[kachika]

i was born in NYC on september 19th, 1974.
i just started my search for my birthparents online. my records are sealed by the state of new york, but i have basic information like thier first names and ages, where they lived 29 yrs ago and where i was born.

should i not post thier names?

i did find a few phone numbers of people and am considering allowing my husband to "cold call"
what should he say. so many questions. any help is appreciated.

<sigh>

[Jen29]

Go ahead call tell them who you are an who you are looking for.i did.i talk to my aunt from Oregon.instant message my cousin in Minnesota online.i posted on Ancestry.com or Roots Web.com you may even get a response from someone who is searching for you!!never know.i called a man in Vidor,TX looking for my bmom because she was married to him an i find out he's my bdad.now he calls me every night about 6times a night. LOL!!! good luck!!!!

[silverqueenbee]

Just a word of caution to you as a new searcher; unfortunately, there have been reports in the past of disturbed people taking info that adoptees have posted and posed as a member of their bio family just by "following" their posted info. ALWAYS KEEP SOME DETAILS (to yourself)THAT WOULD BE KNOWN JUST BY YOUR BIRTH FAMILY TO VERIFY THAT THE PERSON YOU ARE SEEKING IS, IN FACT, THE PERSON WHO YOU MIGHT FIND!!

If you are just beginning your search, don't reinvent the wheel. The "search guru" (poster on this site) has some excellent info about how to begin and info to request from the adoption agency if you haven't already done so.

Read any and all books you can get your hands on re: adoption searches. Try amazon.com or half.com, then anything by "tri-adoption publishers". Adoption searches are different than missing persons searches and I found that most books have tips that I hadn't even considered (ways to find out info without shutting doors along the way). Unfortunately, we still live in a world where not everyone thinks adoptees should have the right to search or know their heritage. On that note, if you have an opinion about that, check out the link in my signature line; sign the on-line petition to change the way the laws are currently interpreted.

Best of luck in your search, B

[madgally]

Lots on cons out there - be carefull - I wouldn't give away too much information - let them come up with some of it. Also the chances are if they were looking for you they would of found you - I mean turning on the computer would be all they had to do. There is many reasons they might not be:

Death
New Family and haven't told old
Don't feel worthy


etc.......

The actual number of reunions that go well in the long run are few and far between, be carefull. I'm searching for medical information mostly - anything else is a bonus. I will probably die if I don't find them but I have time so I'm taking it slow - it isn't something I want to confront, so you can imagin how hard it would be for them. My friend found her Birth-parents - married and with 3 other children and she was still denied. Finally the B-Mother came to her and said I never told your dad I gave you away, if he found out he would leave me - now disapear and gave her a check for $50,000.00 She gave the money to an adoption charity instead of shoving it back at her.

[Jen30]

Hi don't worry about me.i was very careful about what info. i share.i was looking for a great great grandmother from MN. an the cousin i got in contact with me had the same exact info. i have gotten pics from her, my great aunt D. another cousin an another aunt.one of the cousins came down with her husband an brought pics an info. some of the pics were of my bmom.so you see i'm being careful.I 'm sorry if i told you to go right out an look,call them.yes you should be very careful.hope i didn't offend anyone here.