[feb171983]

A person e-mailed me last Fall, giving me a phone number and saying that she might be who I was looking for.

I called the person. She had NO info-- asked me questions. I said the city name, she said "yes." In fact, I asked most of the questions and she said "yes." (Clearly, a dumb idea, but I figured that someone really might not remember the doctor's name or similar info 20+ years later). We talked on the phone for over an hour-- she seemed nice enough, but there was no emotion on either side.

I had my doubts, at the very least. But, I thought that I would give it a chance. I asked her to send photos via e-mail. Months later, I haven't heard a word from her.
I e-mailed her a month ago just saying "how are you." No response. I had read on the boards that other people have had this happen, and knew it was a possibility-- but I didn't think that anyone would be so sick and twisted as to really lie to someone like that. In fact, I can't prove that she's "not" the person-- nor can (could) she prove that she was. And, with no contact since, my former doubts are outweighing the remote possibility of it really being her.

I'm beginning to think that not only was she not "the one" (bmom), but a poser and liar. How can I be sure?

I suppose I should have said that we must confirm it through the state, but I didn't. (She said only her first name, though the phone book had a full name matching her phone number). I tried to get some basic medical/socio. info around that same time, and still haven't heard anything from the state).

Have you been duped? How do you really know if you've been duped?

What if the person is concerned about their privacy and gives only a first name-- but really is the biological mom/relative? Same goes to DNA tests by mail-- a person could really be the person, but not want the biological "parent"/"child"/"sibling" knowing their full name and personal info (address, profession, such).

[paigeturner]

I'm sorry this happened to you. I will tell you that as a first mom, I've been searching using a paid searchers for my son for over two years. I can't think of something more devastating than to be scammed. And I don't understand how someone could get a thrill by playing with someone else's emotions in this way.

Again, I'm sorry this happened to you and I wish you success in your search.

[feb171983]

Thanks. I was wondering if I'd ever get a reply here. The odd thing is I can't "prove" that the person was entirely trying to hoax me, but still. Some people are ********- literally, not ******* kids. Good luck in your search.

I suppose that no one likes to hear these "stories" of jerks, but, it happens.. and everyone has to be careful. Demand verification-- or walk away.

Originally Posted by paigeturner

I'm sorry this happened to you. I will tell you that as a first mom, I've been searching using a paid searchers for my son for over two years. I can't think of something more devastating than to be scammed. And I don't understand how someone could get a thrill by playing with someone else's emotions in this way.

Again, I'm sorry this happened to you and I wish you success in your search.

[feb171983]

Have many of you had similar experiences? Either simply bogus, or failed matches?