[Mavanna]

I just found out the people who were doing my search were scamming people. Finding my birth family feels so hopeless now. I keep grasping for a glimpse of what they are like but I can never seem to reach.

Right now I am at a time in my life where I feel like something is pushing me to see how far I can go before breaking. All I want is that one look at where and who i come from. I can't help but feel like I am asking too much now

Registries have turned up nothing, hope cottage just runs me in circles and told me that they cannot give me any contact info on the grounds that i am not emotionally ready for contact therefore am not eligible for contact. I don't know the court the adoption was approved by and I don't know if that is enough to go on.

I have non-identifying info, that gives me my mothers and three siblings ages at the time of my birth and that my mother was a twin.

[dlb003]

Hi Mavanna - I am so sorry to hear that someone is scamming you.

I am not familer with Hope Cottage - who are they ? Did they ask for more money when they told you you were not emotionally ready ?

[Mavanna]

yes with counseling I would be, their counseling not mine (which I have done) which would cost like 300 more dollars

Originally Posted by dlb003

Hi Mavanna - I am so sorry to hear that someone is scamming you.

I am not familer with Hope Cottage - who are they ? Did they ask for more money when they told you you were not emotionally ready ?

[dlb003]

Hi Marvanna -

I does'nt appear, by looking at thier website, that they cater much to adoptee's, more to the b. parents. Looks like thier bread and butter appears to be... please give us your child for placment and we will give the b.mom's counsling. I frankly find it dispicable. A loophole if you will, in order to gain another revenue stream. If you already have non - id info, what more are they willing to give you if you have counsling ?

While I agree that we all need counsling for this - I think this website, the support from other adoptee's and b. parents and reading as much as you can on adoption from both sides is more than enough to prepare someone for this emotional time. I am not paying for it, nor will I ever let an agency who has alternative motives like $$ tell me what I am or am not prepared for. Having said that - search, search and dont give up. Take breaks if it gets to deep. Get support from this site.

Know that finding your b. family, while it will have an impact on your life, do not expect it to save your life. It is up to you to maintain and survive. It is your life and it could be years before you find them. Hopefully not, but I have been searching since 95 - it is not easy, but I take alot of breaks if it gets to much. I live for now, with the loves of my life. My b. family will be an added addtion to my life, but they are not my whole life.

If you dont mind my asking...how old are you ?

[Mavanna]

I am 21, I am married and have 3 kiddos, They are my life and my husband saved me. This is just something I want both for that look at who I come from and to make sure there are not health issues I need to worry about.

I know I have a family now and forever more, but still, I would like to know

Originally Posted by dlb003

Hi Marvanna -

I does'nt appear, by looking at thier website, that they cater much to adoptee's, more to the b. parents. Looks like thier bread and butter appears to be... please give us your child for placment and we will give the b.mom's counsling. I frankly find it dispicable. A loophole if you will, in order to gain another revenue stream. If you already have non - id info, what more are they willing to give you if you have counsling ?

While I agree that we all need counsling for this - I think this website, the support from other adoptee's and b. parents and reading as much as you can on adoption from both sides is more than enough to prepare someone for this emotional time. I am not paying for it, nor will I ever let an agency who has alternative motives like $$ tell me what I am or am not prepared for. Having said that - search, search and dont give up. Take breaks if it gets to deep. Get support from this site.

Know that finding your b. family, while it will have an impact on your life, do not expect it to save your life. It is up to you to maintain and survive. It is your life and it could be years before you find them. Hopefully not, but I have been searching since 95 - it is not easy, but I take alot of breaks if it gets to much. I live for now, with the loves of my life. My b. family will be an added addtion to my life, but they are not my whole life.

If you dont mind my asking...how old are you ?

[dlb003]

Yeah - Those folks sound like they are looking for more $.

Your just going to have to take back the control that these people have taken from you and continue on your own. I would reach out to some search angeles to help you. You will have to resign yourself that this could take awhile...

Take it one day at a time and if you get to emotional or impatient during your search-TAKE A BREAK!

Take care of yourself, your husband and your lovely little ones and do not become so obssessed with your search that you lose sight of them.

Good luck and keep me posted !!!