[newlyorphaned]

I decided to check back on the message boards at ancestery.com tonight and there was a response to my post. Some distant relative of my bmom's and I guess mine! was trying to locate my mother and her sister! [b]He gave me the names of my Grandparents!
My Grandparents divorced and remarried and I have the half sister's names as well, apparently they live in Il. My husbands asleep so you guys are the first to know althought how he slept through my repeating "OH MY GOD" over and over I don't know. I am on cloud nine!!! I posted so cross your fingers. He must not have seen them in awhile cuz he only listed my brother as my mother's child. Can you believe it? I finally have my Grandparent's names!!!!! Will keep you posted. Thankyou Lord!

[newlyorphaned]

Okay I'm freaked out I posted twice, sorry!

[KyleBruceNelson]

Congradulations!! Horray! Have a wonderful day too!

[Blue Irish Eyes]

If your grandparents are now deceased and if you know the state in which they died as well as the town, you can call the library and ask them to check the archives for an obit. You may be able to learn much more information.

[srchin']

Newlyorphaned,
THAT IS AWESOME!!!!! I bet you are freaking out...I know I would be!!!! I am so happy for you!!!! That is great news!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

srchin'

[newlyorphaned]

Yep, I'm freaking out and grinning from ear to ear all day. Have'nt heard anything back yet but that's okay. Thought I'd give it a couple of weeks at least before I go calling people out of the blue again. Hopeing that he will sort of break the news for me. Been putting some peices together. Grandparents divorced when bmom was eight. My adoptive mother told me a long time ago that my Grandfather called one day and asked to see me. She says she said okay but that he could'nt tell me who he was and that he didn't show but knowing my amom I kind of doubt that story. I'm thinking now that he probably threw a fit when he found out that my bmom and his ex-wife gave up his Grandaughter up for adoption and doubt that he ever got to lay eyes on me. I've always had a soft spot in my heart for the man. Thankyou Grandpa Russel! It looks like my half aunts who are still living in Illinois would be in their early 60's. There are about 6 new cousions. The more people the better the odds of finding someone willing to have contact with me right? Right now I'm just kind of enjoying the moment because I really had just about given up hope of ever finding anyone. Thanks for all the love and support. Will keep you posted.

[srchin']

That is awesome......CONGRATS!!!! Do let us know what becomes of all this new info and all of these new people. I do think your right, the more the merrier....someone is bound to talk.

srchin'

[newlyorphaned]

Okay, need some advise! I've got the address and phone number of my mother's half sister. Question is...would it be better to call or write and include all the documentation I have? You'd think I would be over being nervous at this point but I'm not.

[Blue Irish Eyes]

That is a question that you are going to have to decide for yourself despite the advice or suggestions you get here. Frankly I don't know which way is better. In my case I sent letters to my bmom's sisters, heard nothing for 3 months and wrote again. Then I got a nastygram from one of them on behalf of all three. Had I called I'm sure I would have got an ear full and a hang up.
Since then, I located a cousin. I called her.She was lovely to me and we are going to visit again by phone. Both of us had to settle with the news we shared with one another.
A friend of mine suggested to me it is easier to talk with a cousin than a sibling or even the bparent. I found this true with my one cousin that I have found. Perhaps it may be the same with a half sister. Good luck...

[newlyorphaned]

Thanks Blue,

I've sent letters without any response and I'm wanting so badly to hear the voice of a biological relative at least. A cussing out would be better than this silence! I sat down and wrote the letter last night and am kind of sitting on it for a couple of days. I'm making copies of some of the documentation to send along to back up my claims.

[Blue Irish Eyes]

Got to tell you something about the wanting to hear the voice...I was just talking to my new found cousin whom I have come to like a great deal.We visit for an hour at at time I think..anyway..while we were just talking she said that she told her sister that talking to me was creepy...in a good way ...that I have the same voice as their mother and aunts...and I have the same inflection and some similar expressions and how can that be when I was not raised anywhere near them...
Her sister is willing to talk to me but not sure about a relationship. Whatever she wants is fine with me..it would be nice to be at least on cordial terms but time will tell.
Hang in there. Some of these things take time..lots of time..and things happen the way it should. There are highs and lows and you just have to ride it out.

[newlyorphaned]

Thanks Blue,

I spoke by telephone briefly to my bmom's husbands nephew and he said that I "sound a lot like her on the phone." I'm trying to be patient but it's hard. I got the letter writen to my half aunt and told her that I would like contact on any terms she requires. I will acept the crumbs off the floor at this point. Thanks for the support!

[Blue Irish Eyes]

Hang in there...I have had some really low lows..and a year plus later..a nice high. Things work out the way it is supposed to in terms of timing.
You have an open door and once the other side feels less threatened then they may come round to talking.

I sent my cousin a picture of myself and my husband and she emailed back saying I am a dead ringer for another cousin and that L look like the aunts. Funny, the aunt that wrote the nastygram is the mother of my look alike cousin. She must have fallen off her seat when she saw the pictures I sent.
I won't bother that aunt nor her family. I am just so thrilled that I have a cousin ( who it turns out is also and adoptee) who is open to a friendship. I consider myself very lucky to have found such a wonderful gal and cousin..what a treat.
There will be treats for you too in some way..but it takes time. We are all cheering you on..keep us posted.

[newlyorphaned]

Thanks Blue and glad things are going well with your cousion. I went ahead and sent the letter off to my aunt yesterday along with some documentation, photo's, etc. I sent it with a request for notification of delivery from the P.O. They said it should take two days to get there so it should be there tomorrow. I can feel that I am nearing the end of my search and I wanted in some way to have some sort of tribute to the woman who gave me life so yesterday I went out and purchased some family tree softwear and stayed up till midnight plugging in the information. The tree is beautiful I'm going to save it to disk and take it up to Kinko's and get it printed on banner paper and then get it framed! My tribute to my mother. As I sat back looking at it that it hit me, I started this search with my birth name and DOB from my adoption papers and a first name for my mother provided by my amom. There are 4 generations on that tree! 36 individuals including my two children and their father, 13 marriages and 14 surnames. I have learned more than I ever hoped to discover and why the whole dream (meeting Diane) did'nt come true, what a gift I have been given! I see the new posts of people just beginning their search and I remember what it was like to be there. No matter what happens from here I am VERY grateful to have been given the gift of that tree.

[Blue Irish Eyes]

When I was going through what you are now, I got a membership with Ancestry.com. I have had it two years now. There are others out there so one needs to just check them out and there are free sites too like Rootsweb.com that can help find info. Through Ancestry.com I bought the Family Tree Maker which is designed to work with their system. I know there are others out there and you can check them out by doing a google search. I keep looking too to see if there will be a program that is better. So far I am happy with what I am using since I am sort of new to the genealogy thing too. But I love it and am not only doing my bio family ( only on mother's side since I don't know the father) and have gone way way back..It can be overwhelming! I am also doing my family and it too is overwhelming and it becomes a challenge to find those missing links...And don't forget, if someone has died and you know the state, you may be able to get a copy of the death certificate..not all states will allow non first degree family access to it. Also contact the local papers for obits and other articles they may be mentioned in. These things aren't free but many are asking for small donations of just a few dollars to keep the program going as volunteers work many of them.
In my search I have found a picture of two ancestors and the marker for the ggrandfather in the cemetery.
There is only one risk to this hobby..we can become so involved with it that we find ourselves sitting at the computer digging and gumshoeing and get FAT We still gotta move the buns to keep in shape!

Also, just because things are going slowly, don't give up the faith. I got to a point where I just wondered if a door might ever open..and more than a year after talking to the bmom and almost a year after getting slammed by a cranky aunt, and through the kismet of meeting a "Crib Sister" on a forum..one who was in the same orphanage at the same time, who happend to live near where I thought my cousin might be and through a series of little but good goofs..we connected. And we are enjoying chatting with one another. My cousin is so much like me ( though she too is an adoptee) and out upbringings so similar, we sometimes think we are looking a mirror as we share our lives.

I am grateful every day that my cousin is open and willing to share her life with me. We don't know where things will lead in terms of the family...it may not go beyond the two of us. The history may not permit it nor the wishes of others. But we have found one another and with our similarities, as she said it is like finding a long lost friend...or that we have been friends forever.

Good luck and keep me posted. I am cheering for you! Oh and I would like to know more about your software for a tree.