[LDC]

My 5 1/2 year old was invited to a birthday party for one of his classmates from kindergarten. The problem I am having is that it is a pool party and it goes from 11:00-4:00. My son is not that strong a swimmer yet, so I worry about what type of supervision there will be, plus I think all day is pretty long for a party. How can I ask tactfully how well he will be supervised around the pool? Would it be o.k. if I ask to stay for the party? I do have a life jacket for him so I could send that along. What do you guys think?

Thanks,
Lisa
mom to Carlos & Sophia

[aMarylandfamily]

I'm sure at this age safety in/around the pool will be the parent's priority but it is definitely ok to ask the questions that are going through your mind as well as ask to stay at the part as an extra set of eyes - they may already have "lifeguards" lined up to assist if they are going to have several children attending - but stay an extra set of eyes - allowing your child the freedom to be at the party without constant "be careful's" and "don't do that" ... they grow up with independence!

[JustPeachy]

Simply come right out and ask what level of supervision will there be at the pool. Explain that your child is not a strong swimmer and offer to be there to keep an eye on him if that would make you feel more comfortable. I don't think it's rude or tactless to ask these questions. Pool safety is very important, especially where small kids are involved. Also, if all day is too long, could you attend for just a few hours?

[EZ2Luv]

A pool party, I would think that parents would be welcome too. I would never just drop my child off at someone's pool party without staying there with him. It is just too dangerous for me to worry about ettiquette or how to go about asking. I don't care how many adults would be present, I would have to be there watching my child while near water. It only takes a split second for a chid to get shoved, hit his head and fall into a pool.
If you really feel uncomfortable asking who will be watching the kids, offer your own services. Anytime there was any type of pool parties that my kids are invited to, adults were also included.
EZ

[BethanyB]

I would just call and ask if it's okay for you stay. I'm sure a lot of parents will be staying anyway. I don't mean to scare anyone but there was just a story on the news here in central Jersey about a little boy who fell into the pool at a pool PARTY. There were lots of kids and adults there but they did not see the boy slip away to the pool but found him at the bottom. CPR was done but it was too late. You can never be too safe. I would totally stay for the party. I am sure the parents will understand.

[LDC]

Thanks for the replies. I called and they said they had some people lined up as lifeguards and suggested we bring a life jacket. They also said it would be fine if my husband or I stayed. Thanks for the good advice!

Lisa

[BethanyB]

Sounds good. I would have no problem leaving my child at a pool party with lifeguards. But if it makes you feel better to stay than you should. Have fun!

[dpen6]

Originally Posted by EZ2Luv

A pool party, I would think that parents would be welcome too. I would never just drop my child off at someone's pool party without staying there with him. It is just too dangerous for me to worry about ettiquette or how to go about asking. I don't care how many adults would be present, I would have to be there watching my child while near water. It only takes a split second for a chid to get shoved, hit his head and fall into a pool.
If you really feel uncomfortable asking who will be watching the kids, offer your own services. Anytime there was any type of pool parties that my kids are invited to, adults were also included.
EZ

I with you on that.

I have actualy stayed at parties for that very reason. 5 years old is still very young, and there is no one better to watch your child in a pool then you. Even with lots of adult supervison, and with the best of intentions those adults will be watching everyone else. You will be focused on watching your own.

Then again I was accused of not being able to relax when my kids were little and in pools...my neighbors would make fun of me...I saw danger with every spalsh and was ready to jump in and save at every yell!!!

[mrsred]

Remembering back when my sons were that age, when they went to birthday parties, I stayed. and when we had parties for them, at least half of the moms would stay... every year that they have aged, there have been less and less parents sticking around.
By the time our daughter came to us, she was pretty much to the age where parents don't stick around.

[LDC]

Everything went fine at the party. If I had read the invitation carefully I would have noticed it wasn't actually a birthday party. So we showed up with our gift and felt a little embarassed when we realized it wasn't a birthday party. Oh well. It was just a party to get the kids from school together to have some fun. They had lifeguards and several parents there so we felt comfortable leaving our son. We picked him up a few hours later and he had a blast. Thanks again for the great advice - it's a fine line between giving our children independence and being too overprotctive and keeping them safe all at the same time. But it is worth every moment and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Lisa