[heidibay66]

I was just reading through some posts and thinking about some of the questions that people have asked and asked for help with and I just thought that there were questions I would really like to have answered someday. So I thought, since I haven't found my family yet, maybe I could ask them and give you moms a place to vent.
I am an adoptee and I was born in the 60's. I have seen and heard so many things from that time, about adoption, that I just wonder, how many of you actually made the choice to give up your child? Did you have any choice whether it was a sealed adoption? What made you start looking? If you answer please let me know which state the adoption took place at so we, as adoptees, can understand some of the turbulence or frame of mind, at the time we were adopted.
Thank you so much for helping.

[Jackiejdajda]

How many of you actually made the choice to give up your child?

I made a choice before I got pregnant.. I made a choice to have sex with no protection..
I knew I might get pregnant.. I had a couple of times when I thought I was and when I was not I continued with my reckless behavior..
I knew what society thought about women pregnant when not married.. I knew how wrong I was behaving..

I had a choice on how I was going to give my son up.. I had a choice on whether I would find an illegal abortionist.. that would do the abortion..
But I had no choice with keeping my son.. I could not let my sisters in-laws know about my being pregnant out of wedlock..
I was not able to go against the family dogma.. the secrets and the keeping up with the ones with money.. etc..
I was not able to pay for insurance for my unborn child.. I did not have medical insurance for myself..
I know I limited my choices by the way I lived.. I was 20/21 and reckless and stupid..

Did you have any choice whether it was a sealed adoption?

The judge told me that if I signed the papers.. (this three months after the birth) my son would no longer be my son..
He made sure I knew what I was doing..

There was no chance of open..

What made you start looking?

I wanted to know.. what happened..
I wanted to know if he was okay..

If you answer please let me know which state the adoption took place at so we, as adoptees, can understand some of the turbulence or frame of mind, at the time we were adopted.

This happened in Florida.. Miami.. 1965.
I got pregnant in Boston Mass and took the Greyhound to Miami where my parents lived..
We thought I was going to get an abortion but I could not go through with it.. I knew I must not abort my unborn child.
A spiritual thing..
I got a job on Grand Bahamas Island.. BOAC.. stewardess when we thought I was going to get an abortion..
I kept the job till I showed and then we hid me out in a motel in Boca Raton till I went to the hospital..

Catholic Charities.. are the people I contacted.. St Vincent Maternity and Adoption Center..
They treated myself and my parents very well..
And my son went to a good home.. They (Audrey Wahl) knew about this family because they had adopted from them years before..

Jackie

[iangeleyes]

I placed my son for adoption back in 1985. I pretty much did as my parents expected of me. I don't think I realized how hard it would be, just did as I was told. When I talked to the adoption agency, prior to my son's birth, nothing was ever mentioned about open adoptions, no other option was ever even offered to me other than a closed adoption. I did eventually find out that there was the opportunity of an open adoption, however, it was way too late for that. My son's adoption occurred in TN. One thing that I know about his adoption, is that it was through a private adoption agency. I was informed that he would not be adopted by anyone outside of TN, but would not be in the same area. I lived in west TN, and it was presented to me that he would be adopted by someone who lived in middle or east TN.

[heidibay66]

Thank you so much for sharing your stories and I look forward to hearing more. I wanted to tell you both merry Christmas and thank you for being here.

[keeperofbrats07]

well i gave my birth daughter up because i was almost homeless and not getting any help from my parents my ex-boy friend or state i got pregnent at 14 i had her at 15 i lived on my own i went to school and to work i couldnt get help from the state . i had to prove that my ex was the father but he wouldnt pay child support. my parents disowned me long story short i was 16 when i gave her up i couldnt do it on my own no matter how hard i tryed . so i went to the state and asked if they could keep her till i got back on my feet they told me no that i would have to give her up . i didnt no what to do so i did it thinking in my heart that she would be better off they told me i had 30 days to change my mind and i did because i felt so bad . we went to court and they told the judge that i was mean to her (which is a big fat lie) so they said no it wasnt happening.well that was 23 yrs ago and each day is pure heck on me and i pray that 1 day i will see her and she will tell me she was raised by a loving family and she wishes to be apart of my life . i will never stop looking till the day that i die .

[heidibay66]

Thank you all for sharing. You don't know how much it means to me to hear from original parents about their experiences. It really helps us adoptees to have more understanding of what you went through. It is hard on our end to put ourselves in your shoes.
I hope you all had a wonderful christmas and have a beautiful new year.
Heidi

[keeperofbrats07]

you know heidi that you have the same name that i gave my daughter thats how i found your site i named he heidi ann mcdowell she was born on nov 24 1982 she now has a sister that is 15 her name is tara. well i pray all goes well with you .
mitzi
birth mom to heidi ann

[heidibay66]

Well, from one Heidi adoptee I can tell you that I love my name. My middle name is Marlette, it is my amom's name and my oldest daughters middle name too.
We are putting together a media opportunity and I was wondering if any of your original moms would like to have your story in our video. Just contact me and I will let you know what is going on.
Thank you all for sharing with me, I love to hear how my original mom may feel or what she may have gone through. Thanks again.
Heidi

[heidibay66]

I wanted to bump this one up because I am still working on that video about sealed adoption and I want to get more stories.
Thank you all for sharing.
Heidi