I miss you Mommy, I wish you didn't have to go so soon. And I will try to find her for us.

[crayons]

I'm so sorry that you lost your mother so young. I hope you find your sister, have you contacted the agency and gotten the ID or non ID information yet. I'm a first mom and lost my daughter to adoption at 16, I'm sorry your mom didn't get to see her daughter before she passed. Please keep us posted on your search for your sister and hang in there. Thanks for sharing your feelings and story.
take care, brandy

[kittkatt31]

Jenny,
I just read your thread and I was very moved.
I can see the pain in your writing, I wish there was something
I could do to help. My thoughts and Prayers are with you, Hun.

Good Luck
Diane Methvin
(Hayleysmom)

[mgonza1]

I feel for you.

My mom gave up my sister before I was born.. it was a different era, very hard on women having babies out of wedlock, esp if you were raised within a strict Irish Catholic upbringing..

I've been searching for over 10 years.. and this past month, think I've located her, emailed her, but she hasn't replied.. she was born in NY.. and is now in NJ..

It's very painful at times.. the silence.. so many things go thru your mind.. you've waited so long.. so many years waiting to see this face that you dreamed would welcome you.. and there's only silence..

But i have faith, hope. I read these threads often to give me patience, understanding...

Keep searching.. have faith.. continue the journey..
Even when they're found, it's another journey.. but I'm willing to embark if she is..

[sspete]

Jenny--I am so very sorry for the loses you have had to suffer through. Your story was so very touching. I wish you the best of luck in finding your sister. The two of you deserve to know each other. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please keep us updated on your search. spete

[snicklefritz]

Your story sounds so familiar to mine it is scary. The dates are close to the same, but I was born in Little Rock, AR. My Birthname was Barbara Sue Fleeman. Where Fleeman comes from I don't know. I had a wonderful adopted family and wouldn't trade them or the memories of them for anything. I was
also told that my mother was approx 14 yrs. old when I was born. I will soon be 45. If you need to commuicate, please feel free to contact me at snicklefritz69@cox-internet.com
Susan Rhea

[shirleyville]

Jenny,
Your post touched me! I am the "big sister" to three siblings, who have no idea that I exist. I located our mother this past January, thru the use of a Confidential Intermediary, and she was not in a place, emotionally, to be able to accept contact. One of the reasons she gave was that she could not bring herself to tell her other children that I exist. The real "rub" of the entire situation is that since then, I have learned that my birthmother, and all three of my siblings, live within a ten mile radius of me. They are right here, in my own back yard, so to speak, and they have no idea I even exist, let alone know that we are virtually "neighbors".
I am in contact with my birth aunt (birthmom's sister) and my birth cousin -- who, ironically, I was friends with in high school, and I am just now beginning to understand the family dynamic that doesn't allow for my siblings to know of me. The family is not in good shape.....my siblings are not "stable" -- lots of alcohol and perpetual unemployment......mom is married to an alcoholic, who also is perpetually unemployed......not a good situation at all. It breaks my heart, but I DO understand my birthmother's resistance to having me become involved in the family after all these years.......although I wish she could know that none of these things matter to me. I would still very much like to have contact, but I have to respect her wishes.
I wish you luck in finding your sister....please keep us posted!
Hugs,
Sally