[Archive]

Originally Posted By Nancy

I found my husband's birth siblings nearly 2 years ago. The siblings didn't know he existed; after initial shock, his sister and he both regret they didn't meet years ago. He was 56 and her 49 when they met, are now very close, live only an hour apart. Unfortunately, his birthfather died in 1972, hereditary disease that my husband now has. Thank goodness we seeked siblings in time to save his life with surgery 5 months ago after learning of the heart disease. His bio mother raised him with adoptive father, bio father was denied rights to see child by maternal grandfather's fight and gun. In olden days, people got by law like that, not anymore thanks to new laws. We're enjoying new found nieces too. 4 brothers choose not to meet him, but sister makes up for their love in any way she can, she also doesn't have good relationship with them.

So I say if you have opportunity to meet siblings, do it while they're healthy and alive; then they have choice whether or not to accept you. Many times they have been lied to by bio parent or bio parent hides truth for many years from her family, including her father who many times years ago didn't let father know. Bio mother would go stay with another family member in another town to hide pregnancy and shame from family members.

Good luck with your searches!

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Lianne

I was told my adoptive parents that I have three older brothers, but I don't know where to start to look for them. I was born 8-11-66 in Rochester, New York. I don't know if these siblings know about me or not. Any information to help me locate them would be very musch appreciated.

[Prichard]

I couldn't agree more. It seems common that birthparents think we should be secrets. With the passage of eight years from my reunion, I decided this was unnaceptable to me as a human being.

Although this isn't something to do in the first year, or maybe even first five or ten years of the very sensitive reunion with a birth mother, after some time has past these reunions can be made. If the adoptee is willing to accept possible conflict with birthparents, reunions with siblings should happen while we are still alive and hopefully healthy.

I know I don't speak for everyone, but I want to lend my support for those who are facing these issues. I am grateful that I was given birth and placed for adoption. Beyond that, I am a human being too. For those who feel similar, you have my experienced support.

[scarlet52698]

It seems common that birthparents think we should be secrets.

That is a VERY broad generalization to make about birthparents. I'm sorry that you feel that way.