[Blue Irish Eyes]

You are welcome and keep us posted....

[newlyorphaned]

Hi again all!

Well I've sat here and licked my wounds for awhile and I decided that the squeeky wheel usually gets the grease. Since finding what's left of my bio-family siblings and some cousins speculation has begun as to who my birth father might be. The speculation has been pretty sick. So I sat down and sent off another letter to the court with another petition and included emails between myself and my cousin with all the disgusting speculation. I have told the judge that the truth could not be worse that the gossip and asked him to give myself and the family the truth. I was a whole lot bolder in my request this time. Now to sit back and wait another six months! I'm growing in patience through this experience. Anyone out there know if I can legally appeal the courts decision in CA if he turns me down again? I'm wondering if I could get an attorney to take the case. Will keep you posted since it may help someone else dealing with the supposedly "liberal" courts in L.A. HA! Thanks to all for your support.

[looking4ever_now6]

this is just plain stupid. my sister has been looking for her 2 sons forever and they won't give her any info. the amom is deceased and because the adad is alive is the reason they give her. but for them they are 38 and 39 years of age. i believe when an adoptee turns 21 they should have the right to see their own birth records, the courts keeping back info from them is like some doctor's office not allowing you to have your own medical records. they are yours and i believe they ought to be released to all 21 and ove adoptees. it's just not right to keep them from them.

[shadeinfla]

I could not agree more with you on this. Some you know that if you were lucky and born in New Hamsphire, Oregon, Alabama, Alaska or Kansas adoptees at maturity have the right to their OBC's. I am not sure where the writer of this post's sister gave birth but for us here in Florida where my husbands adoption took place we are a very backwards state I could easily write a book on this subject. What you can do to help your sister is write the legislators in the state in which her children were born and appeal to their common sense to do what is right and revise the law. In Florida we have numerous obstacles to over come before our law will be revised. We need to make our state senators and Reps realize they were wrong in 1951 when they changed the law to included sealed records. But as stated we are a backwards state. This will take large groups such as the AMA, PTA, Realtors, Etc to get the law changed, as large
groups are the ones policitians pay attention to... it will be a long fight. But all journey's begin with the first step.. so where ever you are take that step and write or call you state senators and representatives voice your opinion. Good luck to your sister in finding her sons, I wish my husband's birth mother felt the way your sister does!

Best
Shade

Originally Posted by looking4ever_now6

this is just plain stupid. my sister has been looking for her 2 sons forever and they won't give her any info. the amom is deceased and because the adad is alive is the reason they give her. but for them they are 38 and 39 years of age. i believe when an adoptee turns 21 they should have the right to see their own birth records, the courts keeping back info from them is like some doctor's office not allowing you to have your own medical records. they are yours and i believe they ought to be released to all 21 and ove adoptees. it's just not right to keep them from them.

[MissyJ]

I agree that at 21, we should be allowed access to and be able to receive ALL of our records. Everything from OBC's to relinquishment records and court records.

Many birth parents also don't know that THEY can receive info or to sign forms to allow their current address/name to be given to the child they relinquished.

The worst state? Mass!!! My father-in-law's records are sealed until 2022, as that will be 100 years after his adoption. Since my FIL is deceased, we can't get anything to help out with geneology.

For all birth parents out there, did you consider that your child has not been told that he/she was adopted? Not all a/parents are honest with the children they adopt...

[dorothy7]

I'm having the same problem. I've sent letters to Judges without a reply. My adoptive parents are no longer living and I'm sure by birth parents arn't either. Still Judges refuse to give me information. Any help from successful individuals will be appreciated.

[heartbeat]

Hi,

I just saw this "Sealed Records" thread and thought this might help someone.

South Dakota records are sealed, but I was able to get mine. Don't feel like it's hopeless - don't know until you try. Call whatever state department handles adoptions - mine was Dept of Child Welfare. When they answer, say something like, "Hi (their name). This is (your first & last name). I'm adopted, and I was wondering how I might go about seeing if I could have my adoption records opened." (Tip: repeating the person's first name when you say hello is a good practice for almost any business phone call. It's seen as friendly and, for a lot of different reasons, is likely to benefit you. Giving them your name puts them at ease for several reasons)

They may transfer you, or tell you they'll send you a form, ask your name and dob, etc. I describe this in detail because I'm sure at least a couple of you might be scared to death, like I was. I felt like I was doing something sneaky, for one thing. The other thing is that this was just about the most important thing ever in my life, and it scared me knowing that this lady could either help or hinder me. I felt very lucky - the women I spoke with on several calls were all very helpful, even eager to help. I never trusted them enough to get buddy buddy and let them know how important it was, but at one point one of them said something like, "Oh good. Judge kindman has jurisdiction over your area. He almost always signs these so you'll probably get your records. (I could hear the smile in her voice for me). Now, Judge doodyhead won't sign ANY. Doesn't matter what your reason is - even health histories - nothing. He just doesn't believe in it." So I felt that they were in my corner.

btw, I don't know if it's nationwide or not, but in SD the decision is up to the individual Justices. To me, that's just appalling - there should be a nationwide, or at least statewide statute, imo.

Anyway, the Judge will probably want a letter stating why you want the records. Here's what I sent; maybe it'll help someone. I was careful to downplay the whole "wanting to know who they are" aspect, but I thought it would be too obvious of an omission not to mention it at all. And I had a health issue surface recently, which fit into the letter perfectly.

Honorable Judge _________,

This is in response to your request for my reasons for wanting information from my adoption file.

I've had a heart murmur since birth and was diagnosed with hypertension in my 20's. I'm now 46, and the recent discovery of an enlarged aorta has demonstrated to me the importance of finding out my genetic and familial medical background. In addition to the medical aspect, I'm curious. Although I was raised in a great adoptive home, I've always felt a desire to know the history and heritage of my birth family and I would be open to the possibility of having contact with one or more of them.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Respectfully, ___________


Best wishes,

heartbeat

[heartbeat]

Oh!

Forgot to say this: I learned a couple of tips from the well-known company based in Florida called PeopleFinders, INC. One is, when sending something to a place that always get typed letters from other businesses, send a hand-written letter. It's unusual and more noticeable. Also, write in black or blue only. If your own handwriting is indecipherable, have someone with neat handwriting do it for you. In addition to increasing its noticibility, it's much more personal than a typed letter - it reminds them that there's a real person on the other end.

To mail it, use one of those heavy brown envelopes - again, a way to stand out in that big stack of mail. They even said express mail it if you really want it to be noticed. It sends the message that this is really important to the sender. That would naturally make most people curious about what could be in there ---> top of the stack. These things also help with follow up phone calls. They might remember your name more readily if your letter stood out. And familiarity with your name is a good thing. If you did express it, you can say "Yes, I was calling about a letter I sent express mail to Judge ______ 2 weeks ago. I was wondering where we are in that process."

PeopleFinders, INC (I think that's who they are, they're on Oprah, etc, fairly often and do free searches for the shows) they use these tips themselves in searches. I bought a $300 search kit that was awesome. It was a 3 ring binder with approx a 4-5 inch thickness of forms they use that you can copy, tips, reasoning behind the tips, and I think 6 cassettes to listen to.

Anyway, hope that helps!

heartbeat

[newlyorphaned]

Hi All! Love to everyone! Took a break again! The waiting kills me sometimes!

Had to go to a funeral in Texas over the weekend and got a call from hubby "you've got a letter here from the Supreme Court of California." "Well open it and read it to me!"

"Dear Mrs. ______

Please be advised that your petition for birth record information in the above entitled adoption matter has been approved by the Court. You were granted to obtain a copy of the adoption file and the original birth certificate."

Took two petitions and in the second one I flat got blunt and forceful. Spilled everything. Uncle might be my father, Grandpa might be my father, or adoption attorney might be my father. Uncle comitted suicide 6 months after I surfaced and anyone who could be effected other than myself and my poor cousin who thinks her father is my father are probably dead! I asked the judge if the truth could be any worse than what we are speculating. Guess I made a 'compelling' case huh! I specifically asked for the interview that my b-mom completed with the Department of Social Services and they gave me the whole thing!

Probably have to wait another 6 months for them to go over and dig out the file like I've had to wait the last 2 times when I petitioned but oh well, we have learned well how to wait haven't we???

The first thing I thought of when I got the news was that I couldn't wait to get back and tell all of you. You guys may or may not realize how important your role has been in this long journey. You guys were there telling me it was possable and teaching me how to search in the beginning, you were there holding my hand and telling me not to give up when I wanted to. You let me vent and loved me when I was angry and frustrated and you have rejoyced with me with every new discovery. I want to thank each and everyone of you from the bottom of my heart and pray that each of you finds the loved ones we've never gotten to know! Don't give up no matter what!

In the beginning I was timid and scared of searching and asking the court to release my records. As time went on I got madder than heck. And as I matured as a searcher I learned that it's not personal to anyone but us. The court system is just a big bureaucacy so don't be afraid to go for the brass ring!

Blue Irish Eyes, Snuffy,and Pink and Blue a special thanks to each of you for all your support. Wouldn't have made it without you. Hang in there, miracles happen!

I'll let you know what I find out as soon as it comes in. In the mean time. Love to all, Newly

[IknowIamloved61]

I wish I had a wonderful answer for you, but 25 years of trying to petition the courts in Utah later, I'm no closer than you are. However, if you are going to petition the courts, I would definitely state your reason as need for long-term familial health history. Do you have any hereditary health problems (i.e., high blood pressure, fibromyalgia, diabetes, etc.)? I have seen a lot more success for others when using that reason, though I myself have serious health issues that the Utah Courts are not willing to acknowledge reason for opening the records for, even though Utah Laws state that if I or my birth parents wish, we can contact the agency that performed the adoption (in this case L.D.S. Social Services) and request that they contact the other individual to see if there is a willingness or a desire there and then work to connect the two parties. Best of luck in your petition. I hope you are able to do with the Texas Courts what I have not been able to in the Utah Courts.

[MissyJ]

YAY Newly!

I may end up having to do the petition thing. I really hate that, but am waiting on my savings account to grow so I can do a DNA on a possible half-brother.

Since the remaining family of my b/dad is not talking, and have completely denied that "he could have fathered a child out of wedlock," I get to go the DNA half sibling and family study route. This is NOT fun and it is too expensive for my little purse.

Thanks for letting us know that there is hope out there. Maybe one day all records will be open and the truth known.

Missy

[heartbeat]

Hiya Newly,

Congratulations! I'm very happy right along with you. It's been a couple of years since I petitioned and it was granted, but the memory ranks right up there with marriage proposals, college graduation and wedding days - maybe higher.

Uncle might be my father, Grandpa might be my father, or adoption attorney might be my father.

My uncle is my father - it happens. <shrug>

Hopefully it won't take long for the papers to come. Mine took about a week, and they were from the lesser-populated S.D. It sounds like you're be getting the same packet I did with b-mom interview.

heartbeat

[colleend01]

I feel for all of you that are going thru getting the courts to open up your information. I was adopted out of Ohio, and when I called them, they told me ALL the information they had on me. However my siblings were adopted out of a state that is a closed adoption state. I have done all my searching online, and have found several of them. Keep your chins up and keep posting all you can! (and keep after the courts...)

[Meldoran]

Hi, Im 46 , 5-7-1960, female and have systemic lupus. I have not yet started to look, but since my health has really taken a turn for the worse, I would like to know....i had trouble at birth, so i know there must be medical records from the nursery about blood infusions, etc. Does anyone know where Mississisppi stands on divulging infomation from the Children's home in Jackson?

[ladyjs]

Who was the judge, if you were adopted in tarrant county then call the courthouse and they will tell you to contact a mediator, they will give you her name and number and it will cost about 300 for her to find your records. she will contact birth family and it will be up to them to reply.