[bumblebeeskies]

I am a search angel in ohio. I have my own copy of the Ohio birth index on cd's. I often email people that I know are looking, to offer my help. I have even emailed bmom's with the name of the child they have been searching for for years, and get no answer. I also very rarely hear back from the ones searching who I have offered free help to.

I don't understand this. To be honest, it's starting to make me angry. I do understand that many people have been taken for lots of money. However, I always make sure to include that I'm a search angel, and that my help is completely free.

Could they be skeptical? Of course. Should being skeptical keep you from accepting help from someone who has never once asked for a penny? NO.

There are some people who have been searching for years. I would think that if finding their bmom or child were so important, that they would answer my emails. What if I turned out to be some idiot who had no idea what I was doing, and just emailing people? Who cares! They have not lost any money, and if they responded, they would realize that I do know what I'm doing!

Should they answer people they don't know who are asking for any kind of fee at all? No. However, if it's free, it's only keeping them from finding their family. I don't understand this at all.

[BrandyHagz]

The only answer I can give you is this:

Some people aren't "searching" when they post - they are just putting their information out there incase the other party comes looking.

They may feel intimidated by the prospect of searching or they may have been burned by so called "search angels" who promise free services, complete the search, then hold the information hostage until some kind of outlandish fee is paid.

Sadly, it happens more often than you think - and as a result, people will run screaming for the hills any time someone uses the terms around them.

Rather than search angel (which has really been abused by paid searchers who claim to be such) why not call yourself a "Free Searcher" - and then, don't be offended if they never contact you back.

Searching means a lot of different things for different people...

[Nicole28]

I have the contact info. for a local search angel, and I have spoken with her a couple times on the phone and via email. I have told her "Okay, I'll be mailing out copies of my non-id info, etc. to you this coming week" and then I have not followed through. Why not? Because I usually panic and think "I'm just not ready yet."

I would only offer help/send emails/share names if the other person ASKS. I can understand why people would not get back in touch with you if they were not ready to proceed with their search. Like Brandy said, some people are not "searching" when they post their info. You can't force people to take advantage of your services if they aren't ready.

I would email & say something along the lines of "I am available if and when you are ready to continue your search." This way the people who recieve the emails can come to you when they are ready, and you won't feel rejected.

Nicole

[preciouskygirl]

Just a thought: maybe they are afraid you aren't for real. I myself have never turned down an offer of help, but I can say that a couple of times, after responding, I get an email back quoting me the cost to do their search (usually in excess of $500). Now I am not opposed to paying someone to find information, but at the time, I wasn't in the position to do so. Also if I am going to pay someone, I want to be the one to seek out the searcher so that I know they are for real. There are so many scams out there, people are naturally skeptical.

Don't lose hope, those that are determined to find their birth families or their adopted children will find you or respond to your emails.

I am a search angel myself, I try to help all that ask (though it is not always possible). I have been offered money for my help... I ALWAYS refuse and tell them that knowing I helped someone reunite with their family is payment enough. Also, if I contact anyone, I start my emails explaining that I am a search angel and that I never charge or ask for ANY money.

God Bless you for wantinng to help any many people as you can.

preciouskygirl

[Born1944]

I agree with most everything said so far. I can say that people have asked me to help and there have been times (especially because I had found some info right away) I have actually contacted and many times I hear nothing back. I am saddened by this especially when they write in their posts "Please help, anything you may know about my family....."

I had a person say they wanted my help but would only tell me the bare minimum NID info and wanted me to search using just that when they had already gone to the college they believed both the bparents went to and found a picture of a man who looked pretty much like the adoptee. Then wanted me to search so I could confirm this was the bfather but they would not give me the name to be able to run checks against the info. So I did the only thing I could do, I sent the adoptee ideas to hopefully further the research to compare against the possible name. Hopefully they will have the resources and access to find the info.

It was the adoptees loss as I could have probably confirmed the name for them. However, I (and other free, volunteer, research angels, are not magicians with the ability to pull rabbits out of a hat. I can only do what I can with the info I have available to me.

I am thankful that I have been able to reunite so many people over the years. I use every detail they provide to run unique searches. Sometimes I find the person or info that can lead to the person and sometimes I find nothing more than what they already have. (On occasion they leave out info because they are afriad I am not for real or whatever and I work at it and then end up providing them with something they already have and just wasted an hour or more of my time. That I think is what makes me mad really. Otherwise, it is just their loss if they do not want my help.)

I too refuse the money just like each of you. As I try to explain to each one, I am trying to provide the info I have available to me at this moment whether they are ready or able to search with it now because who knows when we will lose access to the info we have access to. (For example, Look at locateme and it no longer being available.)

Blessings on each of you and the work you do for others.

Tina

[Quinte]

I am a Bmom searching in Ontario Canada and have posted for help from a search angel and to no avail.I finally went with a company for the fee of $750.00 US upfront and that was 2yrs.ago of course find out that they no longer exist.I know how they think if they feel their is a fee involved. I realize that search angel's do not charge and if whoever is helping with the search mention's a payment then delete the message as they are not the people that you want working with you unless you know this information in ADVANCE like myself and take the chance of being taken on a joyride that you don't enjoy.
SEARCHING BMOM
QUINTE

[lewellen]

I'm a search angel and have helped many people. I always tell them up front, I will not charge them a dime, may not be sucessful, and warn them they may not like what they find or could be rejected. It seems that people need to come to a certain place in their mind to become truly proactive about their search.

Many people, I think, simply want the information out there so they can be found. It does negate the rejection problem.

To really search does set you up for a lot if disappointment and pain sometimes, I try to make it clear this could happen. If they don't want to go on at that paticular time, I understand. I need to be working with someone who can take the info and accept it.

[Darlene Smith]

I am looking for my son. I have a post in the thread. I have heard from some angel's that say they will help me then I don't hear from the again. My thread is not giving up hope. My name is Darlene Smith also my e-mail address is darlene62@horizonview.net. If you can help me please send me an e-mail or a private message.

[Willow_horse]

I have to agree with Darlene.

I asked a search angel to help me look in PA...supposedly she specialized in this state. She was very happy to do so and then I never heard back from her.

Another person on this site offered me help, but I have very little to go on. I did as she asked and sent away for my non-id info, but have yet to receive it. Therefore, I haven't gotten in touch with her again.

I don't have the money to spend on a major search and am stuck with how slow the PA government is. Unfortunately, I don't live in NJ anymore, so I can't just drive over to PA and try to get some answers. I'm just hoping I hear something before I move again...in six months or so.

Hope this helps you to understand where others may be coming from. Wish you could help me. Any advice would help. Thanks.

Jill

[dehi9959]

Hello,
I have a question for search angels. I searching for my birthson. His adoption was through DSS/New York. I have registered with the the New York State Registry and ISRR. I have also received a listing of males born on his birthday residing in New York. I have contacted 95% of these young men without any being my birthson as of yet.My question, Since the adoption records are sealed and I have registered with the necessary sites along with many other registries, is there anything a Search Angel can really do for my search???
Thanks,
Debbie

[HonoreeFromHI]

Hi Jen, you did in fact email me quite some time ago. I dont think that I know how to work this site very well as I never saw your message untill today! So maybe you have contacted people like me who are clueless? I for one would give my right leg to know if my son is even looking for me. I feel as though he might reject the idea. You never know what a person is thinking. I think I am in denial, maybe just hoping that one day the phone will ring and it will be him. Like in the movies, I guess I am a dreamer..... But I will not give up hope..... Looking forward from getting an email from you!

[Longtimewaiting]

I also will never give up searching for my daughter. But, I have to admit, if someone called or emailed me and they said that they were a search angel, I would hesitate. Only because I would not know if they were legit or not. Maybe one day that search angel from Florida will find me.

[staceyk06]

Hi.I am an adoptee looking for birth family.I was born 12-6-1971 at wayne general hospital in Orrville,Ohio.
Supposedly under the name baby girl Kim.
Can you help?

[KristinSullivan]

Unfortunately, the Ohio birth index for 1971 is only about 10% complete.
The only way you can find out your birth name is to either go to the court house in Wayne county, or have someone go there for you, and search the records for your birth.
There couldn't have been that many female births on 12/6/71. So, it's worth a shot.
Do you still live in Ohio?

Kristin

[feb171983]

Wow, a search angel is what I'd DREAM about.

I know nothing about my birthmother or family, other than my place of birth and that she was young. I don't know what she wanted to name me, since my adopted parents chose the name.

Honestly, I guess I'd be suspicious at first if someone contacted me out of the blue.. but I wish they would! I guess I'd be either scared that they'd spread the word that I'm adopted (I tell no one), or that I wouldn't (or WOULD) find something which is a bit scary, or assume they were either not serious or trying to charge me. I haven't had the problem of being contacted, though!

I hope that you are able to not to take the person doing that so personally.

Maybe the person got scared, or didn't think you were serious, or were afraid of what they found/didn't fiind. That's really charitable, compassionate, and such a great thing to do. So, THANKS for helping out all the people you have helped.. what a great thing to do for someone!