[dl]

Sometimes our quest for answers causes mis-understandings. I have learned the most valuable lessons on this site after a mis-understanding. Just agreeing with everyone doesn't teach anyone anything, IMO. Sometimes "teaching" is seen as "bashing". that is unfortunate. Learning something you didn't know before is a GOOD thing. Even if that means learning that your words and actions have power to hurt others. Better to learn that here, than to ruin a potential reunion, don't you think? It surely worked for me! I know my reunion wouldn't be as smooth as it is without the hard learned lessons from this site and the people I disagreed with. Getting along? Yeah, I think so. But in a real way, not some phony nonsense. Debi

Absolutely agree. Unfortunately some people interpret support as only commiserating. They state they want help but in actuality, they want pity.

It's funny, as you were posting here, I was posting something very similar on the thread "Differences in opinions should not cause lock-outs"

Support does not always mean agreeing with someone IMO. There are times where a "tough love" approach is needed.

[helpme0768]

Look Iam a male in here chatting with a bounch of women as a male i have poured out my heart to you guys(women).That in its self was hard for me because I do have a male image to up hold you know.The reason that i wrote the message that i did about i found it of know use i wasnt refering to the ones that had already wrote in here for the most part although i did find so of the responces some what hurtfull.You All are also write about two wrongs dont make a right.I also Know you women stick together.I was mad and I felt like i was being attacted by someone who didnt even know me.She was rude and used a excuse of she was taking up for everyone.A simple..Helpme I think what you said was unfair to the ones that have been writing in to this thread would have been efiecent enough. Iam sorry to the mothers that have wrote in good faith and for the one who bashed me in here i have nothing else to say to you. Iam thinking to back out of the search this stuff is for women.Ha HA.I wish you all the best in your search and GOD bless u all!!!!

[RiverGal]

I so agree with both Debsdone and dlouis. Empathy is a wonderful thing, and like a hug, something we can all use from time to time. But it took me a few kicks in the seat from some older forum members to get me moving into a productive direction with my search.

Another prevalent facet in some threads is the use of passive/aggressive postings. Those are the ones where the barbs and darts are dipped in sugar before being thrown...the apple in the razor blade approach. If someone calls the poster on the undertone, then he or she is labeled as disrespectful.

What's up with that? It's okay to rip into someone as long as it is full of fillers and LOL's???