[Barela-NM]

I sure hope I'm not out of line here. I am trying so hard to try to find. Mateo and Joseph They we're adopted before I knew about it, then it was to late. My daughter was on drugs and was arrested and put in jail. her and I really never got along because of it. I raised the boys until they were somewhere around 3 or 4 and then, out of the blue. she comes and made me believe that she was straight and had her life together. so, over a few weeks time. I believed in her and I gave the boys back to her for that day only.what a mistake I made and I will never live it down/ OOOh, how I was wrong. I didn't know they were adopted until a couple of years later and it was to late. . I just want to know that they are ok. its been years now and I still haven't been able to find them. I want them both to know that I loved them so much and I never gave up on them. never! I long to hold them on my arms again and tell them how much I love them. I'm so scared that I am going to pass away without them knowing this. I know that they were adopted out of Alamogordo New Mexico. Thier names were Mateo and Joseph Martines.
Mateo, I think turned 18 on March 28th. but not really sure. I pray for them both everyday. there is alot of illness that runs in my family. I sent a letter years ago to the adoption place in new mexico, but to no avail. if anything, I just need to know that they are ok.. I miss them something awful. I want them to know that I never once forgot about them. Please, I don't know if anyone can help. But thank you for at least listening to me..God bless you all. and thank you for at least listening to me. Rhonda Barela
p.s.
I hope I posted it in the right place.

[Hadley2]

I am so very sorry that this has come to pass in your life and the lives of your grandsons. I can only hope that they have had a good life and that you will find them and have comfort in that, at least.

You may want to post here: http://forums.adoption.com/search-birthfamily-adoptee/

That is the forum devoted to search and reunion. Be sure to read the Important Information thread at the top of the forum. It gives valuable instructions. Then post in the thread that says, "All birth family post here" or something like that AND post your own thread.

Include information that helps to identify your grandsons--names, dates and places of birth, etc. Do not include non-identifying informatin such as a special pet name they had for you, the name of a favorite pet, or other such things that you can ask to see if they are really your grandsons.

Good luck, I hope you find them.

[DPline]

I have moved this thread to the Search for Birthfamily or Adoptee forum which is a more appropriate location.

Good luck with your search!

[spoiled3fan]

I would contact Troy Dunn, the Locator. Yours sounds like just the kind of story he likes to do. He has a TV show, where he finds lost people. Go to www.troythelocator.com and send them your story. It couldn't hurt. God bless you and I wish you good luck in your search.

[Barela-NM]

Thank you for replying to my thread. I have thought about that for some time now. I still need to think about that for awhile. Look. I applaud the A Family that adopted the both of my boys. And If they had all the love that they so deprately needed and wanted, then I would never want to step beteen that. I applaud thier parents for adopting them. and I want them to know that I would never ever step between thier A family. All I want/Need is to be apart of thier lives. I know Mateo remembers, but joseph might not. All I want and Need is to Tell them that I never gave up on them, I feel like I am to blame for them being put in a foster home. because if I would of just listened to my gut that day. The boys would of still been with me. I sometimes wonder. did they forget about me. I hope not. The day I gave mateo and Joseph to my daughter and thier dad. something in the pit of my stomach told me not to. But I thought that it was maybe just me being selfish. I still remember mateo's brown hair and josephs black hair. Mateo looked like a Barela.(My side of the family) and joseph looked like a Martines, his dads,(Johnny) side of the family. They were grandma's reason for getting up everyday.It has been years now. but I can still remember the Huge White Stuffed Teddy bear I gave them for christmas.lol it was huge. but they would both sit on its legs. I even have a picture of that. I had to take the pictures of them down because I was getting into a depression that I knew was going to put me over the edge. Now I can look at them and smile. I know they aren't little boys anymore. I just want them to know that they were loved so very much. thats all. I don't want to come between thier family. I just want to be apart of it. I would never say or do anything that would harm the family they have now.as long as they are loved. i ask. that if the Parents of mateo and joseph happen to read this. Please. Please. allow me to have contact with them I will do whatever you ask of me. I just need to be in my boys life. ooh and they have a sister. her name is Chantelle Barela and my daughter isn't raising her either. But I get to call her anytime. she is in New Mexico. I am in New Jersey. I am sorry I keep raddling on.,but I can go on and on about them, and how happy they were when they were with thier nana.Mateo and Joseph.. If you see this.. Just know that I love you both with ever fiber of my being. and I will never stop thinking or giving up on the two of you. never.. I love you Mateo., I love you Joseph. You are my blood grandsons. I just need to know you both are ok.. I was going to tell you both what I use to call you two. but I was advised not to give any details, just in case someone trys to take advantage of my love for you both. God bless you both and God bless your family that you are with. love you all.
NaNa Rhonda L Barela

[RavenSong]

Dear Rhonda,

I lived in New Mexico for many years, and worked closely with Sally File, the founder of Operation Identity in Albuquerque. There are search angels and Court-Appointed Confidential Intermediaries who can help you find Mateo and Joseph. You may want to visit the following website for help in finding your grandsons. New Mexico Adoption Search, which has all the relevant contact information listed on its homepage, can be found at: www.nmadoptionsearch.com/. Although Sally is no longer a Confidential Intermediary, she acts as mentor and consultant for the CI's on the website.

[feb171983]

Have you tried looking the up on social networks?
I would imagine that, at 18 or 19, they would/might be online.