[auntangie]

I am an aunt of a child given up for adoption. My question: Is it common for adoptive parents to change the birth date of an adopted child?
The reason I ask is complicated, but I will try to explain.
Sister #1 gave up a child for adoption, born December 14, 1981.
Sister #2 kept her son, born April 20, 1982.
Kids grow up, boy meets girl, etc...the son of Sister #2 is engaged to get married. Sister #1 and I saw pictures of the girl he intends to marry, and we are almost certain this girl is her biological child whom she gave up for adoption in 1981. However, her birth date does not match. She states her birthdate as March 15, 1982. 3 months after Sister #1's baby was born. This could be the date the adoption was finalized (90 days!).
IF these two are indeed first cousins, we need to stop this wedding. Where do we begin? I have asked a few questions such as where she was born, but have no answers yet...dont want to arouse too much suspicion yet. Help!!

[numbr1dbcksfan]

That is too crazy for words......

Why doesnt the sister #2 have her son's fiance's parents over for dinner.....that doesnt sound too weird. Then share embarrassing baby stories....if you talk about your labor and they either say she is adopted or talk about the labor you will know whether she is adopted or not. If Sister #1 met the parents, may be she could even stop by...that shouldnt seem weird either since they would meet at the wedding anyway....

Or may be your son would know if she is adopted....

Either way, I dont think you can just blurt it out....

Just curious though....what makes you think...out of everyone on the planet that this is her birthchild?? It seems like the chances of that would be very slim!!!

Good Luck

[auntangie]

Well, my first reaction was "nah...couldn't be...what are the odds of this happening.?" But the more I look at the pictures of this young lady, the resemblance to my sister is uncanny...right down to the shape of her nose, her facial expressions, etc. It would not be out of the realm of possibility. The baby was born in a town only 90 miles away. Throughout the past 21 years I had seen a family here in my town with a girl I would have sworn was the adopted girl, so possibly they moved here for whatever reason. When I first saw pictures of the girl, I said, "she sure looks familiar -- almost like part of the family". Crap!! I just really feel strongly this could be her...call it a gut feeling.
So, I guess my sister (#1, the birthmother) and I will try to get some concrete answers before the wedding. Sister #2, the mother of the boy involved doesn't have a clue that we think this about the girl. But I dont see how she could miss it!!
I really just wonder though, is it possible that the adopted parents changed the girl's DOB?

[evansmum]

It IS possible, but not likely. The difference in the two dates, though, would make sense. BUT, if it's true, she probably doesn't even know she's adopted then.

I would suggest telling sister #2 though. She may even know if the girl's said she was adopted before or something.

One idea would be to ask them (son and daughter) for pictures from different stages in their lives, so that you can make a scrap book for their wedding. How they grew up, stuff they did, how they met, etc etc. It WOULD be a nice addition to the reception, if she's not related to you, anyway.

Well, good luck. I really hope you're wrong though - it would definitely suck. Could you imagine? "Sorry, you can't get married, she's Aunt So-and-so's daughter." EW EW EW, cause you KNOW they've probably slept together!!!!!!!

THAT is why my parents made CAS give them my biological parents' names - so I wouldn't date someone that was related to me!

Keep us posted - this is better than Y & R!!!

[Lins452]

I have been told that it isn't that common, except for when adoption first began, but my birthdate was amended and i dunno how anyone else feels, but i feel SO fake! I feel almost not real...it really makes me not want to even celebrate "my birthday". what about anyone else?

[Lins452]

I have been told that it isn't that common, except for when adoption first began, but my birthdate was amended and i dunno how anyone else feels, but i feel SO fake! I feel almost not real...it really makes me not want to even celebrate "my birthday". what about anyone else?