[Noelle85]

I have been looking for my birthmother for a long time, but had no luck. I've read the non-identifying information about her and it seems we have a lot in common. We both have brown hair, brown eyes, approx. same height and weight (not including her pregnancy weight. I have been dying to meet her.

Recently, my adoptive mother found a card that had the Adoption Agencies name and number on it. The agency had moved, but after a long search I located the agency and called them up. Who should pick up but Mrs. Betty, the lady who handle my adoption.

She told me everything she could remember and has agreed to help me. Since I will be 18 in one week, she has agreed to help me. She is going to contact the courts who have my records to find out my birthmother's name and the address she lived at 18 years ago when I was born. She is going to locate my birthmother and see if she is willing to have contact with me.

I am scared, because I don't know weather or not she will be willing to talk to me. I am so close, but so far at the same time. She was 15 when I was born and in the 10th grade. What if she doesn't want to have contact with me?? What if she just wants to forget I ever happened?

After all this time, this is IT. Either she wants to contact me or she doesn't. If she doesn't, the agency won't tell me anything. If she does, I finally get to meet the family I've been searching for for so long.

Can you see why I'm scared? Advise? Suggestions? Please, tell me what you think!!

~Noelle~
~Scared in Mississippi~

[Stacy]

I know and understand how you feel. Most adoptees feel the same way, we are afraid that we may be rejected. It is normal to feel this way. Ask God for guidance and for the strength to handle what ever happens. If you read some of the posts by the birth mothers with in the forums here you will see that most of them would love to have contact with their child. They wanted the baby to have something they felt that they could not give to them at that time. It's scary not knowing how they will feel or what they will do. Just remember that if she does want contact, take it slow, develope a relation with her, let things flow naturally. Good Luck and if you want to tak feel free to contact me.

Stacy
1morningstar@buckeye-express.com

[bjdemasters]

hi,
I am happy for you that you may find your birthmother. You know what? I bet she will be as scared as you to learn that you would like to meet her. She probably has not forgotten that you'll be 18 in a week either.
See, I personally am a birthmom. I was 16 when i got pregnant, and got married,ended up with 4 children that i couldn't raise on my own due to no help,even from family.
I divorced their father due to abuse and he has nothing to do with them. 3 of my children were adopted out and I have my daughter with me. I can tell you that you may not feel any connection,so to speak, with her but you will know it's her when you see her. look deep into her eyes when you first meet and you may see something. All the love that she's held for you over the years.
I fortunately get to see my sons once a year. I say you face head on and don't forget to be open minded no matter what, and write down some of your questions because you will forget to ask all of them, believe me.

hope it all works out for you.

Bjdemasters

[snuffie]

Hi!
I am so happy for you. It sounds like you will soon have a lot of your questions answered!
I was "pen pals" with the social worker who handled my adoption many years ago. She told me some non-identifying things. But because she had handled so many adoptions over the years, not everything was accurate. So you may find some discrepancies with what Miss Betty has told you.
Your feelings are very normal. I think we all feel the way you are feeling at some point or another. We want to know - but are so afraid. But, also, you must be as prepared as you can be for all out comes. If she does not want contact with you, it will hurt like hell. I know as that happend to me the first time I tried. But that may change over time and it was not due to me, it was due to things that were occuring in her life at the time.
There are many good books out there to prepare you for a reunion.

I wish you every happiness and I will pray that you will finally meet the family you so want.

Hugs
Snuffie