[newlyorphaned]

Bruce,

I've been searching for over a year and a half and had hit nothing but dead ends. My biomother, her sister, and youngest daughter had all passed away back in the 90's. I contacted my mother's - husbands- nephew who was a bit strange...said he was going off sailing and would send me a couple of pictures of my mother in a couple of years! He said that my half brother was a "flake" and ran down my half sister to the point he said he hoped she was dead (she was driving the car messed up on pills when my mother was killed) she's out there somewhere but has dropped out of sight. My brother is ignorning all attempts at contact. My non id info provided me with the fact that my mother had 2 half sisters and then I found them and their names listed on Ancestery.com by my Grandfather's nephew. I ran down the addresses and one of my mother's half sisters got the letter and forwarded it to her cousion! She e-mailed me back and she has two adopted children herself so has some understanding! I'm going to call her this weekend. She said that she is going to get some PICTURES together for me this weekend! I can't stop crying! It took about 6 months for my non id info to come back...very frustrating. Looks like it's going to take that long to have the court consider my petition to unseal my OBC. Have a great day! I was scared everytime I took any kind of action but it get's easier with each time.

[Blue Irish Eyes]

Good for you...;like you I was searching, and often in all the wrong places too, and it is a slow process. And I got lots of slammed doors like you..and the news I have from the cousin I have been in touch with is not all happy news at all. There have been family estrangements for reasons we are trying to understand..and some of the aunts married badly and were at the least verbally abused as were some of the kids..So we need to corral our excitement at sometimes and learn all we can. If you have read some case stories on the forums there have been some who have located the bfamilies only to have had lots of problems from them. So like you, when I get myself overly excited, I remind myself to settle down, calm down and move forward with some caution.
Three Cheers for your good news and I hope some of what you have been told is wrong.

[newlyorphaned]

Hey Blue,

I called my bio-second cousion tonight. It was weird at first kind of a long pause but once we started talking the time flew. I can not believe the conversation... She gave me some family history and sadly what I had was not incorrect Grandpa, Grandma and Mom were all bad alcoholics. At least I was prepared. Now for the Great Parts! She's sending me pictures of my mother and aunt as little girls told me some memories and HAS OLD HOME MOVIES OF MY MOTHER!!!!! She's going to go through them and have copies made for me. Can you believe it!!!! She's got movies of my Grandfather as well! It's more than I ever could have asked for! She told me that when my aunt that I contacted called her she kept saying "I got a package today" over and over until she finally asked her what was in the package. My cousins sister still lives in California and remembered the fact that my mother gave up a baby. She also gave me the name of the high school my mom went to so Monday guess who's calling the school librian to see if I can get a picture out of the year book. I really think I needed my existance to be acknowledged by someone in the family. I have a peace that I didn't have before. She's done some geneology and was talking about going through it and sending me some stuff and when she got to the part about having a picture of my mother I started crying and she said that she would send them first and the rest of the stuff later. I am totally blown away! She has 2 adopted children of her own so she has some understanding of what it's like. She seemed to think that my aunt would be contacting me and said that she would call her and let her know that she spoke with me. We agreed to stay in contact through e-mails, who knows!!! Maybe someday.....

[Blue Irish Eyes]

Wow..movies!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dare I hope that I might find somthing like that too? My cousin said she would be sending pictures as soon as she gets a chance to get into the albums. Her home has been under some renovations..We just did some of that so I understand how hard it is to reach things in the room at the back!

I am eager too to see a few pictures. As the aunts weren't close, my cousin is hoping that she has some of my biomom...

I need to sit down and write some questions that need answers but there is so much that jus swirls around that it is hard to know where to begin.

I am doing the genealogy thing too and even though I won't know these people ( since they belong to the ages now) it would be nice to put the names on a tree in the proper certain place. But the family was not close..or for some reason my bmom was either shunned by them or she estranged herself..but the why of it is what we hope to try to figure out without bothering people who want nothing to do with me in particular.

But like you it is nice to be acknowledged by the bio family even if and maybe most especially if the one who does acknowledge you is an adoptee as well.

Keep us postd on your "Great Adventure"!

[newlyorphaned]

Blue,

I hope that you and all of us get movies some day. It was sure beyound my wildest dreams - I never even considered the posablility. Doing this geneology search I had figured out pretty much that they probably wern't close as a family. My cousion tried to broach the subject of alcoholism very carefully, thankfully I already knew about it but appreciate her tact anyway. I got to thinking after reading your e-mails that maybe that's a part why they gave us up because they didn't have family support. Of course I was born in the 50's and there was quite a social stigma of being an unwed mother not to mention the fact that my Daddy was a married man. It is so strange in some ways this is anticlimatic but I have this peace I don't ever remember having before. Did you feel some sort of peace when you spoke with your relatives? I of course did not get all my questions answered and have thought of some since last night but am going to wait a few days and then e-mail her again. Have a great day and thanks for sharing this with me.

[srchin']

OH newlyorphanded this is GREAT NEWS!!!!! How do you feel??? Like your on top of the world, huh??? How awesome that we got it on the same week....Totally cool!!! Ah, hearing this just makes me soooo happy!!!!! Enjoy, I know I am!!!!!

srchin'

[newlyorphaned]

I am grinning from ear to ear needless to say. How is communication going with your birth family?

[newlyorphaned]

I have pictures! They came in about 3 hours ago and I've finally stoped crying! She's about 7 and her sister is about 6 and they are SO beautiful. Yep! I've got her nose, her smile and her chin. I'm mesmerized! There's a picture of her father my Grandfather and he was a handsome guy. These came from my aunt with a wonderful note. The LORD has been good to me. I called on the petition to the court this morning and they said it's there and to call back in a month if I don't here anything before then. Don't give up! It's been worth every bit of pain and all the hours. I sent the letter off to my other cousion the two halfs of the family are not in contact so we'll see what happens there. Love to all!

[srchin']

Newltorphaned, THAT IS GREAT!!!!!! I bet you are just on cloud 9!!!!!! I am so excited for you.....I know exactly how your feeling....it's just the best and sooooo totally worth all of the grief ahead of time.......I'm excited for you!!!!! So how is everything else going??? Any new news??? Me and bdad are going to meet for the 1st time April 16th...I'm ready for that and bmom and bro are coming to me in May....Enjoy the feeling I hope mine never goes away, I know you feel the same..... Your right, we are soooo blessed!!!!! I hope you here something soon about the petition soon...I'd love to hear how that turns out too. Keep us posted on all this GOOD NEWS you've got!!!!!!

srchin'

[newlyorphaned]

Srchin,

I'm so happy for you. Everyone keeps asking me if I am going to meet them. We're not there yet. I got a beautiful letter from my aunt and have written her back. I'm still waiting on the SS-5 form to come in and am going to call the courts back in a couple of weeks. If they turn me down I'm going to repetiton I think my cousion will write a letter for me. I'm going to suprise my Amom with a viist for her 80th BD and am going to take the pictures down there with me for her to look at. I mailed a letter off to my first cousion at the variation of the address I sent it to before. I'm waiting to see what comes of that. Having a picture of my mother, Grandfather, Aunts, Great Grandparents and GG Grandparents is just more that I ever dreamed of. I looked into my mother's eyes and got the strangest feeling that I'd seen that look in my own or something. My friend who is a counselor said since she kept me for a few months I probably bonded to her and that weird feeling might be a preverbal memory. Cool huh? I don't know that I'm buying it but I like the thought. I'm so glad things are going well for you with your family. It's been a LONG haul for both of us. When my OBC comes in I'm gonna write my brother again and send him a copy. I want so much to have contact with him. We are truly blessed!

[srchin']

The pictures are awesome aren't they......I'm glad it's all going so great!!!! We are truely blessed!!!!! Keep us updated.....oh yeah, on April 15th and 16th I meet the bdad face to face for the first time....I also e-mailed his new wife for the first time yesterday....small talk only but we both kinda agreed that she should have a part in our reunion too......he and I will meet alone in April but after that I think we might all go to see a Braves game (unofficially so far) I hope all continues to go GREAT for y'all!!!!!!!

srchin'

[newlyorphaned]

Awsome!!!

I asked my cousion if her sister in CA might have any idea on who my bfather might have been. No one knows apparently. Since my mother died I don't guess I will get the chance to meet any of the nuclear family. What's it like??? I took a break for a couple of days and my cousion and I have e-mailed again. She's anxious to have my OBC to confirm things as I am so I think were in kind of a holding pattern at the moment. I'm gonna call the court house again Friday. She did say she is sending some more pictures. I am so happy for you GO BRAVES!!!!

[srchin']

For me it's wonderful but kinda complicated....it's like this bdad is more open about the situation where as bmom is keeping it a secret (for her own reasons .....and I have no objections at all) So bdad and I talk often and for long periods of time where me and bmom only talk sporaticly and very briefly.........they are all absolutely wonderful people and I love them all dearly!!!!

I know your waiting on pins and needles for those pictures.......Can you believe everything is going so GREAT????? Do ya still get that tingly feeling in your tummy sometimes when ya think about it all???? I do!!!!

srchin'

[newlyorphaned]

Girl,
When I look at my mother's pictures I just get a sense of peace. It's amazing how much love I feel for her. I absolutly love having contact with my cousion she is such a wonderful lady! We're starting to add some day to day stuff into our e-mails and starting to get to know each other a little bit. I would not trade this for the world. I'm flying down to my amom's next week for her b-day...I called my abrother to see if he got my e-mail and knew I was coming. I also told him about the search, contact and pictures. He told me today that my bmom came by the house one day when he was about 16, I would have been about 3 or 4. Said she had her "boyfriend with her." He said we'd talk more when I got there. He said that she was an attractive lady and thinks he can identify the pictures for me. She didn't just walk away and forget me! I was starting to feel afraid that she would have rejected me like my half brother if she were still living but that dos'nt sound like a mother who would reject her child does it? The blessings just keep coming and coming. I remember early on when I kept reading all the posts here and thought my turn would never come. Man the ups and downs but it's all been worth it. I excited to hear how your reunion goes.

[KyleBruceNelson]

I got my non-identifying info this afternoon and for the first time in 41 years I know for sure what nationalities I have...well at least half of them and that's a good day for this Grandfather! I had to quit reading all the posts here for a while...the anticipation was awful, and reading "happy" posts wasn't helping : ) No offense! !
I found out my birthname is Mark Alaxander...hmmm...Kyle Bruce....Mark Alaxander, forgive me, I'm losing it here, I don't know what to think just yet. It took less than a month...so if anyone is waiting have hope and I feel for ya, this is crazy!