[Drywall]

ka....re-read your posts...adoption and re-union are based on a roller coaster. Adoption is a deep and sometimes dark, emotional experience, with a life long sentence.

Evidence suggests that many more women search, than guys. Moreover, the adoption causes of rage, feelings of abandonment, grief and loss are not entirely understood.

Perhaps a therapist would be able to help your husband establish the reasons for the rage and his concerns. This may be a way to help him heal.

As an adoptee it is easy to have strong emotional concerns in regards to things we may not remember.

Adoptees sometimes have strong feelings surrounding the unknown pieces of our lives, and there is an ongoing expectation that the information we will get, will contain the worst possible outcome.

This is not unlike the individuals who are afraid of cancer and refuse to see a Dr. When they do see the physician, there is no sign of cancer....treatment will be a short dose of antibiotics. The result was an ending of their fears, and a great improvement in the quality of their lives.

Often information from a-parents or b-parents helps to fill in the missing gaps...but there are always more questions. And probably of the most concern is the question of the re-union and its outcome...will there be more rejection? Will I finally become whole, etc.?

Your husband needs to know you would support and help him in any way, but this is a very personal issue and one he will have to decide.

I wish you the best.
male adoptee