[Penguinman]

Searching for Birthmom has been very fustrating. I thought I may have found my birthmom, but when I sent an email I never got back a response. So on I go to continue to search. I guess I am getting to the point where I no longer want to spend time searching. I know it seems like an easy thing to do by quitting my search but I have just hit an empty path in my search. Growing up I always wanted to know what my birthparents looked like, so I could figure out what I will look like when I get older. I am made it 26 years with not knowing my birthparents. I really started serching a few months ago, becuase I lost my father(who had adopted me in 1979) in January of this year. He was 64 and I realized that anyday can be your last. So I wanted to see if I could agleast find one of my birthparents and get a picture, but everywhere I search it always ends up an empty path, so I am completly outta ideas on where to search. Well I just needed to vent a bit. Thanks to anyone who listens

[blambdin]

Have you already tried talking to the agency that handled your adoption?

[Penguinman]

All I know is that it was a private agency who handled it and I do not know the name of the agency.

[KristinSullivan]

If you know the county in which you were adopted, you can petition the court in that county and be able to get some information that way.
Also, do you know your birth mother's name at the time of your birth?
I think there are so many things to do before you give up your search.
I know the feeling of wanting to give up, but I get right back in there, and manage to find another site where I can post my message, and hope someone will see it, and contact me.
I hope you decide to keep searching . . you just never know.
Good luck to you.

[Penguinman]

The only things I know is my b-day, what hospital I was born in, the time, how much I weighed. I know I was not named. Its kinda hard to petition a court when I was born in OK and I live in NJ.
I thought I did find my birthmom from an archived post on this site, found her current email and sent an email 2wice and have not heard anything. Its been over a month and I figured that its not her. So I am at square 1. Everywhere I have searched no one is looking for a boy born Aug 18, 1979 in Tulsa, OK. I posted other posts on this site and no one responded. I have gone through many search engines on a daily basis and nada. So I guess I feel this is a one way search that will never get anywhere.

[Autore3]

Don't give up. It still might be her, but she may be rethinking about a reunion. Give her time.

[KristinSullivan]

Where did you get this e-mail address from that you thought would be your birth mom's? Are you sure it's her address? There's a website that you can check to see who that e-mail address belongs to.
It's . . www.searchbug.com
You may be able to find a person by their e-mail address. Just click onto find a person, and then click onto e-mail address on the next page.
Good luck . .
But, hang in there . . don't give up. Many people have found their birth parents and families thru these websites.
My blessings to you.
Debarybabs

[Penguinman]

I got the email adress through searching the net, I found that she registered at a site and its was a yahoo email adress. I checked yahoo profile and I ran a search on the email adress and she has used that same email adress October of this year. So I am sure that its vaild and the right one. Its funny it took me all of 3 days to find a possible birth mother and still I have had no response. I even put in the email to respond even if she is not and its a misunderstanding just so I can continue my search. I tried email 2wice and nada. So I am guessing is was not her. I have been searching on and off now for 6 years and have recently really searching. I guess I am sorta afraid that it will consume my life. One thing that I and most every adoptee has in common is we do not know where we come from, our nationallity. I rember when I was younger and in grade school, we had an in class assingment to figure out what trait we had recieved from each of our parents. I raised my hand and told the teacher I did not know. I said I was adopted. So I did not have to do that assingment. But little things in my life like that I will never forget. So I would like to know things about myself. Even if just a picture or just to meet my birthmom for 5 min, would mean the world to me.
I love my mother and (father RIP 2005) and to me they are and always will be my parents. To me anyone who adopts a child is a saint. Both my 2 sister and I were all adopted, up until my father passed away in January of this year I never relized how great of a person he really was. He owned a busniess for 20 years before it closed in 02. He put his life into that company just so my mother, my sister and I could have a good life, he passed away from heart failure. He was 64. He did everything he could to give us everything so to me he not only is a great person for adopting me and my sisters, but for giving his life just so we could have good ones.

[KristinSullivan]

www.adoptin.org
http://registry.adoption.com
www.adoptiondatabase.org
www.adopteeconnect.com
www.kindredpursuits.org

Good luck

[KristinSullivan]

Here's another one . . Adoption Record Database, then click onto the old skylace adoption site. Maybe the fourth one down.

Keep us posted . . .

[melissa44444]

Just wanted to let you know that I can relate to all of the feelings that you are having right now. I have given up on my search many times only to pick it up again a few years later. If you ever need someone to vent to or just to talk to, I was born in 1978 and am still searching and would love to have someone in the same boat to talk to. My email address is in my profile. Best wishes to you and hope to talk to you soon.

Melissa

[shadeinfla]

Penguinman,

Hi I have been searching on behalf of my husband for his b family for over a year now. He is 47 born in 1958. I want you to know your post about giving me hit home for me today. I was just saying that I was going to quit, call it a day, and let this all go.. Over that year of searching we have found out much about my hubby's family, but not enough to find his birth mom or birth fathers names. Nor have we found any of his 8 half siblings, but we do know they are still living, and both supplied updated medical information , but denied him contact. There have been many times I have thought about quiting , these are times that maybe I pull back a bit and take a break. Then something happens , and I am back at it again. So hang in there, maybe take a break but don't quit! Good luck with the searching....

Best
Shade

[lindamccrea]

Penguinman, Just a thought, maybe your birthmom doesn't check this email often. I know I have replace mine a few times or since I get little activity on one, I didn't check often. Do you have address or phone? That might be a better way to try. At least if you sent a letter, send it registered so you can know for sure it was received. Good luck in your search.

[KristinSullivan]

I don't think it is necessary to live in the same county or state that you were adopted in, in order to file a petition. I think it can all be done thru the mail. A friend of mine is doing it thru the mails from Florida to North Carolina.
Call the family court in the county in which you were adopted, and ask them to help you with a petition to open your adoption records. You will be able to find out a lot of information that way. They will send you the necessary paperwork, and just take it from there. I think it's something that could take some time, but it will be worth it in the long run.
You may even want to try to contact the hospital you were born in, and see if they can produce any records, or any information for you.
It's worth a try.
I suppose I'm not one to stop at anything. I strongly believe we can do this on our own. It may take us a little longer than the professionals, but I really, in my heart feel that we can accomplish this search, and get the results we are looking for.

[Penguinman]

Thank you everyone for your support. I know its not an easy task to be able to find you bmom or bfather, but it should not be such a difficult task. To me forbidding people, or making people have to go through such a stink to find there birth parents, is absurd. Its like the government is taking away our right to know who we are. I know who I am, where I started out since I was born and my adoptive families history. But before that I know nothing. I can understand certain circumstance why they would not want to give out the info. But who died and made all these government Hippies the right to forbid people of knowing where they come from. To me theres something not right there. Anyone who was not adopted know who they are and where they come from. So becuase I am adopted, I am forbidden of that right? It just angers me that myself and every other adoptee on this site has to go through such extents to find out info about who they really are. Not to sound horrible, but I think once an adoptee reaches 18 he or she should be givin the right to know where they come from. It should be a very simple process. And not trying to sound horrible or mean, but I think for the bmothers it should be harder to get info if any at all. I am sorry if people disagree with my feelings but I think it should be the adoptee's right. If that were the case than agleast all the birthmoms would know that if there son or daughter(s) can contact them with out a problem. Thanks for listing to my rant everyone. I am going to keep on trying to find out who I am.