[blakely509]

Seeing that this is my first post on these forums ever I thought I would introduce myself and give a little bit of background information first. My name is Paul Jones and I was born in Norfolk, VA on October 25, 1980. I was awarded a closed adoption at that time to two super cool aparents in which I love and cherish very much. Anyways, I have began my search by signing up with a CI from my original Adoption center and they also have provided me with my NID forms from which I have actually now deciphered a full name of my bmother from. I have a first and last name. I have done a search on all of the usual websites such as facebook, myspace, etc. and have come up with nothing as far as her name goes. Perhaps she has married since that point and her last name has changed. However, I have found her sister who now lives in California. I also have obtained her address and a phone number. From everyone who has had experience with this, would it be in my best interest to let the CI continue his search and not get involved at all with contacting her or should I either call her or email her and speak with her? I also feel like I should call the CI and share with him the fact that I did pull a name from under the poorly marked through NID form he sent me and let him know I found my mothers name and have located her sister. I just don't know if there is any way I could get in trouble by doing this or not. What does everyone here think about my situation? Any help will be appreciated.

-Paul

[up2long]

I would let him know. He might be able to locate her now that he has a full name.

It is always good to share the information with your search team.

If you did find her sister, congrats. I would suggest sending her a letter via e-mail or snail mail. See if she responds.

If she doesn't respond it could mean that she doesn't know who you are talking about or she doesn't know how to rspond on her sister's behalf.

Good luck.

If you need help in the search, just ask.



Tom

[St3v3n]

I would suggest that you tell the CI the information you have, but don't tell him how you got the name. After all, he's the one who sent you the form, and he was responsible for marking through the name, so he could get in trouble for not doing it very well. Or, he might start doing a better job of it in the future, denying other adoptees that same advantage you had.

Anyway, do give him the name, address, and phone number you found. I would suggest letting him continue to make the first contact, because that is often less of a shock and allows your bmom a little time to process what's going on before talking to you.

Good luck!