[vdaloca28]

With the help of a search Angel We might have found my half sister's. My question is how should I approach them about their adoption & introduce myself as their half sister's. Call them or send a letter???
Can others share what they have done to reconnect with their family??? thanks Angela

[brysonlove]

i recently found my half brother and half sister, i was the only one adopted out...i wrote letters to them both...my sister has not answered me, however, my brother and i have been communicating for over two months now by mail and phone...and next month i get to meet him face to face for the first time, as he is 17 and moving in with us!!! (our mom recently died...) so i think letters are the way to go for initial contact...but i know there are so many different experiences out there...let me know how it goes!!!

[Born1944]

Angela,

I have made contact (and been contacted) via email, face 2 face and by phone. Let me explain.

I searched for my sister for 28 +years (most of her life as I held her last when I was 6 years and she 4 months old.) As a little girl I would ride my bike past the Elementary schools. When I got my license I would drive by the Jr. High schools. She, through the help of an angel, found my posts on the internet so she knew I was searching for her. I received multiple emails stating she wanted contact. (I used many email addresses over the years.) I called the very night I found the emails. We met in person the next day and a few hours after we met I took her to meet our father.

My brother - I made contact by me going up to his door and knocking. Not always the best way I admit but was perfect for us actually. (I had his address for 2 years though before I acted on making contact and knew I would have to do it then as I was driving by the area and did not live nearby so I just went for it.) His abrother had searched for and found his own bfamily and so my brother was very open to meeting us.

As for my fathers bfamily. I made a phone call. Being 73 years old I felt I needed to call his eldest sister. He spoke with most of his siblings over the phone the first week and we flew to NJ to meet them F2F (face2face) 5 months later. His sister did not remember him due to circumstances but when she saw his picture (which I sent to a brother and her son via email) she knew instantly he was one of them as he looks JUST like his grandfather and the most like his bmom of all the siblings. Only 1 sib remembers him but is not talking, 1 was deceased (as well as bmom) and 2 sibs we cannot locate. All the other sibs speak to him often via phone.

You have to do what you feel most comfortable in doing. Some people could never walk up to the door. For some it is the only way. If writing a letter is how YOU would want to be approached it just may be the way YOUR BFAMILY would like it too.

I would send a picture if I wrote them. It definetly showed my fathers bfamily that I was not a wacko and that my dad was indeed their relative. (They did not say that but I imagine if someone called our house and I never knew it might make me wonder.)

I have helped many people reuinte over the years and I would say it was 1/2 and 1/2 on writing vs. calling. We have been blessed as all the reunions went well with the exception of one who currently says she needs more time right now but the family members have shared pictures and some calls. A few are still in the honeymoon phase so we will see how they go in the future. One adoptee found her bmom only to have her bmom fighting cancer within months of reuniting. They were both glad she called.

Blessings and best wishes,

Tina

[vdaloca28]

Thank you so much, this was nice to hear your story....I am happy It went so well.

Is there anyone else with stories??? I know I am new to the borad and I think I might have posted this in the wrong section. (sorry if I did)

Best Regards, Angela

[llaries13]

Hi,
When I found my birth mother and two of the three sisters I called her on the phone as soon as I got the info. Thank goodness she took it very well. The sisters had there arms wide open to me. I then called the other sister, she did not take it very well. A lot of people will say you need to write a letter, with me I wanted to talk as soon as possible. I had been waiting to long. You need to do what you feel inside. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.